wondergirl_6 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I'm Chinese and I'm dating this 32 years old British guy (in the UK) and I wonder if he's really interested, some opinions will be appreciated! So I met this guy on match.com, he answered my quiz there and left a brief message. We exchanged very brief emails for 5 times (10 emails together) before we met including those to schedule the meeting, all I knew before that was that he's a doctor. We met last Tue. at 2pm and that week he was off. He literally wore a suit with a tie (!!) and we went to a gallery as he suggested. He then suggested coffee, dinner and drinks after dinner, he walked me back home at 11pm. We obviously talked a lot during those 9 hours and the conversation was ok, I'm a talkative person so meeting strangers is never a problem for me. He told me his experience as a doctor and his family. We had a light hug and he kissed me on my cheek. Overall I found him a well-educated, polite and decent guy, not very humorous but fun enough to talk to, and not shy. The next day he texted me saying "nice chatting with you yesterday", I replied. Then the day after I texted him, and we texted a bit. The day after (Thu) he asked me out on this Tue. and I said ok. Then I didn't hear from him till I saw him again. So this time he kissed my cheek to greet me, we went to a cafe for lunch and coffee from 12pm to 6pm, both of us had to work that night. We talked more about our own family, background, jobs, etc. After he walked me to the station I asked if he wanted to watch a Chinese movie this Sat. and he said "absolutely". Again he kissed me on my cheek. No any physical contact other than that. What makes me feel weird is that he didn't have one compliment word, no "how is your day" text/call and showed no affection (I mean it doesn't have to be a kiss on the lips, people natually put their hand on my arm lightly when they're being affectionate but polite-things like that.) Yesterday I texted him to let him know where the cinema is, and he suggested dinner before the movie. I think I've made my effort to let him know I'm interested but how comes I just have this feeling that he's still being distant (but around) to give himself time to decide IF he likes me? Guys I met before had no problem to let me clearly know they have "romantic interests" on me if we made it to the 3rd date simply by a "hope you're doing well" text everyday or "you look nice" when we met. Someone told me to be more intimate next time myself but it's just weird! For example last time when we walked to the station he kept his hands in his pockets! And I know what a guy looks like when he wants to be intimate, his eyes will say everything but I just didn't read that in his eyes. Comments?
GooseChaser Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Maybe he's just taking it slow. I'm sure he's putting a lot of thought into how he feels. Part of it could be his culture or upbringing. It seems like he respects you, for one thing. He's asked you out for a third date, which is a good sign, so why not just have a good time and let things progress naturally? Stay positive! For the next date, which is dinner and a movie, you could try to make a few moves of your own: hold his hand, hug, smile, eye contact, be open, and things like that. Perhaps in time things will warm up! All you can do is wait and see!
welikeincrowds Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Well, you gotta give this guy a break. He's a British man (A) and he's wearing a suit and tie to his first date (B). (Full disclosure: I own a bespoke suit. I absolutely love everything about it and I think I look incredible in it. I still wouldn't wear it on a first date.) Also, these dates are really long. (9 hours?! For a first date!?!?! Good Lord.) He must be a slow loris. But clearly you are attracted enough to him if you've been willing thus far to be a slow loris yourself. Give him an earnest chance for this third date. It's a different pace for everyone, but I personally believe that the third date is the real make-or-break "chemistry" date. One thing I will say: he was smart to suggest dinner before the movie. If you're feeling him on the third date, and he hasn't made any moves, reach to hold his hand at some point on the way to the theatre. At that point it's clear that he's got to **** or get off the pot.
Author wondergirl_6 Posted November 19, 2010 Author Posted November 19, 2010 ^Thanks! But in fact I asked him out...for the 3rd date! He then suggested dinner before the movie as the movie is at 9pm. We have very similar family background (both our fathers are professors and our mothers are senior professionals) and I wonder if he's just like me who can't talk or do something "suggestively" or finds it too embarrassing to do so. I honestly don't know how to "make a move":< We didn't talk about past relationships at all and I wonder if he's also that kind of guy who has a relatively small "number" and doesn't really know how to approach girls, or he's just being cautious and slow;<
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