mea Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 A quick recap, went out with my ex for over 8 years we broke up 7 months ago and have spent the last 5 months nc. NC has been damm hard and in the beginnning I couldn't see how it could help but as many wise LS members before me, I am converted. Finally felt in the last couple weeks that I am stronger and that I will be ok. Then, today my ex emails me. Just when you least expect it, they come back into your life. The email was quite a cold, clinical email, telling me what he was up to but then also saying I probably knew what he was up to anyway because I still talk to his sisters. He asked about our cat, as he had had heard through his sister that I had recently moved and the cat wasn't that well and he offered to pay for the vet bills. He also told me he had some things of mine and asked where to send them, this is 7 months later he is asking this. I'm not sure what he wants, is it really abouto the cat and my stuff?? He has my parents address so he could of sent my stuff there, I have sent all the extra stuff I have found of his to his parents house and didn't contact him. With the cat, if something was seriously wrong I would tell him. I know it isn't a good thing I still keep in contact with his sisters but I never talk to them about him and us, they have both now moved overseas so my contact with them is limited. So, I don't want to break nc as I know I have come so far but then I also am not the type of person not to respond at all. Do I just answer his questions and leave it that??
PegNosePete Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 If you really want your stuff back then you should just send a cold reply telling him to drop it at your parents. If it's stuff that's easily replaced then just ignore it and stick to NC.
lapse Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Meh, the beauty of such an email - that seems cold but also shows concern (e.g., the cat and offering to pay for the bills) - is that he may be putting feelers out, but in the event he senses indifference, he saves face because the email was cold. Rather than trying to decipher his motive, though, I'd say you should do whatever makes you happy. If you want to open up communication again, send him a longer response than you would if you just want your stuff. Though, as Pete said, if you've gone this long without it, it may not be essential and you could just ignore it.
poorguy Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 He's looking for some type of response from you. Why in thw world you you contact an ex months later if you didn't have a motive. If it's going to bother you then don't respond. If you feel ok then talk to him but keep it casual
Kic Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Be polite, but brief. Maybe go out (or online) and try to meet new people to get rid of the temptation.
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