Is being a confident plus size girl attractive anymore???

[buddy123]

Hi everyone

 

Is it really all about looks now? If you're a fun, confident and averagely attractive plus size girl it seems no one wants to date you!!!

 

Im finding it very hard to find someone that isnt just all about looks, and being shallow and only choosing perfectly thin girls....

 

please any guys out there tell me your thoughts because im starting to lose confidence in myself when meeting new men and i really dnt want that to happen.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I think you'd be surprised how many men prefer larger women.

[youbeauty]

No, its not. Personality counts for a lot if you ask me. Although, you have a point about the world becoming a very superficial place. But I can guarantee you that there are genuine people out there who want to get to know you for you. Its just a matter of patience and meeting the right guy will happen for you, don't worry. And I would much rather date a girl who is more fun than some model type who has no personality.

 

Have you tried online dating as an option?

[sfl]

Size and looks aside, not every guy likes confidence anyway you know (a certain amount is nice of course, but it really isn't a big deal at all)

[theBrokenMuse]

I'm not going to lie to you. It's hard. When you are big the guys who are only attracted to smaller women wouldn't p*** on you if you were on fire and there are many guys that are into bigger women who will be turned off by you having confidence as they are looking for a damaged women with poor self-esteem that will be easy prey for them. Thank goodness for dodging THAT bullet...

 

The good news is that with this body type you are all out avoiding the guys that are just looking for a woman to externally validate him as some type of trophy he can show off that has no real value to him outside of that. You also avoid some of the other bad personality types that you wouldn't want in the first place but can be hard for a woman to detect. So, in that sense you have a great advantage at finding a guy that will think you are great, not just your body.

Edited November 18, 2010 by theBrokenMuse

[sfl]

Not sure that's true as such, I went to a gig recently and the crowd of people I somehow got mixed up in through a friend were all trying to bed this one girl just because she was big (and therefore 'easy' apparently, they all found it hilarious), absolutely no other reason. I thought it was pretty pathetic and incredibly tasteless, but just a warning that being big doesn't automatically exclude you from being targeted by morons like them.

[theBrokenMuse]

Not sure that's true as such, I went to a gig recently and the crowd of people I somehow got mixed up in through a friend were all trying to bed this one girl just because she was big (and therefore 'easy' apparently, they all found it hilarious)

I covered that. " there are many guys that are into bigger women who will be turned off by you having confidence as they are looking for a damaged women with poor self-esteem that will be easy prey for them."

 

The let's find an insecure fatty to bang as a ONS because they are desperate and I won't get rejected because I am so much better than she is by default type of guys fall under that umbrella. Confidence is like cryptonite to those sleezeballs.

[Green]

Hi everyone

 

Is it really all about looks now? If you're a fun, confident and averagely attractive plus size girl it seems no one wants to date you!!!

 

Im finding it very hard to find someone that isnt just all about looks, and being shallow and only choosing perfectly thin girls....

 

please any guys out there tell me your thoughts because im starting to lose confidence in myself when meeting new men and i really dnt want that to happen.

 

I don't think "being a plus size girl" was ever considered "attractive."

 

Yes there I men who find "plus size girls" attractive enought to date/marry/fck.

 

Dating/Marriage have NEVER been all about looks. BUT YOU SHOULD and IT SHOULD be 100% about genuine attraction and for MOST if NOT ALL people LOOKS play a role into that.

 

I think you have a bad attitude if you want to call MEN who date thin women shallow. Its just as silly as saying any one who dates fat women is a chubby chaser. Tell me do you personaly find thinner women more attractive then women with EXTRA WEIGHT... EXTRA being the key phrase here?

 

You are not your weight. being "plus size" does not define who you are. I know its not as easy as just closing your mouth and hitting the gym. But if you're not already you need to make an effort at being healthy, loosing EXTRA wieght. Doing things as simple as ONLY drinking WATER and WALKING for 40 MINUTES in EXERCISE fashion 5 times a week would probably make you lose a lot.

 

Even if you never lose weight and stay "plus sized" I'm sure you will find a man. part of being a "confident" person is not feeling sorry for yourself (people sense that) and have hope (people sense that too) and FUN. (this is key)

 

The good news is that with this body type you are all out avoiding the guys that are just looking for a woman to externally validate him as some type of trophy he can show off that has no real value to him outside of that. You also avoid some of the other bad personality types that you wouldn't want in the first place but can be hard for a woman to detect. So, in that sense you have a great advantage at finding a guy that will think you are great, not just your body.

 

Being fat doesn't some how filter out some higher quality of guy even when combined with confidence you stand prey to all the guys who just think a relationship with a fat women is less effort. (and believe me this is the way they will talk around other guys)

 

Not sure that's true as such, I went to a gig recently and the crowd of people I somehow got mixed up in through a friend were all trying to bed this one girl just because she was big (and therefore 'easy' apparently, they all found it hilarious), absolutely no other reason. I thought it was pretty pathetic and incredibly tasteless, but just a warning that being big doesn't automatically exclude you from being targeted by morons like them.

 

I would say being big makes you more likely to be with a lower class more loserly needy lacking back bone type of guy. Just my experience on seeing the type of men who USUALY date bigger women.

[theBrokenMuse]

Being fat doesn't some how filter out some higher quality of guy even when combined with confidence you stand prey to all the guys who just think a relationship with a fat women is less effort. (and believe me this is the way they will talk around other guys)

I didn't say it filters out all crappy people, only that it filters out more than thin women have to deal with. Thin, beautiful women have to deal with a lot of disingenuous arsehats to the point where I don't know how some of these girls have managed not to become ultra paranoid or bitter.

[Green]

I didn't say it filters out all crappy people, only that it filters out more than thin women have to deal with. Thin, beautiful women have to deal with a lot of disingenuous arsehats to the point where I don't know how some of these girls have managed not to become ultra paranoid or bitter.

 

Fat women have always seemed more bitter to me. I think being thin can actualy filter out some men to (lower quality ones) and even if it attracts more of the wrong type of man it also attracts more of the right type of man and then its up to the girl to be attracted to whats best for her.

[theBrokenMuse]

Fat women have always seemed more bitter to me.

People who are on the bottom rung of societal acceptance and face lots of negativity towards them can often form a chip on their shoulder or drown themselves in self-loathing. It's unfortunate.

[theBrokenMuse]

I think being thin can actualy filter out some men to (lower quality ones)

Perhaps in terms of looks but I don't follow how so in terms of personality as the higher in demand something is, the more people are going to be after it. So, please expand on what you mean when you get the chance.

[Yvelysse]

I think you'd be surprised how many men prefer larger women.

 

I have found this to be true.

 

Most sites (on dating) state (no matter the females size) Confidence is number one.

 

The rest depends on HIS taste in the female who trips his light fantastique.

 

Good luck

[Philetus]

I used to be overweight. Not terribly, but enough that I was self-conscious about it. I certainly felt unattractive and I was starting to have small health problems relating to my inactivity.

 

So... about two years ago I went back to the gym and worked hard to get a body I felt good about.

 

When I see someone who is 'plus size', I don't find them attractive (male or female) but it has more to do with my perception of them being sedentary or not taking care of themselves. Even if that isn't the reality, it's how I view them.

[irc333]

I have found this to be true.

 

Most sites (on dating) state (no matter the females size) Confidence is number one.

 

The rest depends on HIS taste in the female who trips his light fantastique.

 

Good luck

 

Yeah, there had been some women that were kind of chunky that I thought were rather head turners in a sense.

 

Very thick, (some had some height to them, that helps distribute their weight)

 

Some wind up looking up having "enhanced" curves....typically, if the extra weight makes their boobs bigger and stick out further than their middle, and their butt "rounds out" in size equal to the boobs

 

And they keep their hair l ong...decent make up, and a great smile....(I thought about posting pictures....I had some on POF I'd liek to post...maybe, not sure)

 

 

But this is only true of women that are "a FEW extra pounds", and when I say FEW I mean FEW.

[OceanGirl]

Yeah, there had been some women that were kind of chunky that I thought were rather head turners in a sense.

 

Very thick, (some had some height to them, that helps distribute their weight)

 

Some wind up looking up having "enhanced" curves....typically, if the extra weight makes their boobs bigger and stick out further than their middle, and their butt "rounds out" in size equal to the boobs

 

And they keep their hair l ong...decent make up, and a great smile....(I thought about posting pictures....I had some on POF I'd liek to post...maybe, not sure)

 

 

But this is only true of women that are "a FEW extra pounds", and when I say FEW I mean FEW.

 

OK, post a picture I really want to know what's your idea of few extra pounds.

 

I guess I want to compare her to myself

[Green]

OK, post a picture I really want to know what's your idea of few extra pounds.

 

I guess I want to compare her to myself

 

Once you call the pounds "extra" that implies they shouldn't be there and the person would look better with out them. If some guy thought a woman looked better heavier I would advise him not to say "you look good with [a few extra pounds] " I would advise them to say "you look good" and if you must "your breasts (boobs) and butt look great" ... no need to say a "extra pounds" because like I said... if it looks good then it is not extra

[quankanne]

geez, thanks guys ... you're a real buzz-kill for heavier women.

 

I guess we just need to crawl back into our caves – you know, since we're too fat to waddle even – and hide our hideous selves from the rest of mankind. Because God only knows we could never attract decent men (personality- or looks-wise) because we're such losers, and we're better off being hidden away from society like a crazy aunt who is chained up in the basement.

[Green]

geez, thanks guys ... you're a real buzz-kill for heavier women.

 

I guess we just need to crawl back into our caves – you know, since we're too fat to waddle even – and hide our hideous selves from the rest of mankind. Because God only knows we could never attract decent men (personality- or looks-wise) because we're such losers, and we're better off being hidden away from society like a crazy aunt who is chained up in the basement.

 

arn't you married or some sht?

 

For the record I don't think being fat makes you a loser. Less attrative YES (sorry honest)

[Sarah1977]

Depends. Is plus sized code for morbidly obese? Because if you're morbidly obese, likely you'll need to start dating chubby chasers.

[quankanne]

arn't you married or some sht? that doesn't make me less fat, now does it? And to hear y'all go on and on about how horrific heavy people are just chaps my hide. But then again, it also makes me :laugh: because it shows an incredibly unattractive side of you Beautiful People ... O, the irony!

 

For the record I don't think being fat makes you a loser. Less attractive YES (sorry honest) Sorry, kiddo, but the vibes these kinds of posts send out DO make fat/heavier/overweight people feel like losers. Might not be your intention, you might be genuinely trying to help by suggesting that people do something to get healthy ... but because y'all don't know me, these things that come out of your mouths insult your target audience.

 

there, but for the grace of God, go I ...

[SteveC80]

Date short Men theyll be greatful just to have any women

[ColdFox]

I am a dance instructor and there are some very cute plus sized girls in some of my classes. They are confident and having fun dancing and have big generous curves, and I have seen boyfriends/husbands come to pick them up after class sometimes. One of my good friends is a plus sized woman and she just got married last year and is very happy.

[Green]

arn't you married or some sht? that doesn't make me less fat, now does it? And to hear y'all go on and on about how horrific heavy people are just chaps my hide. But then again, it also makes me :laugh: because it shows an incredibly unattractive side of you Beautiful People ... O, the irony!

 

For the record I don't think being fat makes you a loser. Less attractive YES (sorry honest) Sorry, kiddo, but the vibes these kinds of posts send out DO make fat/heavier/overweight people feel like losers. Might not be your intention, you might be genuinely trying to help by suggesting that people do something to get healthy ... but because y'all don't know me, these things that come out of your mouths insult your target audience.

 

there, but for the grace of God, go I ...

 

I think its unattractive to just date a fat woman because you like her personality even if you don't find her phsyicaly attractive. I don't think there is anything ugly about not being attracted to extra weight.

 

If overweight people feel like losers when hearing that people don't find them more attractive then thats on them not me for answering honestly. You knew what I was going to say before I ever said it. When you saw a thread with this question you knew there was a good chance some one would say "NO" I don't like plus size.

 

God would want you to treat your body like a temple (keep it clean make it last)

[thatsonlyme]

I know some + size women who're happily married or in relationships, so I guess it's all the matter of personal preference.

Some guys like big women, some don't. Some guys don't find skinny girls attractive because they want curves!

 

There are plenty of + size men out there, do you find them attractive? If not, that could be the source of your problem. If you're interested only in good looking guys, you have to be good looking. on the other hand, I know some skinny guys dating big women, every rule has exception.

 

I won't lie to you, looks DO matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

now a word about self confidence...

Personally I don't find overly confident women very attractive. In thousands of years of our evolution, men had a task of protecting women, and that's still hard wired in our brains. If woman is not willing to show her emotional side it's a big turn off, and many women now days have that "I don't need anyone" attitude.

For instance, I know that you can take your car to the shop and get it fixed on your own, but I prefer woman who would ask ME for advice about fixing her car! being 100% independent is good if you wanna be single and that's why most people are single now days. Women don't need man to bring paycheck home anymore, men don't need women to cook and clean anymore, everything is about casual sex, and that's it!