Obsti Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Im posting this here because this is probably the right forum... So I've met this girl a few months ago and we had this amazing connection the moment we've met. Unfourtenatly she had a boyfriend. but I was OK with us just being friends. because the chemistry was so great and all. we've started escelating our "relationship" 'till we were talking on the phone every day for almost 2 hours, everyday. Now I'll also mention that her boyfriend is abroad the entire time Me and her talked about everything. she helped me go through a breakup and I trusted her like she's my girlfriend. and she acted the same way. and we went out with mutual friends we were unsepretable and acted like BF/GF. with her clinging on me everything. although never once did we actually kissed. although we were very close.Also,the entire time. although I've never brought up the boyfriend issue. she not once said she's really confused about him and a part of her doesnt want him to come back... she also said that if she and I were together she'd never give up on me. obviously as the months passed I became too attached to her, I started picturing her as my girlfriend. I was still in the "FRIEND ZONE" (I think..) so I never did anything about my feelings and went on like Im used to. this was my downfall - I never looked at other girls... I started getting jealous. I was nervous and I hated myself for it, I had to do something - so I confessed - only to ease the burden from my heart. I didnt want her to break with her current BF. I just wanted her to understand that Im walking away because this has become too painful for me. so she understood. and cried a lot. and told me im one of the most important people in her life. and that she and I complete each other.. BLAH BLAH BLAH... she didnt meet my excpetations by being forward with me. even telling me that she "sees me as just a very good friend" would be ok with me! I wont have any question marks and I could go on.. A week passed by.. we've randomly met at a pub.. she said this was too painful for her and how she really missed me and how a week without me was a nightmare... and then, thats when I lost my spine. I let her kiss me.. and she did it again afterwards.. and again.. and I knew that I went 2 steps back... the day after I called up just to check on her.. she told me she doesnt remember much from yesterday but she remembers what she did and she isnt sorry for it.. she is sorry though that she confused me once again because the situation for her hasnt changed.. she has a boyfriend (still LDR). and then we stopped talking again.. and then she sent me a goodbye letter saying in the end that "she trusts me that someday ill listen to my senses and go with my heart"... I'm devestated.. her BF is coming back in 2 weeks.. I dont think I can see the image of them together.. and EVEN MORE.. how can she kiss me and then still be ok with her BF??? how can he even look at her? I understand the problems in long distance relationships... but I feel I was being used to fill a gap in her life... I know it may seem like she was trying to "save" me for the moment she's gonna break up with her BF. but I know its really unhealty for me to think that way... I've lost faith in her.. I hope guilt over what she did floods her heart... damn her.
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