broken19 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 This is so hard. 2 months after break up and past couple of days I feel worse than I felt on the day of break up. Is this normal? I cried so much yesterday, am crying as I type this. I love him so much even though I am going through so much pain. A text from him would be so nice..a text to say he will be back. I can't understand why despite knowing the negatives I still long for him. I feel there is something seriously wrong with me. When we were together I was the strong one. He was the one who would cry and beg me to stay and say he cannot live without me. And now it is me who is doing all that and he has moved on from day one of break up. This pain is unbearable. Nothing around me makes sense. I try and get out and do things but it seems there is nothing left in the world except him. My therapist said I will be ok. Guess I just have to wait till that day. Anyone gone through similar thing? I am a strong believer in God and have been praying like crazy. Guess he has helped so far. Today I just feel worse.
Palm Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 I know exactly how you are feeling, I have been here before numerous times. I PROMISE the pain will go away. Just keep your chin up, and try to stay busy even if all you think about is him. I swear there is hope, I swear the pain will eventually numb and you will be able to function and think clearly. Please believe me.
broken-and-lost Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 i feel the same thought i was ok but now i'm back to square one i hate feeling like this too i really hope your ok
skydiveaddict Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) This pain is unbearable. Sometimes it feels that way to me too. Like tonight . I doubt I will ever be the same. My heart is crushed and it shouldn't be after all this time Edited November 19, 2010 by skydiveaddict
brown03 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 I've been going on 8 months and some day's I don't care about it or think about it as much. But everyday I go by wishing she would come back or talk to me. There is a point where it stops taking over your life. What helped me move on a bit was the fact that weather I sit here and cry or go out and live my life she is only going to come back if she wants. So I might as well make the best of it and at least make what there is to come back to more appealing and stronger. Also to keep NC I just think that if I were to ever message her it would ruin any chance in the future and either way this time was given for a reason if it's meant to be then it will work out on it's own. Even thou I strongly think she want's me to fight for her I wouldn't know and if I did it could go both ways.
havehope Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Hey I've been there too (except i'm over a year post breakup). I also struggle with wanting him after all the negatives (his cheating) but we just gotta know we're gunna be okay. Its not called a broken heart for nothing. Its supposed to hurt because you loved them. Crying helps me and its okay to cry and grieve at your own pace. Don't rush yourself. Anyways I'm a big believer in God too... and I'm trying to find my faith in all this. Thought I'd share some passages with you that helped me. The lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit - Psalm 34:18 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me - John 14:1 My strength is made perfect in weakness - II Corinthians Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who's confidence is in Him - Jeremiah 17:7 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Phil 4:13 and this one is too long to type: Matthew 6:25-34 hope those help you some!
Author broken19 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support. I used to think I was crazy feeling like this for him. He said it's just attachment and it will go away. Whereas he used to say he canot imagine life without me..to not hold me, kiss me, tickle me etc...he used to look at my shoes and pick them up and start missing me and crying when the thought of breaking up came to him. And many more..and now he is the one moving on..keeping all the stuff I gave him because it was given with love which is fair enough but contradicts what he used to say. Which is that if we ever broke up he could never bear to keep anything which reminds him of me. And i have given everything he gave me back to him as i just cant keep them...it is torture..am not sure if that's mature or not but just seeing those things made me feel sick for I had envisaged a life with him where we would grow old. He has changed now and does not seem to understand this cos that's what he wants. I guess that's wat happens when one has a personality disorder which he has. Seeing what everyone else posts here makes me ok knowing that real people feel hurt when their loved ones leave. It is normal to feel this way when you have a heart break whereas people who just continue as if nothing bad has happened never really love others but only themselves. That is so sad as he used to say he feels I was made for him. This year Christmas (which is my fav holiday), will be sad as he told me he was in love with me on christmas day last year. But i have to just enjoy it, cry and enjoy and just go on. HAVEHOPE thank you for all the bible passages...thank you so much all of you. I do hope all of you find closure or the strength to endure this pain. I guess we should be the lucky ones as we have empathy but they don't. Prayers do help and I pray you all get through this. Thanks once again and all the best. Take care.
GreenPolicy Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 This is so hard. 2 months after break up and past couple of days I feel worse than I felt on the day of break up. Is this normal? I cried so much yesterday, am crying as I type this. I love him so much even though I am going through so much pain. A text from him would be so nice..a text to say he will be back. I can't understand why despite knowing the negatives I still long for him. I feel there is something seriously wrong with me. When we were together I was the strong one. He was the one who would cry and beg me to stay and say he cannot live without me. And now it is me who is doing all that and he has moved on from day one of break up. This pain is unbearable. Nothing around me makes sense. I try and get out and do things but it seems there is nothing left in the world except him. My therapist said I will be ok. Guess I just have to wait till that day. Anyone gone through similar thing? I am a strong believer in God and have been praying like crazy. Guess he has helped so far. Today I just feel worse. Yeah, it's normal. My ex-fiancee left me six weeks ago Saturday and I'm starting to feel worse and more sad about it. You go through the stages of grief and eventually you reach the depression stage. It's here where you feel the loss fully and the magnitude of what has happened sets in. I've spent the past six weeks hoping and praying she would come back, but that has not happened. And it's starting to sink in that it probably won't. Take this as a sign that you are making progress in your grief and getting closer to healing, as much as it hurts now. Better to be going through Stage 4 Depression than to still be struggling with denial, anger and bargaining. Just stick with NC, because you are choosing more pain now over less pain later. You are choosing to go through this process with your dignity and self-respect intact, instead of begging and pleading for them to take you back. If your ex comes back, it will be because they miss you and value what you had enough to try and rekindle it, not because of NC. But one thing NC does is prevent you from destroying any chances of rekindling a relationship that still has hope. Only time will tell if yours is merely in hiatus or already truly over.
reknown29 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I feel everyone's pain here. Its been about two months for me and I really felt bad today. I think it has to do with the holidays. the city is lit up. Couples are hand in hand. I am walking around alone with a book in the cold weather... What cheers me up oddly is to think that I grew as a person by dating this girl. As sad as I am, I definitely learned alot about myself and am more in tune with the careless romantic in me. I'm going to be more careful with who I give myself to. I am a good find and I am just starting to see it that way. When I do, I start to feel REAL bad for her because she screwed up royally by dumping me. if she took a moment to see me she would have known how caring I was, and how I would have stuck with her through anything. I believe she dumped me because she thought I was going to leave and she was too tied up in herself. Though, its also my fault for giving her the impression that I would leave. We all have something to learn for our experiences. In most cases its a communication problem. Really focus on communication before you commit to another. Be happy that you learned about life and it will make you feel more fulfilled in your old age. This makes us all stronger. Dont deny someone who would really appreciate you because you are too self centered for not getting the person you want. Cheer up because you have truly amzing qualities to be appreciated. Focus on them and not on the past tense.
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