Yet another relationship mess!! I'm thinking i'm a serial disaster!

[caring guy]

Hi

Am thinking i'm a disaster area cos all my relationships end up with issues that cause them to end or have problems!!

 

Myself & my girl have had it a bit rough of late with stresses to do with money, her dad dying anniversary, her nan currently dying & her having emotional issues to do with not having much of a childhood!

It's definitely been getting to us, lack of libido, bickering etc! also we've been pretty enmeshed & around each other a lot! (not good i know).

She has depression & i guess its caused friction on our relationship, but i know it can be worked on. Its not something to throw a good relationship away for!

 

Her ex who lives close has emailed her expressing his love after 3 years of hell he put her through, saying sorry & i think she's gonna believe him! He was terribly negligent to her, humiliated her & made her feel terrible!, she was more of a mother to him & got on well with his parents & said to me once that thats why she stayed with him!

I can't believe she may have feelings for her ex, he was horrible to her, very materialistic, went playing football when her dad died! Told her to get a grip in times of depression!

 

Because we've been enmeshed lately, we've been having a few days apart a week so she can be with her girl friends & i can do my stuff!!

I picked her up from the station as she had been visiting a dying family member in hospital!

We kissed, held hands, walked into town & to a bar, all seeming normal!

We had spoken & were having a few weeks to see how it went as she felt she needed to be alone to get her head right, issues etc that have made us bicker a little!

 

After she'd had a drink, she said she couldn't live a lie & that she didn't feel the same anymore! Like something was different, she wanted to keep being together to see, but i guess the drink spoke & she didn't want to hurt me!

 

After she told me this we both were crying a lot & went home.

I'd cooked a surprise meal, bought flowers & baked her favourite buns as i knew it was a hard day for her, just a surprise & this made her more upset & guilty feeling!

 

We were both crying & she said i was a lovely person etc. I put a few things in a bag but most is still there! I'm unsure if when she gets home this morning & sees the cold meal, our photos, the buns, she'll maybe realise i dunno!

 

We had a wonderful relationship, always joking, talking, in our own little world!We always said we'd be together forever as we talk a lot & just how we get on, the chemistry is fantastic!

I'm devastated! At least her facebook status is still as in a relationship with me so maybe she's having thoughts, i hope so.!!

This pain is terrible!

 

Can anyone advise on what to do! I have to get my stuff she knows, but i don't have a key & am just hoping she sees the pics of us & remembers the times & thinks about this!!!

 

Any advise appreciated, i'm heartbroken!

[Hhhh]

Women hardly look back even if you had the best memories in the world, sorry to break it to you. She does have a lot on her plate and maybe you were the rebound guy after her 3 year relationship. On the bright side if you give her the space (NO Contact) she can think clearly and you will rise on top for better guy to be in a relationship with.

[caring guy]

I know she has a lot of emotional baggage & things to sort out in her head but i thought we could do it together! I have some anxiety issues & she thought we were not helping each other & staying the same!

 

We did so much together, all my stuff is at her flat, things that will remind her of me everyday!

Its only 2 days & i miss her like crazy, having to come back & live with family as opposed to our little love nest we had

 

She did go straight into our relationship from her terrible loveless one, but that cos we fell in love, we weren't looking & for 10 months its been wonderful!

 

If i do NC, could she come back, when she remembers the good us!! When she sees the photos of us in the flat, my stuff, places we went!

 

I'm hurting so much!