sagetalk Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 But am I being naive to think that there are actually people who decide to be together because they really enjoy each other's company even though they have better options? It is honestly the biggest fear I have for my future. It is a legitimate fear. Women and men both fall for the "hot" trap. With women it's usually "hot" behavior (rebel, confident, cocky, skilled with women), with men it's mostly "hot" looks. Both are terrible reasons to start a long term relationship. When looking for someone, find people who make you at peace or at ease when you are around them. If someone stresses you out when you are dating, imagine how bad it will be when you are married. The reason most girls lack "hot" is a little extra weight, which can be dropped fairly easily. The reason most guys lack "hot" is inexperience or lack of confidence, which can also be remedied easily. Cheating/abuse is a great reason to dump someone, a little extra weight or lack of confidence is a stupid one. I hope that helped.
ConstantCraving Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I realize that historically marriages were pure business agreements and even today it is still the norm. But am I being naive to think that there are actually people who decide to be together because they really enjoy each other's company even though they have better options? Sometimes I'm just worried that one day I'm gonna get into a 'business' marriage in which I'm in it because the girl is hot n she is in it because she wants someone to feed her and provides shelter for her. It is honestly the biggest fear I have for my future. This is a great question. I honestly can't see myself getting together with a woman I didn't find physically attractive FIRST. Only after the physical attraction do her character, personality, values, wants and desires become an issue. So I really can't complain that women rule me out on the basis of my financial or socio-economic status. For example, I once met a really attractive woman at a speed dating event who was really open and honest about her desire to have children one day. She wanted to build a secure nest for her future children. She wanted a "good provider". I don't want kids at all, so I really appreciate that kind of honesty, because it saves everyone alot of time and heartache in the long run. Even women who don't have kids or want kids still have that residual desire for a powerful high status man to protect them.
ConstantCraving Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I don't care if a guy is rich. I care if a guy is compatible with me. I can make my own money, and I do. I'd rather have sex with myself than close my eyes and pretend my rich older boyfriend is Nick Jonas. Nick Jonas isn't exactly "poor" or "low status" is he?
Author musemaj11 Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 (edited) Rofl. Fine line there; I wouldn't say that if I went out in clothes covered with grime and my hair teeming with maggots and the guy still liked me, he was a keeper... I would say that he was effing insane! Lol, ya thats exactly the same point I made about how we look in public. We dont necessarily have to wear sweatpants everywhere to get someone who will accept us the way we are. But we shouldnt go overboard in the way we portray ourselves to others. I understand where you're coming from here Elswyth, though I think there's a fine line here that could cross over into dishonesty. If I dated a guy who I thought was Mr Average in terms of wealth and then found out, after I'd fallen for him, that he was rich, I'd be a little concerned about trust. I'm a big believer in 100% honesty. It probably depends on how soon he disclosed his true financial status. But a rich man who pretends to appear average is understandable. Its a white lie. He is not exactly deceiving you for a negative purpose. Edited November 25, 2010 by musemaj11
Recommended Posts