It's Hard to Feel Motivated When You're Single/Celibate In College

[tman666]

Like I said, I honestly just don't feel much interest in "connecting emotionally" or "really getting to know" girls on a deep level (except for hipster and punk girls, but a lot of you here ragged on me when I asked about that) As for regular girls, I just can't make myself feel interest anymore.

 

I've had a few serious girlfriends, and I've had 2 one night stands and 2 friends with benefits. The one night stands and friends with benefits were so much more fun, exciting and satisfying that the serious girlfriends. It's so great to go all the way with a girl right off the bat without all the time and work and struggle of building a relationship and risking your emotions. I honestly believe it's the greatest thing in the world.

 

Do you understand what I mean?

 

I understand what you're saying, but I still disagree with your motives on multiple levels. That's besides the point though.

 

It sounds like what you're essentially getting at is "how do I get more one night stands and/or a f**k buddy?".

 

If that is what you're asking (which I think you are), then you're probably on the wrong site. Your best bet is to either join your university's basketball/football/lacrosse team (probably not an option) or hilariously try, probably failing and making an ass out of yourself in the process, to emulate Mr. Tucker Max. Even if you are successful, you'll probably end up with the dregs of the available options, if you know what I mean...

[Cracker Jack]

I understand where you're coming from, TC. The only difference with me is that I want to meet a woman and build something with her, instead of simply going for sex. I do understand your point, tho. I have days where I just want to have sex, too, but not as often. Sex and women in general seem out of reach for someone like me.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP has Asperger's. It would explain his apparent lack of empathy and inability to relate to other people.

[welikeincrowds]

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP has Asperger's. It would explain his apparent lack of empathy and inability to relate to other people.

 

I notice that you say this in every thread he's in.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he's just an elaborate troll, although he's just so consistent....

[Tim The Enchanter]

I notice that you say this in every thread he's in.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he's just an elaborate troll, although he's just so consistent....

 

It's hard not to press the buzzer when you think you know the answer. If he is trolling, he's very good.

[kiss_andmakeup]

You need to go to dive bars and likely lower your standards. The women that are going to be available to you with your attitude are most likely going to be the sluttiest of the slutty and cougars who are looking for the same thing. If you think that you can get away with getting into some nice, quality girl's panties without any emotional attachment, then you've either gotten the whole "player" thing down to a science (which you obviously do not), or you're kidding yourself about what your options are and what you truly deserve.

 

This is an excellent post. It's likely that, for what you want, your standards are too high.

 

Attractive, quality women who are looking for casual sex do exist, but they're very rare. And when they decide to pursue that desire, they're going to have the pick of pretty much any man they want. And considering it's just a fling, they're likely going to pick the most attractive, charismatic man available to them.

 

So let's assume that very attractive women make up approximately 5% of the single female population. Let's also assume that only 1 in 5 of those women (which is generous) is open to casual sex. You are now seeking out 1% of the single female population, and they have the pick of about 90-100% of the single male population.

 

I know this seems harsh but, are you that attractive or charismatic? More attractive or charismatic than 99% of your single male competitors?

 

Before my current relationship I had a couple of NSA flings. As far as looks go, I was extremely selective in the men I chose. Why? More like why not. When searching for a relationship partner I look for the whole package: intellect, personality, humour, ambition, chemistry, character, maturity, etc. So much so that physical looks don't really hold that much weight. But when it comes to "just sex" none of those other things really matter that much, since you're not going to have an emotional connection anyways.

 

So I guess what I'm saying is unless you're very very attractive, your standards for a casual sex partner are probably too high.

[Surrealist]

I know this seems harsh but, are you that attractive or charismatic? More attractive or charismatic than 99% of your single male competitors?

 

 

Not harsh at all. The guy needs a reality check, serious one at that. You're not getting laid brother and you put in more effort than most people I know, yet their getting vagina day and nite while you're sitting on the sidewalk sulking. Going by your lack of success speaks volumes about your attractiveness, which is obviously on the low level. As for charisma, if your posts are anything to go by, I would think you have the charisma of a bar of soap. Sorry dude but you really need to grow up, look to treat women with some degree of respect, or find some gutter trash slut who will screw you with no effort required to treat her like a person.

[U1987]

This is an excellent post. It's likely that, for what you want, your standards are too high.

 

Attractive, quality women who are looking for casual sex do exist, but they're very rare. And when they decide to pursue that desire, they're going to have the pick of pretty much any man they want. And considering it's just a fling, they're likely going to pick the most attractive, charismatic man available to them.

 

So let's assume that very attractive women make up approximately 5% of the single female population. Let's also assume that only 1 in 5 of those women (which is generous) is open to casual sex. You are now seeking out 1% of the single female population, and they have the pick of about 90-100% of the single male population.

 

I know this seems harsh but, are you that attractive or charismatic? More attractive or charismatic than 99% of your single male competitors?

 

Before my current relationship I had a couple of NSA flings. As far as looks go, I was extremely selective in the men I chose. Why? More like why not. When searching for a relationship partner I look for the whole package: intellect, personality, humour, ambition, chemistry, character, maturity, etc. So much so that physical looks don't really hold that much weight. But when it comes to "just sex" none of those other things really matter that much, since you're not going to have an emotional connection anyways.

 

So I guess what I'm saying is unless you're very very attractive, your standards for a casual sex partner are probably too high.

 

I'm not only going after the top 1% of women though. I know I'll probably never bag a supermodel, but I do expect to be physically attracted to a girl before I consider seeing her, and my standards are very broad.

 

I'm not looking for a specific height or race or hair color/length or fashion style or anything. I honestly would consider 25% - 33.3% of girls my age attractive. So what's it going to take?

 

It was just luck that the 4 girls I had ONS and FWB relationships with were open to that. How can I make it consistent? How can I repeat it?

[U1987]

What are you studying?

 

I study biomedical science.

 

I barely had time to oggle women on the street, much less date, at least near the end of my school career.

 

I'm concerned that your self-esteem is not strengthened by the inspiration that arises from what you're learning.

[tman666]

This is an excellent post. It's likely that, for what you want, your standards are too high.

 

Attractive, quality women who are looking for casual sex do exist, but they're very rare. And when they decide to pursue that desire, they're going to have the pick of pretty much any man they want. And considering it's just a fling, they're likely going to pick the most attractive, charismatic man available to them.

 

So let's assume that very attractive women make up approximately 5% of the single female population. Let's also assume that only 1 in 5 of those women (which is generous) is open to casual sex. You are now seeking out 1% of the single female population, and they have the pick of about 90-100% of the single male population.

 

I know this seems harsh but, are you that attractive or charismatic? More attractive or charismatic than 99% of your single male competitors?

 

Before my current relationship I had a couple of NSA flings. As far as looks go, I was extremely selective in the men I chose. Why? More like why not. When searching for a relationship partner I look for the whole package: intellect, personality, humour, ambition, chemistry, character, maturity, etc. So much so that physical looks don't really hold that much weight. But when it comes to "just sex" none of those other things really matter that much, since you're not going to have an emotional connection anyways.

 

So I guess what I'm saying is unless you're very very attractive, your standards for a casual sex partner are probably too high.

 

I think this should be stickied to address every thread like this.

 

Clarity, in less than 7 short paragraphs.

[sanskrit]

I think this should be stickied to address every thread like this.

 

Clarity, in less than 7 short paragraphs.

 

Yes, and it also needs to be stickied as a perma reply whenever women claim that judging promiscuous women in ways men aren't is a double standard, the post clarifies the exact difference between how men and women seek and obtain sex, and why claiming a double standard is ridiculous.

 

OP, work hard, save up, and make trips to Nevada. Go off campus in your socializing and look for older women, specifically divorcees who have already had children and aren't looking for marriage. A greater percentage of those will be interested in what you are looking for, though never assume one is just because she happens to be 30+ and divorced. One other thing, almost NO women, regardless of what they are looking for, will respond to a straight on request for sex. Even with the ones who just want sex, you will need to make a few courtship type overtures.

[D-Jam]

All I want is sex. That's all; 3 hours on a Thursday or Friday night with a girl I find attractive. I really, really don't believe that's too much to ask for. So why is it so hard to get it?

LOL...pay for it.

 

Only guys who can get "sex only" are the ones who are hot looking enough, wealthy enough, and/or exciting enough to prey on insecure pretty girls to lay them in the hopes he'll commit.

 

If you're an Average Joe with no real "game", then either go all the way and get a girlfriend, or hire a hooker, or invest in a Real Doll.

[tman666]

or invest in a Real Doll.

 

lulz...

 

He might as well start digging a dungeon pit in his basement to facilitate the making of his "woman suit".

[xpaperxcutx]

lulz...

 

He might as well start digging a dungeon pit in his basement to facilitate the making of his "woman suit".

 

Oh god, the image burns!

[TheBigQuestion]

Yes, and it also needs to be stickied as a perma reply whenever women claim that judging promiscuous women in ways men aren't is a double standard, the post clarifies the exact difference between how men and women seek and obtain sex, and why claiming a double standard is ridiculous.

 

 

I agree. When a woman chooses to have NSA sex, if she's reasonably attractive, it will likely be like the post you quoted. 95%+ of men simply do not have that type of pull. I'm really hard pressed to think that there's a genuine double standard when you take this into account.

 

Also, notice just how much venom is being directed at the OP by women over his desire for casual sex. I highly doubt anyone would respond to a woman making a similar post in this way. In fact, even though I don't agree with U1987's views about relationships at all, I really can't find a more blatant example of women being complete hypocrites on this board than this thread.

[welikeincrowds]

Also, notice just how much venom is being directed at the OP by women over his desire for casual sex. I highly doubt anyone would respond to a woman making a similar post in this way. In fact, even though I don't agree with U1987's views about relationships at all, I really can't find a more blatant example of women being complete hypocrites on this board than this thread.

 

Uh... clearly, you haven't seen his threads. He's been at this for months, and he's pigheaded about it. He doesn't listen to anyone's advice and he is indignant toward other posters when they don't tell him what he wants to hear; and we don't tell him what he wants to hear because what he wants to hear, obviously, isn't going to work. Of course, he refuses to acknowledge this, although I will admit that I have seem him put in at least minimal effort at times.

 

You know what I can't find a more blatant example of, than in this thread? People turning particular cases into a platform for arguing a gender issue. For ****'s sake, man. Get over it. This thread is about U1987 being hopelessly misguided and confused. That's it. We've tried to help him so many times. Hopefully something will get through to him. Don't try to transform this thread into your soapbox. It's disrespectful and it does nothing for your argument.

[deebeechrisyo]

Only guys who can get "sex only" are the ones who are hot looking enough, wealthy enough, and/or exciting enough to prey on insecure pretty girls to lay them in the hopes he'll commit.

 

Yep, you are exactly right. Basically only a select few of the most desirable men can live this lifestyle. I'm sure all of us been involved in one night stands before, but thinking about how you can live the next 10 years of your life with constant "sex-only" flings will leave you in dry spells as long as the Sahara Desert.

[TheBigQuestion]

Uh... clearly, you haven't seen his threads. He's been at this for months, and he's pigheaded about it. He doesn't listen to anyone's advice and he is indignant toward other posters when they don't tell him what he wants to hear; and we don't tell him what he wants to hear because what he wants to hear, obviously, isn't going to work. Of course, he refuses to acknowledge this, although I will admit that I have seem him put in at least minimal effort at times.

 

You know what I can't find a more blatant example of, than in this thread? People turning particular cases into a platform for arguing a gender issue. For ****'s sake, man. Get over it. This thread is about U1987 being hopelessly misguided and confused. That's it. We've tried to help him so many times. Hopefully something will get through to him. Don't try to transform this thread into your soapbox. It's disrespectful and it does nothing for your argument.

 

I have no soapbox. I really don't like associating myself with the posters on this board who DO have gender-driven agendas. I have no particular personal issues that are worthy of discussion right now, no need for advice or support. If I did, those are the topics about which I'd be posting. However, I will call people out on their BS when I read it, and it just so happens that this thread is full of it, regardless of how obnoxious the OP actually is.

[xpaperxcutx]

I agree. When a woman chooses to have NSA sex, if she's reasonably attractive, it will likely be like the post you quoted. 95%+ of men simply do not have that type of pull. I'm really hard pressed to think that there's a genuine double standard when you take this into account.

 

Also, notice just how much venom is being directed at the OP by women over his desire for casual sex. I highly doubt anyone would respond to a woman making a similar post in this way. In fact, even though I don't agree with U1987's views about relationships at all, I really can't find a more blatant example of women being complete hypocrites on this board than this thread.

 

I had an objection to the OP's attitude. Meeting people requires a decent amount of social interaction not feigned interest.

[sanskrit]

This thread is about U1987 being hopelessly misguided and confused.

 

The thread is about a college student who is seeking NSA sex. Nothing OP has stated is misguided or confused, he is simply asking how to get what he wants. He has the right to make threads, just as you do. If you don't like his threads, ignore them, simple.

[U1987]

Oceangirl can't help you haha. Unless she helped you with her body. Boy I bet you'd like that eh.

 

PM me if you want some real advice on women. Doubt you'd have the balls to quickly do what I tell you though.

 

It's not giving me the option to PM you. Do you have PM disabled maybe? It doesn't show up when I click on your name on the left or when I go to your profile.

[skydiveaddict]

All I want is sex. That's all; 3 hours on a Thursday or Friday night with a girl I find attractive. I really, really don't believe that's too much to ask for. So why is it so hard to get it?

 

 

Because that's bs. Anyone who has any self-respect or courage wants more in life than sex. Everyone wants someone to care about, and have someone care about them too. Those who say otherwise are, (like you) scared to admit it. Man up.

I'm really tired of pu$$ies like you coming on here complaining about your "problems"

Edited November 20, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[U1987]

Because that's bs. Anyone who has any self-respect or courage wants more in life than sex. Everyone wants someone to care about, and have someone care about them too. Those who say otherwise are, (like you) scared to admit it. Man up.

I'm really tired of pu$$ies like you coming on here complaining about your "problems"

 

The OTHER things I want from life don't come from a woman or anyone else. They can only come from me.

 

Eitherway, if you don't like what I have to say, then don't post here, because I know what I want and will not change my mind. A bunch of strangers on an internet forum can't rewire my brain and emotions.

 

I see that some people claim I've ignored advice; I've only ignored unjustified hate.

 

Don't post on my threads again.

[Star Gazer]

All I want is sex. That's all; 3 hours on a Thursday or Friday night with a girl I find attractive. I really, really don't believe that's too much to ask for. So why is it so hard to get it?

 

1. Celibacy is by choice.

2. Hire a hooker.

[U1987]

1. Celibacy is by choice.

2. Hire a hooker.

 

I've addressed this before.

 

Just answer me this.

 

Would you ever date a guy that's on the Sex Offender Registry?