neo261187 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Me and my Gf mutually broke up , because her past was bothering me a bit , and because I cannot find myself to trust and respect her. However, we both still are really very dependent on each other, and are not being able to handle it. Dont know what should be done in this regard. Suggestions welcome.
Palm Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 If you are very dependent on each other, I suggest cutting off contact with her. It's very difficult to do, and you will be causing her as well as yourself a lot of pain, but sometimes it is impossible to change without something drastic of the sort. If you can go two weeks without communicating, it will give you time to figure out your lives apart from each other and then you can decide what actions to take from there, such as trying to become friends or maybe even getting back together. If you do choose to go no contact though, make sure you make it clear that you guys are not to talk. Don't hint that maybe eventually you can try again, that will only hurt more if it gets to the point where you know you need to apart for good. End the dependency, be strong, deal with it (each of you) individually, then see where to go from there. Take it day by day.
brown03 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 I won't give you a suggestion that will help you get over her instead i'm going to attempt to help you.... OK I was with a girl the same thing her past bothered me a bit as well and because of it I was always afraid of putting all my trust in her and even thou I did respect her I hated her past and I hated thinking about it. But after awhile I thought of it and even thou she did stuff in the past shouldn't be a reason to punish her now. People are different people in the past have reasons to do stupid thing's maybe bad child hood, maybe a bad relationship.Who knows what could have happened and why they did the thing's they did. But just because someone was that way doesn't mean they will with you. When I met my gf I didn't like her life style but once she was with someone she loved and she was in a life that she was comfortable in she changed huge. And she probably hates her past as well and may even cry because of it. And by you not being with her because of it might even make that worse. People go through things in their life and when you love someone its them you love not the past because the past doesn't hold who a person is the present does. People can change everyday of their life but they cant change the thing's they did and probably hate everything they did just as much as you. I wouldn't worry about her past it means nothing to who she is today. If you guy's love each other which it seems like you do then just give her a chance cause you may lose her and realize that it wasn't such a big deal later when it's to late and you just gave up the love of your life. The past doesn't hold true to the future and she is no different then anyone else just made different stupid decisions and it could have been you and what would you think if someone treated you like that when you werent that person anymore?
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