Crimson107 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 (edited) How can I be neglectful and smoothering at the same time. How do I get close to her if we live states apart (physically and emotionally) How do I treat her like everything when I never do enough How do I show her she beautiful with out her thinking I am just saying she is pretty How do I be aggressive without being violent How can I be confident when the situation has made me so insecure How do you chase someone that stands still To make her feel pursued without it turning into begging How do you stop acting depressed when you really are depressed... My kids play this game call opposite day and my marriage feels like that. She wanted to be separated but then seems so mad that I moved away... Maybe we didn't sever enough to get the break she needed? She says she wants someone to treat her like she the only one in the world and is the perfect woman for me and treat her like everything. Eventually I got to work to pay rent/mortgage/bills. I have been unemployed or underemloyed since Oct. I am fairly employed making double what I collected on unemployment. I got insurance back for me and the kids. Sadly still borrowing a car cause I can't get a loan or make some savings. I am trying to just make the best of things and she says I just make her feel worse. I don't know how I keep making the same mistake over and over again. I have great intentions but lack the ability to follow through for responsible reasons like keeping the lights on and food on the table for the kids. I feel so alone in a deep hole and I am calling up to her telling her I love her. I have tired to show I am not codependent but somehow I can't shake the stigma. It is a passive-aggressive trait that somehow betrays me into appearing manipulative? I am so confused. I wish I could say I don't care but I always do and it's somehow too much but not enough. Arggggg. My head is going to explode. There is no balance and the odds seem overwhelming. I don't know how to let go enough to let things recover. Edited November 18, 2010 by Crimson107
Woggle Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 It is a game you can't win so don't try to play. It will never be good enough.
2.50 a gallon Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Woggle called it right Your are playing her game by her rules and when you do get it right she will change the rules.
sirweasles Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I feel your pain your story sounds alot like mine. Right now i just want the pain to end let me ask you this do you constantly call her or text her through out the day and get upset when she doesnt respond or when she doesnt seem to have time for you. depression is very easy to hold onto when those you love are near however when they are not you start to feel as though you are going insane you have to initiate help I understand medical costs but you will never fix your marrage until you get help she has to beable to breath and being used as a crutch crushes the breath out currently I am fighting very hard not t call my wife and try to fix the problem becouse the problem is that she cant breath you have to be supportive you have to make yourself get motivated and you have to get yourself help did you know that when you fight so hard to make bills meet and to put food on the table and to raise your kids the last think you want is for your spouse to start throughing all his/her problems at you everybody needs support fix the depression so you can be her support.
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