about my jealousy with Long distance bf and female army best friend?

[chelle21689]

Question: What to do about my jealousy with long distance bf and female army bestfriend? Is this emotional cheating?

I've posted this earlier before on another category, but I wanted to hear more opinions. I don't want to annoy the other people on that board.

 

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and 2 years long distance. Since he moved across the country with his family, he had no friends and no life. He joined the Army Reserve and when he came back from training he ended up becoming close to a female soldier in his unit. It's been almost a year now, and I still can't help but feel jealous.

 

They are going to be deployed together, they had AIT (training) together, they went to Airborne school together, and since they both scored super high on a language test...they get to learn Dari, an Afghan language, exclusively to only 6 soldiers in their class (most of them being high rank). So, they both go to language school now as a career for the next year. This what makes them even more close....

 

I feel like they have a bond...like they're best friends. I feel like I can't compete! I want him to make new friends but it's hard when he goes to language school with just 6 people (most being high rank like his liuetenant). I've been to his classes and you can't really make new friends there lol. When he was in Airborne he did make a bunch of friends but they live across the country.

 

He has done things to try to make me feel better. He'll always pick up, he'll call me at night, we skype all the time, and well whenever I visit nothing changes. She also helps him a lot with transportation cuz he has no car so she drove us around and took us to places. When we had no place to sleep we spend the night at her place and sometimes she gives us her bed to sleep in.

 

She has a fiance in Iraq, trying to get married next year. He'll be home in a month for a couple weeks. She seems serious about him, but I don't understand how my bf and her can just be friends when they are so close. My bf says he isn't attracted to her and she reminds him of a guy. She is a tomboy but she is decently attractive still. Me and her get along, but I feel like I can never get too close because I resent her a bit.

 

Anyways, they hang out a lot but usually not alone. I wish he'd make some guy friends. He has a good guy friend from the unit but he lives 2 hours away. So those are his only two friends, her and him.

 

It's been a year and I feel like I should be over this jealousy. When I'm with them, I'm not jealous as much. They don't seem to be in love or flirty, no red flags but I fear their relationship will grow into something more. I had a dream today that he told me he was in love with her and was leaving me, and that's why I'm scared again.

Edited November 19, 2010 by chelle21689

[BachMFD650]

well for one, it is a Violation of Army Regulation to fraternize with other soldiers of your platoon (sometimes even the UNIT itself based off rules, regs, SOP's and SOG's)

 

i understand where you are coming from because my ex had the same issues, granted i'm not your boy friend...

 

that's all i can give you for now, hope it helped in some manner...