Love2hateme Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Long story short. The woman I was with said I was too pushy and wanted to be friends. It's been about 2 1/2 months no contact. Would a card on her doorstep for her birthday be too much or considered creepy? Just a card. No gift. Or should I just email her a happy birthday note. What would you guys do?
maravilla Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 She said she wanted to be friends but you guys haven't been in contact? Did you try contacting her as friends? Or are you not interested in being friends?
Author Love2hateme Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 No contact, and to be honest I don't want to be her friend. I want more then that. I'll be "friendly", but I don't want to be her tissue.
Sarah1977 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Ignore her, then. She's not going to change her mind.
Author Love2hateme Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 You never know if she will or not. People change and I have changed. What I'm asking is, would a card on her doorstep (no knock, just a card that she notices on the step) be too much or creepy to you females. Would the fact that I came to her house and just left a card for her birthday be creepy?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Ask yourself these questions- " Why do I want to send her card? Is it because I can't forget her or let her go? What do I expect her reaction to be if I do send her card? Do I hope that she will find my gesture sweet that she'll reconsider dating me?"
O'Malley Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 What I'm asking is, would a card on her doorstep (no knock, just a card that she notices on the step) be too much or creepy to you females. She'll consider it strange and be annoyed by it, especially since she made it clear that she wasn't interested in you because she felt you were pushy. Sending her a card will only reinforce her current feelings about you -- which, by her lack of contact, indicates that she neither wants to date nor be friends with you. At this point in time, she has moved on and she is under the assumption that you have as well. Which undoubtedly is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Author Love2hateme Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 Papercut - Yes, that's why I would be doing it. O'Mailey - Straight forward answer. What about an email since a card would be too pushy? Just to kinda see what she says. You know, to see if she says anything more than thanks or anything at all. If she does then start off casual for a few chats and to see if she brings up the past. Or if she would like to go out. I really do like this gal and I'd like a second chance. If not, then I'd forget about her. It won't hurt my feelings anymore if she rejects me.
Sarah1977 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Any contact from you after I specifically told you I wasn't interested in dating you would be annoying to me. Nothing worse than a guy who can't take 'no' for an answer.
NoLongerSad Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Leave a sixpack on her doorstep with a funny (not romantic) birthday care, but not obscene. Like a Dilbert card or something like that. Just something that will make her laugh. Then in the card just write Happy Birthday and your name. If she wants to touch base with you, she will. If not, it's still a very cool gesture to get someone a six pack on their birthday.
mortensorchid Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 No, not worth it. You said yourself you're not interested in being friends with her. So don't do it. A gesture like that is nice, but ... Futile. You'll feel kind of stupid if she doesn't reciprocate in a positive way towards anything, and she'll find you a bit creepy if you haven't spoken to each other in months. Just move on.
Author Love2hateme Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 I kind of like that idea.
maravilla Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 You never know if she will or not. People change and I have changed. What I'm asking is, would a card on her doorstep (no knock, just a card that she notices on the step) be too much or creepy to you females. Would the fact that I came to her house and just left a card for her birthday be creepy? Ok, she only wants to be friends. If you don't want to be friends with her, don't contact her. Otherwise you are pushing her for more than she wants. I say stay away. Sorry but she told you where she stands, which is good and honest, and you can either take it or leave it, but hoping for more when she hasn't given you any indication of any change of heart will just hurt you and annoy her.
Author Love2hateme Posted November 19, 2010 Author Posted November 19, 2010 I'm going to try regardless of the outcome. I feel I need to give it another shot because I do really care for this woman. So I guess the question now is, what would be the best way to go about this? What would be the best way to "test the waters".
CLS63AMG Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 I'm going to try regardless of the outcome. I feel I need to give it another shot because I do really care for this woman. So I guess the question now is, what would be the best way to go about this? What would be the best way to "test the waters". You dont, you stay out of that sea and fish in another one. Dont be pushy, needy and so insecure next time or its all going to happen again. If you insist, send an e-mail but dont expect anything more than a quick "Thanks!" in reply.
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