slamma19 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 It's been about a month and a half since my boyfriend broke up with me. We were together for a year and 3 months. We had an amazing, happy relationship, but near the end of I had become quite attached and nagging and had definitely started to push him away. His reason to end it was that we had grown apart and he wasn't feeling the same anymore. I wasn't either, but since breaking up and I have really realized how I much I love him. I have already done the begging and pleading him to take me back, we've done 2 weeks of no contact and now are trying to be friends, but it's more limited contact because he's super busy (another reason why I know a relationship wouldn't work right now). But I've accepted the break up and know that we need time apart to grow and learn as individuals. In about a month he's going to South Africa for a month. I feel like after he gets home from his trip, if we were to to start over or try again with a clean slate, our relationship would be better than ever. I have already began to improve myself, and I think he has noticed. I still have really strong feelings for him, but I have no idea where he stands, so I really want to let him know how I feel before his trip so that he doesn't totally forget about me and maybe considers it while he's gone. Would this be a bad idea? We had such a great relationship, and we had planned a future together. Although I don't know if it would last forever this time around, I don't see the harm in trying again.
alwayshoping Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 You should try one last time although tbh if he loved you half as much wouldn't he be begging and pleading for you to take him back? Tell him if thats what you want but kinda sounds like he already knows how you feel? Good luck x
rebeccajones Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Maybe you should wait until he comes back from Africa. Let him go, let him miss you? Work on yourself, feel better, then let him know how you want it to work and how much he means to you.
Author slamma19 Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 I couldn't take it anymore so I told him last night how I feel, only to find out that there are 2 girls that like him, and he likes one of them "to an extent." (What does that even mean?) He said he's not going to pursue her and has told her that he can't have a relationship right now because he just got out of one, is leaving for a month, and has to get his life figured out first. (First... what comes after that?) We decided to not talk for the next couple months, or until I'm over him. I know I need to heal and get over the past, but I still think that if we were to start over and try again it would work. But now that I know there's another girl in the picture, I'm so worried he's going to want to date her when he gets back from Africa. How do guys move on so fast? =( I just don't know what to do or how to feel. I don't know how I'm going to get through the holidays. =(
ARISthess Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I know its alot harder than it seems, but try and enjoy the holidays. Look at the good news, he's leaving. He won't be able to date her while he's in Africa, and who knows where she'll be at when he gets back (she 'kinda likes him', that doesn't mean she'll wait for him to get back). Work on yourself a bit and worry about him when he gets back. Take the month off to do some soul seaking, self critisizm and self improvement. When he gets back you'll be in a much better state of mind to talk to him.
Author slamma19 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Even though we've been broken up for almost 2 months, would this girl be considered a rebound? We were in love, and it just seems unbelievable that he moved on so quickly, whereas I can still say that I love him and can see us working out one day. He even took her as his date to a volleyball awards night... if we were still together I would have been his date =( He's just changed so much. I have such a hard time understanding change.
chucksbabygurl17 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 guys move on very quick they dont think about how you feel and what you want its only what they want so i think you should show him you dont need him show him you can live with out him in your life dont go begging him to come back let him come to you and sooner or later he is going to miss you and want to come back you need to show him you changed try to find somthing else that can get him off of your mind i know its hard bc i been with my bf for almost 3 years and we had our shares of fights and breakups but i never went back to him he came back to me give him time to think you dont know you have somthing good until its gone and he is going to realize he still loves you and you were the best thing in his world all i am saying is just figure yourself out and let him figure hisself out and in the end it will all work out and that other girl is just a cover up bc he wants to get over you but he cant do it when he is byhimself but that will pass very very quickly....
Nkognito Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 guys move on very quick they dont think about how you feel and what you want its only what they want. This is not always true. If you browse around the forums here, you will find MANY guys who have been kicked to the curb and cannot for the life of them know why. For the most part the relationship died in many departments. I would not keep in contact with him. Let the dust settle between the two of you and who knows, he might realized what he wants and come back and then you can start off slow.
Author slamma19 Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 Thank you all for your support. I deleted him from my phone and from facebook. This is going to be so hard, but I know it's for the best. There's just nothing else I can do at this point but move on.
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