Aflac2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Is it true that whenever a male and female are friends that at least one of them is attracted to the other? Somebody told me that awhile ago, and I'm thinking most of the time it might be true.
starryeyed12 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) Yes, I believe this is true. You are attracted to all of your friends, both male and female, for one reason or another. Opposite sex friendships are tricky, but worthwhile in the right situation. With my closer guy friends, there has always been some level of attraction. As we get to know each other more, if I am not interested romantically, I try and make it clear from the start that I only want to be friends. This starts off in subtle ways, but can get very blunt if need be. Even after setting the boundry, there still can be that feeling that crops up every once in a while where you get the sense someone wants more, even though they know one party said otherwise. This is where one person has to flex the discipline muscle and not go back on the boundries set forth if they don't feel something very special for that person. You can spoil a good friendship by giving in to a moment. On the other hand, it could blossom into more. That's why its tricky! Edited November 19, 2010 by starryeyed12
DreamerGirl27 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 No, I don't believe it's true or if it is, I haven't experienced it. A lot of my male friends have expressed interest in dating me and vice versa and there was no interest either on my part or theirs, but I also have friends that we just have never talked about. We are just friends and that is that. Neither the guy or the girl have said a word about it and these are men I have known for a LONG time. In fact, I even told a mutual friend of mine that I thought of him just as a brother and he told that same friend the EXACT SAME THING about me, BEFORE hearing what I had to say about him. He said "I view her more as a sister". So there's an example of a guy/girl relationship where neither party wants more. It is still that way to this day, I haven't seen him in a long time, he is now engaged and I am going to school and I like someone else. So, yes, I do believe it is impossible, however A LOT of times it is not. I am very attracted to a male friend of mine and he has stated he is not to me and it breaks my heart. But, I am too weak to end the friendship, 'cause I am still hoping he'll "come around" someday and it'll blossom into more. Selfish of me, I know, but I can't help it. I'm like, ridiculously attracted to this man. Anywho... No, I don't think it's impossible to be friends with the opposite sex without having attraction. Difficult. Yes. Impossible. No.
carhill Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 An interesting nuance of late is, when developing friendships with women, if one or both of us note signs of marked compatibility and/or chemistry, and one or both are unavailable for a relationship, one or both move to minimize or discontinue the continuity or development of the friendship. Pretty cool stuff. Yes, I have had plenty of female friends whom I had/have no attraction for or to. I have no clue from their side. I tend to take people at face value. The women who treat me well and are my friends are valued as such and loved as such. Most happen to be married. Perhaps it's unpopular or uncommon for a man to have such relationships but that's my datapoint. For myself, the clear dividing line is intimacy. Keep a firm boundary in place in that area and the rest takes care of itself. Feelings and attraction don't develop. I have no control over what others feel or do. Their boundaries are their own.
miracle252 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I think Male/Female friendships leading to attraction in most cases, especially, if both are single. It is nature and it is difficult to resist natural attraction.
Eeyore79 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I have gay friends of the opposite sex and, as you might expect, there's absolutely no attraction. Which is to say, there's no sexual attraction - obviously I'm attracted to their personalities, just as I am with same sex friends. With opposite sex heterosexual friends, it's less clear. I've had many friends who I wasn't attracted to, but can't say for sure that they weren't attracted to me. Maybe there's a superficial sort of attraction, but for one reason or another we would never date - maybe we're already married or taken, or maybe we're just incompatible despite this superficial attraction. There's one friend to whom I have a superficial attraction, but I'd never date him because he has kids, and another friend who I'm attracted to but wouldn't date because he's a man-slut.
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