ARandomGuy Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Hi all. New member here. I have a question. There's this girl I recently went out on a "coffee date" with. We're kind of friends and talk occasionally, but we've never hung out before. We also haven't known each other for more than a couple of months. We talked for about an hour and a half and I thought it went well. We made eye contact, hugged at the beginning and end, and there were no awkward pauses. She's very pretty (and really smart) and I would like to "date" her more, but I don't want to lose a potential good friend if she's not interested. I don't go out on dates often so I was surprised at how well we got along. Later on in the day, near nighttime, I sent her a text saying that I enjoyed talking with her and we should do this again sometime. When I got home after that I was bored so searched that phrase "we should do this again sometime" in google and according to a bunch of sources I read I just told her that I did not have a good time and have no interest in her at all. Is this true? Of course I meant it exactly as it sounds - I did enjoy going out for coffee and would really like to go out again. There's also the possibility that she just saw the meet up as one between two friends, but if I have an opportunity with her I'd like to pursue it. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you guys think. The reason I'm asking on here (which I found through a random search for 'dating forum') instead of with actual friends/family is because I'm really not sure what I want and don't want anyone to think I have a 'crush' or whatever on this person.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Um you do have a crush Look instead of googling and rehashing what you said, you show her that you're interested in her by asking her out again. Chances are if things do not work out, you can always be friends again provided that the two of you have no feelings for each other. If things do work out, then you should consistent with spending time with each other and keeping in touch.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Uhh...personally, when someone says to me, "we should do this again sometime," I assume they want to do it again sometime. Overanlaysis to. the. max. Just relax! Follow up with her in a few days and ask her out again.
maravilla Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I think that your text to her was just fine... very nice in fact. I don't understand how that phrase could mean anything else besides what it says. It sounds to me like you guys are hitting it off, congrats man and try not to over-analyze so much. (I do it too so I know that's easier said than done, but really from what I read in your thread, you are fine here!)
Author ARandomGuy Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention that went I sent the text, I also asked another question (nothing important) in it. She answered that question by texting me back right away, but didn't answer the "we should do something again sometime" part. I know this makes me sound like a jerk, but when I've liked in someone in the past I usually just go for it and forget about them if it doesn't work out. However, like I said, I still want to stay friends with her if she's not interested in me like that - so I need to find someway to get another "date", but to not make things awkward if she says no, and not to come off as only being interesting in 'getting involved'. You know what I'm saying? I may be over-analyzing my little message but I don't know how much she analyzes thing. Text is very impersonal and I hate communicating over it, but you know I don't want to call up and put pressure on her for the reasons I outlined in the last paragraph. Do I make any sense at all?
maravilla Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Yes, you make sense, even though yes, you are over-analyzing. She is probably just playing a little hard to get. If she wasn't interested in you at all I doubt she'd reply to the question you asked. She may have similar fears about how she comes across in texts and so hesitates to say anything. Don't give up, she is probably waiting for you to make the next move. So if you give up that's silly. Don't pressure her or bombard her but wait a couple days and call her up and ask her on a date! Good luck. You sound like a cool guy to me and I'm sure she's interested.
Author ARandomGuy Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 I've been thinking about this today and, thanks again for all the advice, but I think I'm just going to drop it. I don't think I want to risk losing her friendship over this. As long as "we should do this again sometime" isn't some rejection phrase, then I'm probably good.
Recommended Posts