How do you actually make a move on a woman?

[somedude81]

Bah, sex ed and a college level human sexuality class never taught me how to actually make a move on a woman.

 

Here's the situation, I'm with a girl in my apartment we're sitting on a couch maybe watching a movie, our bodies touching.

 

Please fill me in on what to do next.

 

Would a little alcohol for me and her help things along?

 

At this time, sex isn't a goal, I'd be fine with a little make out.

 

I have no idea if she likes me or not and we're not dating yet nor have we kissed.

[sumdude]

You put your arm around her and see how she responds. If she seems comfortable with it..look her in the eyes for a moment and just kiss her softly on the lips.

Edited November 19, 2010 by sumdude

[Green]

Just do it... KISS her... it will be easy once you break the physical barrier with that girl. If she came to your place at a minimum she knew you might try to kiss her and if you are respectful about it even if she decines she'll just be glad you are a gentlemen... SO GO FOR IT.

 

And yes have a drink or two with her.... DONT GET DRUNK just a buzz going... it will help. Just be like "lets have a drink" and try to drink something she likes... hopefuly vodka cranbery or just a beer. JUST DO IT MAN............ doooo it

[somedude81]

That's about what I was thinking.

 

Anyway to test the waters before the arm thing?

 

If either the arm around her or the kiss attempt fail, is it a sign to give up? What's the best way to respond?

 

If I do get rejected, my first instinct is to immediately take her home and delete her number. We're school buddies but if I get shot down in a physical advance, I don't want anything to do with her. Would I be over-reacting?

[Grobyc]

You get rejected and you stop contact? lolwut. Dude something like this is learned with experience. It's not really something to give advice on.

 

You just have to find out what works.

 

Like me, I don't care for that whole traditional movie and dinner bull****, never have. So If i hit it off with a girl, I'll just ask her if she wants to go out sometime, Maybe grab some food at my place, rent a movie and go for a walk to the park or if I had the money, Take her to my favorite coffee shop.

 

Its true that body language speaks louder then words. But, my general belief is if I can make her laugh and have a good time, I don't need a lot of body language.

 

There are a million ways to make a move dude, best way to find out what works for you, is just trying. I look at it like when I chose FL Studio to write my music in, I could have chose Ableton, Logic, REASON, Pro Tools, etc All great programs. But I had to find out what worked best for me, and what i was comfortable working in. I tried FL Studio and it just clicked and i was comfortable with it.

 

Same concept. Find what works for you. Whatever it may be, as long as it works it doesn't matter.

[Cracker Jack]

Whoa.

 

I don't think there's any way to test the waters, aside from talking to her and feeling her out in the moment. I think putting your arm around her is just one of those things you just have to do. Just go with the flow and try not to think about it too much. Btw, is she supposed to be coming to your apt one of these days? Hope so.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Cracker Jack

[somedude81]

Not sure how I missed this post.

Just do it... KISS her... it will be easy once you break the physical barrier with that girl.

Break the physical barrier? What do you mean by that?

If she came to your place at a minimum she knew you might try to kiss her and if you are respectful about it even if she decines she'll just be glad you are a gentlemen... SO GO FOR IT.

I don't know if she thinks that I'll try something. She seems somewhat naive to me. I don't want to totally shock her.

And yes have a drink or two with her.... DONT GET DRUNK just a buzz going... it will help. Just be like "lets have a drink" and try to drink something she likes... hopefuly vodka cranbery or just a beer. JUST DO IT MAN............ doooo it

Would the time of day matter? We're probably not going to have a drink at 2pm.

You get rejected and you stop contact? lolwut.

Why not? What's the point if staying in contact if she's not interested?

Dude something like this is learned with experience. It's not really something to give advice on.

 

You just have to find out what works.

I disagree. It's always best to gather tips and information first. That way I can avoid spectacularly failing.

Its true that body language speaks louder then words. But, my general belief is if I can make her laugh and have a good time, I don't need a lot of body language.

How is body language related?

There are a million ways to make a move dude, best way to find out what works for you, is just trying. I look at it like when I chose FL Studio to write my music in, I could have chose Ableton, Logic, REASON, Pro Tools, etc All great programs. But I had to find out what worked best for me, and what i was comfortable working in. I tried FL Studio and it just clicked and i was comfortable with it.

 

Same concept. Find what works for you. Whatever it may be, as long as it works it doesn't matter.

And how did you find out about FL Studio? Walk into a store and randomly pick up the box?

Whoa.

 

I don't think there's any way to test the waters, aside from talking to her and feeling her out in the moment. I think putting your arm around her is just one of those things you just have to do. Just go with the flow and try not to think about it too much. Btw, is she supposed to be coming to your apt one of these days? Hope so.

I brought her over Tuesday to hang out and play video games. At first she seemed nervous/apprehensive about coming to my place but she warmed up to it and we had fun.

 

At first she sat on my other couch but then we traded places. After I had gotten a snack I sat down next to her and she didn't seem to mind. I was constantly touching her and thought about putting my arm around her, but it felt like it was too much. I also was going to have to take her home and I didn't want to risk having an angry woman in my car. She was playing a game and I didn't want to make her die.

 

There's a very good chance that I'm going to bring her over this coming Tuesday for more game playing, but, it doesn't feel like the right situation to try something.

 

I wonder if bringing her over at night to watch a movie would be better.

[carhill]

School buddy comes to your place to hang out and play video games... OK..

 

Can you see a potential downside to asking her out on an official date? I can't. This presumes you feel differently about her company than you might if her gender were male and hanging out playing video games.

 

IMO, and this is based on making the mistake a fair amount in my younger years, I think it's disrespectful to bring a woman into your 'territory' under the guise of hanging out and playing video games or even watching a movie as 'buddies' (your words) and then making a 'move' on her. I've also had women do this to me and, perhaps contrary to conventional wisdom that a man will take any sex which come his way, felt disrespected; even more so when it's someone who's married (to someone else). I saw them as opportunists and it was then that I understood more fully how I appeared to some of the young ladies in years gone by.

 

So, ask her on a date; if accepted, be physically affectionate as you feel, which may or may not include kissing. If she turns away from a kiss but otherwise appears to enjoy your company, smile and try again later. Relationships and romance have points of progress and points of plateau. You will want to develop your own 'style' of how you promote and progress romance. When you meet someone compatible, it will flow, almost seamlessly.

 

Nothing wrong with inviting a lady over for a movie *after* you've been dating. Then, proximity on the sofa turns into something which often renders the movie finishing without an audience

[Cracker Jack]

Just curious, what games were you playing?

 

I think having her over at night for a movie sounds like a marvelous idea. I think the timing is better for you make a move then in comparison to when you guys are playing video games.

 

Since she was okay with coming to your house, I think that's a really good sign. If she really didn't feel comfortable, she'd have declined--that's why I feel as though the chances of her being okay with your physical advances is pretty high in this situation. I don't think you have anything to lose here. If you don't allow yourself to make a move on her, you'll just get even more pissed. True, if she rejected your advances, it would suck ass--but you don't want to go down without a worthy fight, my man.

 

Perhaps you would want to ask her out on a date, tho? I know you've unfortunately had the difficulty of a woman misinterpreting the hanging-out as "friends only", and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that crap again.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Cracker Jack

[thatsonlyme]

If you're not sure what she really wants try to be playful. be creative. She came over to your house, that's definitely a plus. Maybe she's naive, but she's definitely not stupid, right? Now maybe she really sees you only as her best buddy, and you don't want to ruin that do you?

try to steer conversation in sexual direction and see how she reacts. Use every opportunity to touch her and see her reaction. Smell her hair or something, but make it look natural, maybe play with her hair first.

Or you could just tease her, offer her something but when she reaches for it don't give it to her. Make her wrestle with you in order to get it, if you get physically very close you'll be able to feel the right moment. Maybe you've seen it in movies, when you're so close that your noses are almost touching, make a good eye contact and she may even kiss YOU! When you get there you'll definitely feel it, it's hard wired in your brain, trust me.

good luck.

[LittleTiger]

I agree with Carhill (again ).

 

I think it's inappropriate to make any move on a girl you have in your apartment on a 'friends' basis. It is disrespectful if she thinks you're just hanging out, playing games and sharing a few laughs and you start to 'move in' on her. It's also disrespectful to invite her around as a friend with the deliberate intention of 'making a move'.

 

Yuck!

 

If you're interested in her as more than a friend, ask her on a date. Instead of 'moving in' on her physically, while you're hanging out having fun, why not just tell her you're really enjoying her company and ask if she'd like to go out on a date with you.

 

That way, once you are on your date, it won't be inappropriate and she won't be surprised if you make a move.

 

You might also want to rethink your idea of cutting contact if she's not interested sexually. Most women are very good at friendship and having female friends can be really good for men, especially men who have a lot to learn about women.

[phineas]

It's a no-brainer for me.

 

women my age (pushing 40) do not go & "hang out" at a guys house to watch a movie when they know the guy is attracted to them & they aren't attracted to him.

 

How do they know i'm attracted to them? I tell them. I let them know in no uncertain terms that I do not want to be their friend, I want to date them.

 

I had a woman come to my house for dinner & a movie.

It was a date. She knew that.

When we sat down to watch the movie she put her legs across my lap.

She was in jeans.

 

I put my hands on her legs, rubbed them a little then when she shifted I put my hand on her inner thigh & commented on how toned it was. LOL!

 

The proceeded to climb up her leg until all I had to do was turn the corner to reach the promised land.

 

And that's when I frooze. This was my first real "dinner & a movie" date since separation & divorce.

 

I had my hand there for a good 5 mins. And couldn't move it the required inch. So I just went for the kiss.

DENIED!

 

Then my 75lb lab decided she was jealous & tried jumping on the couch.

She shifted positions & I got to rub her tight toned ass.

 

I went for under the shirt & got to just above her belly button before being blocked.

 

I didn't force it & afterword I got a short kiss good night.

 

I saw her 4 days later with her friends & got another kiss afterword.

 

If I wasn't such a pussy I might of gotten some action. She obviously wasn't offended because she saw me & kissed me again.

She still calls me & talks to me.

She came to my house because she wanted something to happen or at the least wanted me to try.

 

So I think i'm good.

[somedude81]

 

Can you see a potential downside to asking her out on an official date? I can't. This presumes you feel differently about her company than you might if her gender were male and hanging out playing video games.

I can't figure out where to actually take her for a real date.

 

Last week when I originally invited her out, we were going to go to the beach but she changed her mind so we settled on games at my apartment.

 

I was going to ask her out yesterday for this weekend, and I asked her what her plans were, but I didn't have any thing in mind to ask her to.

 

IMO, and this is based on making the mistake a fair amount in my younger years, I think it's disrespectful to bring a woman into your 'territory' under the guise of hanging out and playing video games or even watching a movie as 'buddies' (your words) and then making a 'move' on her.

I had the same thought as well. That's why I didn't really try anything. It's great that I finally got her into my home, but the reason is wrong.

 

I'm not trying to hide under the guise of hanging out, I just don't know any other way to get her here. We also genuinely had fun. She knows I'm interested in her, because I've told her a couple months ago, but I don't know if she's pushing that thought aside when I'm with her. So she's the one who's willingly going into a man's home, knowing that he likes her.

 

Would I be that out of line trying to make an advance?

 

For some reason, I think it would be more important trying to make a move while watching a movie than if she were playing a game.

Just curious, what games were you playing?

 

I think having her over at night for a movie sounds like a marvelous idea. I think the timing is better for you make a move then in comparison to when you guys are playing video games.

Resident Evil 4 (Wii) and God of War. She gets really into the games constantly trash talking. She mentioned that she wants to bring over Monster Hunter for next time.

 

So you think the movie thing is a better idea? I'm going to try and do that. I'll order some pizza and giver her some booze. To lower her inhibitions, not to get her drunk.

 

 

Since she was okay with coming to your house, I think that's a really good sign. If she really didn't feel comfortable, she'd have declined--that's why I feel as though the chances of her being okay with your physical advances is pretty high in this situation.

That's exactly how I feel. It's a big step getting her to come to my space by herself. It's actually the first time we did something off-campus, with nobody around.

 

I don't think you have anything to lose here. If you don't allow yourself to make a move on her, you'll just get even more pissed. True, if she rejected your advances, it would suck ass--but you don't want to go down without a worthy fight, my man. I know you've unfortunately had the difficulty of a woman misinterpreting the hanging-out as "friends only", and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that crap again.

Yeah I don't think I have anything to lose. I still don't consider her a friend and I hope the same goes for her. Heck we're not even friends on Facebook. So if things do go badly, thankfully none of us will lose a friend.

 

Right now I am confused on what pretense she interprets the hanging out. She knows I like her, and I've tried to ask her out before. I hope she's smart enough to realize that I'm still into her.

 

I'm almost tempted to tell her, "You know I still like you right? And I'm not hanging out with you, just as friends."

Try to steer conversation in sexual direction and see how she reacts.

What's the best way to do that?

 

Use every opportunity to touch her and see her reaction. Smell her hair or something, but make it look natural, maybe play with her hair first.

Or you could just tease her, offer her something but when she reaches for it don't give it to her. Make her wrestle with you in order to get it, if you get physically very close you'll be able to feel the right moment. Maybe you've seen it in movies, when you're so close that your noses are almost touching, make a good eye contact and she may even kiss YOU! When you get there you'll definitely feel it, it's hard wired in your brain, trust me.

good luck.

I touch her a lot when I'm with her. The only time she's reacted negatively was when we were in her dorm lobby sitting sprawled across on a couch. I sat down next to her and I was planning on moving her leg out of the the way, but I as soon as I put my hand on her leg (she was wearing jeans), I forgot that I wanted to move her After a few seconds she said, "Off" and I said, "Or what?" Then we had a flirty banter and she said she would beat me up.

 

I'll try keep away if the opportunity arises and the face thing if the mood seems right.

I agree with Carhill (again ).

 

I think it's inappropriate to make any move on a girl you have in your apartment on a 'friends' basis. It is disrespectful if she thinks you're just hanging out, playing games and sharing a few laughs and you start to 'move in' on her. It's also disrespectful to invite her around as a friend with the deliberate intention of 'making a move'.

 

Yuck!

So what's a date?

 

When ever I invite a girl to do something with me, my intention is never on a 'friends' basis. Do I have to explicitly make that clear beforehand?

 

 

If you're interested in her as more than a friend, ask her on a date. Instead of 'moving in' on her physically, while you're hanging out having fun, why not just tell her you're really enjoying her company and ask if she'd like to go out on a date with you.

 

That way, once you are on your date, it won't be inappropriate and she won't be surprised if you make a move.

 

You might also want to rethink your idea of cutting contact if she's not interested sexually. Most women are very good at friendship and having female friends can be really good for men, especially men who have a lot to learn about women.

I really can't think of any reason to stay in contact with her. I really like her a lot and I just feel really down after I say bye to her. I'm also upset at myself for not trying anything.

 

Being with her, is comparable to somebody giving me steak, but saying that I can only smell it. After repeatedly only being allowed to smell the steak, would you want them to just get rid of it, or just keep on smelling it?

It's a no-brainer for me.

 

women my age (pushing 40) do not go & "hang out" at a guys house to watch a movie when they know the guy is attracted to them & they aren't attracted to him.

She's only 21 so the mentality is obviously different.

 

How do they know i'm attracted to them? I tell them. I let them know in no uncertain terms that I do not want to be their friend, I want to date them.

How do you tell them?

Then my 75lb lab decided she was jealous & tried jumping on the couch.

She shifted positions & I got to rub her tight toned ass.

:eek:

 

I don't know what's creepier. That you rubbed your dogs ass. Or that you thought it was toned

[Green]

The physical barrier is a very important concept. I kinda made it up as an idea but its real. basicaly once you get to a point where you regularly HUG a girl for instance... its no longer scary or weird to hug a girl.... so if you KISS her that breaks the phsyical barrier and once you see she was cool with being kissed you will find it easy to progress into a make out or hand holding or other physical forms of affection. That is the physical barrier and you need to break it sooner then later by making an efort to KISS and TOUCH her.

[Grobyc]

Not sure how I missed this post.

 

Why not? What's the point if staying in contact if she's not interested?

 

New friend, I've been shot down, and hey guess what, I didn't leave empty handed, I got me a brand new friend.

 

I disagree. It's always best to gather tips and information first. That way I can avoid spectacularly failing.

 

I used to take tips and advice from people about this same topic until one I said "**** it, I'm just going to try it on my own" Trying and failing worked way better for me then it did by reading tips, because you learn from your mistakes.

 

How is body language related?

 

Like putting your arm around her, it shows that your have interest with out saying anything. Making a reach for her hand shows interest, without saying anything.

 

And how did you find out about FL Studio? Walk into a store and randomly pick up the box?

 

Not at all. Because there are so many programs to use, likewise many approaches and what to make a move on women, I tried several, and found out what was working best for me. What I could utilize in FL Studio over the others.

 

Same goes for making a move, you have to step outside of your comfort-zone. But Do what works for you. like some people said. Test the waters, like I tested several programs.

 

I brought her over Tuesday to hang out and play video games. At first she seemed nervous/apprehensive about coming to my place but she warmed up to it and we had fun.

 

At first she sat on my other couch but then we traded places. After I had gotten a snack I sat down next to her and she didn't seem to mind. I was constantly touching her and thought about putting my arm around her, but it felt like it was too much. I also was going to have to take her home and I didn't want to risk having an angry woman in my car. She was playing a game and I didn't want to make her die.

 

There's a very good chance that I'm going to bring her over this coming Tuesday for more game playing, but, it doesn't feel like the right situation to try something.

 

I wonder if bringing her over at night to watch a movie would be better.

 

If she likes games, oh man, get a two-player game. There is nothing more fun then when a girl is competitive with a game. Pushing each other, trash talking each other it makes for fun times.

 

If she likes movies change it up if you like. You're calling the shots.

[Cracker Jack]

Resident Evil 4 (Wii) and God of War. She gets really into the games constantly trash talking. She mentioned that she wants to bring over Monster Hunter for next time.

 

Haha, I love Resident Evil 4. That game always had me shouting. Especially against cheap ass Krauser. Which GoW were you playing? See, I think that's a good thing. She's having fun around you, and is already looking forward to coming over for more fun. I think this is a good thing.

 

So you think the movie thing is a better idea? I'm going to try and do that. I'll order some pizza and giver her some booze. To lower her inhibitions, not to get her drunk.

Yeah, I think that's the best opportunity (Even though most think it's bad) to get touchy feely with her. Do you think she would drink the booze, tho? There's always a chance she doesn't drink. Even still, that doesn't drastically change anything here. I think pizza and a movie is a fine idea.

 

Right now I am confused on what pretense she interprets the hanging out. She knows I like her, and I've tried to ask her out before. I hope she's smart enough to realize that I'm still into her.

This is the key right here. I mean, if she knows you like her, she couldn't have logically neglected this thought while hanging at your apt. I just don't see it. There's always the chance that subtle hints could easily go right by her, tho. If so, then maybe you should make it fully clear that you like her next time you're with her.

 

I know there's a chance that she might not consider it, but I think that'll help you in the long-run because you won't waste anymore time. If you want to have a bit more fun with her before telling her outright (If you even choose to go that route), then I understand. As long as you're prepared for any outcome, you'll be fine.

 

Really hoping your struggles come to an end with this girl.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Cracker Jack

[sweetjasmine]

I agree with Carhill (again ).

 

I think it's inappropriate to make any move on a girl you have in your apartment on a 'friends' basis. It is disrespectful if she thinks you're just hanging out, playing games and sharing a few laughs and you start to 'move in' on her. It's also disrespectful to invite her around as a friend with the deliberate intention of 'making a move'.

 

I agree, too. I think this is why she was nervous/apprehensive the first time. At that age/in college, it's not unusual to go hang out at a guy friend's place, just as friends, so she may have been worried you were trying to make a move when you invited her but then relaxed when you didn't try anything. I agree with carhill that asking her out on an actual date is probably a better idea.

[Banega100]

Alright man! Had this exact situation yesterday. On the sofa with some crap on TV (first date) and i say something funny, or she says something stupid and i laugh at her, and we both smile. So i go in and kiss her. Boom, we're cooking.

 

Now maybe its better to break the touch barrier first, for instance i crossed the road with her earlier and touched her back and stuff, and gave her a playful bumps and stuff.

 

But yeah, if you're on a first date, then this is what she's expecting. She wants to be kissed! No trick to it!!

[Banega100]

of course if you're her gay best friend, then kissing her is a no-no...

[luvnpain]

Agree with Carhill and sweetjasmine. I am curious about what happened before when you say you let her know you like her? Why didn't anything transpire then?

 

I just ask because her hesitant behavior when you last hung out would be weird if she went there with the mindset of spending time with someone she's into. It made it seem like maybe you'd expressed interest and she wanted friendship, and so she wasn't sure about hanging out because she didn't want an awkward situation.

 

I'm not trying to rain on your parade but nothing indicates from what you've written that she wants to be anything more than friends. Are there any indicators? I don't count the touching, because you noticed it because you like her. She may not have meant anything sexual by it. I hope I am wrong, but from what I've read in the past your ego is a little fragile and I don't think its a good idea to risk the rejection without good indications for success.

[Feelin Frisky]

This may sound "lame" to someone like Green who is so sure of himself he''l just go mug it up with anyone without even a knock-knock joke. But when I've been left alone with a girl I didn't know but kinda felt might want me to make a move, I'd find a way to get up close and face her. I extend my hand palm first facing her, fingers pointing toward the ceiling. If she responds with a "high five" it means it ain't happening. If she presses her palm against yours and you both just sort of look at the contrast between your hand and hers, the next step is to see if your fingers will inter-lock with hers. If she lets that happen, it means she's accepted you to a new small extent and that you should feel at ease from there forward in gently getting to know her. It doesn't mean carte Blanche to hold her hand right away in mixed company--just that you've done something non-verbal to find out if there's any potential there.

 

If she reacts negatively don't take it as a harsh rejection--this will tend to excuse her lack of tact and give her power she hasn't earned over you. Just tell her straight up that that was your signature form of handshake that you use to say hello and find out what time it is at the same time. If she's a bitch about it, consider it an expeditious way to find out and get over it. Believe me, I've done it several times and although not all of them held hands with me, all just seemed to know what to do and seemed at ease with the gesture rather than the harder process of forming words. OK, Green, now tell me how lame I am. (I'm more empathic than a knock a chick over the head with my club and drag her to my cave kinda guy. That comes after the soft touch gesture.)

[NoLongerSad]

First of all, you have to wait for the roofies to kick in.

[somedude81]

It's not unusual to go hang out at a guy friend's place, just as friends, so she may have been worried you were trying to make a move when you invited her

I just ask because her hesitant behavior when you last hung out would be weird if she went there with the mindset of spending time with someone she's into. It made it seem like maybe you'd expressed interest and she wanted friendship, and so she wasn't sure about hanging out because she didn't want an awkward situation.

I think both of you are right.

 

What confuses me is why she agreed to it if she was worried I would try to make a move and cause an awkward situation?

 

She's a smart girl so her coming home with me, shows me that she knows I like her, but she trusts me enough to know that I'm not going to try and take advantage.

 

So now that I look back, bringing her here, may have asked more questions than it answers.

 

My guess is that she's becoming more comfortable about being alone with me, which can only be a good thing right? Especially that she knows I'm into her. Which asks the question, why would a girl, willingly be alone with a guy who likes her?

 

If I try something, would she have a right be mad or surprised?

Same goes for making a move, you have to step outside of your comfort-zone. But Do what works for you. like some people said. Test the waters, like I tested several programs.

And that's what it really comes down to. Trying new things. That will be the first step.

She's having fun around you, and is already looking forward to coming over for more fun. I think this is a good thing.

I just don't want her to think that it's friends only fun. If she does reject me, I'm done with her. I just don't want her to think I'm a jerk for ending our "friendship" because I can't be with her.

 

Yeah, I think that's the best opportunity (Even though most think it's bad) to get touchy feely with her. Do you think she would drink the booze, tho? There's always a chance she doesn't drink. Even still, that doesn't drastically change anything here. I think pizza and a movie is a fine idea.

I've never heard her say anything against drinking except for the strong stuff. Doesn't really matter since I got some winecoolers or I'd make mixed drinks. I'm actually a wuss when it comes to alcohol so we'd have the same thing

This is the key right here. I mean, if she knows you like her, she couldn't have logically neglected this thought while hanging at your apt. I just don't see it. There's always the chance that subtle hints could easily go right by her, tho. If so, then maybe you should make it fully clear that you like her next time you're with her.

 

I know there's a chance that she might not consider it, but I think that'll help you in the long-run because you won't waste anymore time. If you want to have a bit more fun with her before telling her outright (If you even choose to go that route), then I understand. As long as you're prepared for any outcome, you'll be fine.

 

Really hoping your struggles come to an end with this girl.

I really hope that she doesn't logically neglect the thought that I'm into her.

 

I have considered talking to her about our situation but something tells me that I might have slightly higher odds of success by trying to make a move first instead of telling her of my interests.

 

I've already got the whole day planned out, I just need her to come over and not want to leave early. Sadly something always goes wrong so I won't be surprised if things get messed up.

Alright man! Had this exact situation yesterday. On the sofa with some crap on TV (first date) and i say something funny, or she says something stupid and i laugh at her, and we both smile. So i go in and kiss her. Boom, we're cooking.

 

Now maybe its better to break the touch barrier first, for instance i crossed the road with her earlier and touched her back and stuff, and gave her a playful bumps and stuff.

 

But yeah, if you're on a first date, then this is what she's expecting. She wants to be kissed! No trick to it!!

I don't know what constitutes a date. So I don't know what she's expecting.

 

I have already broken the touch barrier I just haven't done any intimate touching like holding her hand, putting my arm around her or touching her face.

 

Going for a kiss is something else entirely that I need to work my way up to.

[Banega100]

This may sound "lame" to someone like Green who is so sure of himself he''l just go mug it up with anyone without even a knock-knock joke. But when I've been left alone with a girl I didn't know but kinda felt might want me to make a move, I'd find a way to get up close and face her. I extend my hand palm first facing her, fingers pointing toward the ceiling. If she responds with a "high five" it means it ain't happening. If she presses her palm against yours and you both just sort of look at the contrast between your hand and hers, the next step is to see if your fingers will inter-lock with hers. If she lets that happen, it means she's accepted you to a new small extent and that you should feel at ease from there forward in gently getting to know her. It doesn't mean carte Blanche to hold her hand right away in mixed company--just that you've done something non-verbal to find out if there's any potential there.

 

If she reacts negatively don't take it as a harsh rejection--this will tend to excuse her lack of tact and give her power she hasn't earned over you. Just tell her straight up that that was your signature form of handshake that you use to say hello and find out what time it is at the same time. If she's a bitch about it, consider it an expeditious way to find out and get over it. Believe me, I've done it several times and although not all of them held hands with me, all just seemed to know what to do and seemed at ease with the gesture rather than the harder process of forming words. OK, Green, now tell me how lame I am. (I'm more empathic than a knock a chick over the head with my club and drag her to my cave kinda guy. That comes after the soft touch gesture.)

 

Nah, that's pretty cool man. My date last night did a version of this. Measuring her hands against mine. It's a class act.

 

You could say something like 'wow, small hand alert' or something silly and fun like that, and see what happens. Just don't over think it man. It'l flow naturally and if it doesn't then it will next time with an even better girl.

[Feelin Frisky]

Nah, that's pretty cool man. My date last night did a version of this. Measuring her hands against mine. It's a class act.

 

You could say something like 'wow, small hand alert' or something silly and fun like that, and see what happens. Just don't over think it man. It'l flow naturally and if it doesn't then it will next time with an even better girl.

Exactly. You got it.

 

It's a way to break the physical ice with several outs to take if it proves uncomortable. You could say she has nice hands or what a contrast there is between hers and yours or any such small talk thing. But the chance exists to see if the fingers can go interlaced between each other before they are withdrawn which indicates a respetiveness to one's familiarity with her. I don't recommend doing it though if a person is shaking like a leaf and blushing--that would unnerve both parties even more. The objective is to defuse tension quickly but inoccuously. You're on the A team my friend.