DISASTER! The crap hits the fan!

[Pokemon]

Background:

 

I'm dating a married man, living separately from wife for 7 months now. I sleep over at the place he shared with her.. about 5 days a week. He split bank accounts and cuts her a check every month (almost half his pay). He gives me all the passwords to his emails, phone records, etc to prove he isn't speaking to her. If he's calling her from the office, I wouldn't know. They have a 2 year old girl and he sees her 2-3 times a month. I pay for 70% of our dinners, movies and such after his big pay cut to her. He just takes it all.

 

 

 

Here's what happened:

 

Christmas is coming and I told him I stopped pressuring him about my divorce, but coming back to my hometown is very important to me, and I would like him to see where I grew up. He bought a non-refundable plane ticket, $1500. It made me so happy!!

 

I was lazing at his place last night, when his counselor texted him. She informed him that his wife would be coming to the session tomorrow. I read the message out to him in the kitchen and he freaked out. He said, "why is she coming to my counseling? It must be a mistake, I will resolve it tomorrow."

 

I was thought it was weird, so I told him I will text the counselor right back. He said no, but I went ahead anyway and typed, "Why is she coming? Why would I ask her to come?"

 

He starts to sweat.

 

The counselor texted back, "If this is a mistake, I'll resolve it. I didn't ask her to come."

 

Then our conversation began. I asked him if it was MC, he said "no."

 

I said I wanted to be supportive of his difficult time, and if anything was wrong, just tell me the truth. I told him I won't leave, I just deserve to know the truth if he wanted me to stay.

 

He said, "I need a breath of fresh air, I can't talk about this now, I really can't talk. I love you very much." He grabbed his coat and went for a drive. It was 8pm.

 

I really think something is up. I'm not sure who asked who to go to MC again, but I packed up all my stuff and left at 12am. He went down to his buddy's place.

 

I don't know what is going on?

 

Then in the morning, I texted the counselor from my cell phone. I told her the exact same phrase I texted her on his cell phone, letting her know I was with him the night before. I told her on how he freaked out when she informed him his wife will be coming to the session. I told her to please have some pity on me, and let me know if they are going to MC. I also told her that I am very confused and am not sure if I'm the only one in the dark.

 

The counselor never texted me back, but I am sure she received mine.

 

I may not have done the right thing, but if he's deceiving me, don't I deserve to know? It's really not cool if I'm being screwed over and am the only one in the dark.

 

I booked my tickets and am leaving town tomorrow. He won't call or text back, and I know his pattern by now. He always runs away like a little boy who did something wrong. I should know, he ignored his wife for 1 whole month after telling her about me.

[fooled once]

Background:

 

I'm dating a married man, living separately from wife for 7 months now. I sleep over at the place he shared with her.. about 5 days a week. He split bank accounts and cuts her a check every month (almost half his pay). He gives me all the passwords to his emails, phone records, etc to prove he isn't speaking to her. If he's calling her from the office, I wouldn't know. They have a 2 year old girl and he sees her 2-3 times a month. I pay for 70% of our dinners, movies and such after his big pay cut to her. He just takes it all.

 

Here's what happened:

 

Christmas is coming and I told him I stopped pressuring him about my divorce, but coming back to my hometown is very important to me, and I would like him to see where I grew up. He bought a non-refundable plane ticket, $1500. It made me so happy!!

 

I was lazing at his place last night, when his counselor texted him. She informed him that his wife would be coming to the session tomorrow. I read the message out to him in the kitchen and he freaked out. He said, "why is she coming to my counseling? It must be a mistake, I will resolve it tomorrow."

 

I was thought it was weird, so I told him I will text the counselor right back. He said no, but I went ahead anyway and typed, "Why is she coming? Why would I ask her to come?"

 

He starts to sweat.

 

The counselor texted back, "If this is a mistake, I'll resolve it. I didn't ask her to come."

 

Then our conversation began. I asked him if it was MC, he said "no."

 

I said I wanted to be supportive of his difficult time, and if anything was wrong, just tell me the truth. I told him I won't leave, I just deserve to know the truth if he wanted me to stay.

 

He said, "I need a breath of fresh air, I can't talk about this now, I really can't talk. I love you very much." He grabbed his coat and went for a drive. It was 8pm.

 

I really think something is up. I'm not sure who asked who to go to MC again, but I packed up all my stuff and left at 12am. He went down to his buddy's place.

 

I don't know what is going on?

 

Then in the morning, I texted the counselor from my cell phone. I told her the exact same phrase I texted her on his cell phone, letting her know I was with him the night before. I told her on how he freaked out when she informed him his wife will be coming to the session. I told her to please have some pity on me, and let me know if they are going to MC. I also told her that I am very confused and am not sure if I'm the only one in the dark.

 

The counselor never texted me back, but I am sure she received mine.

 

I may not have done the right thing, but if he's deceiving me, don't I deserve to know? It's really not cool if I'm being screwed over and am the only one in the dark.

 

I booked my tickets and am leaving town tomorrow. He won't call or text back, and I know his pattern by now. He always runs away like a little boy who did something wrong. I should know, he ignored his wife for 1 whole month after telling her about me.

 

Yes, this has disaster written all over it.

 

I am stunned that you had the audacity to text HIS counselor. what gives you this right? You are not his wife - you are his mistress.

 

His payments to his wife are NONE of your business. NONE. Yet you gripe about it.

 

What happened to your previous posts about how he had until 10/31 to file (and he didn't)? You stated you were DONE with him if he didn't. Yet you aren't. And what happened to YOU going to counseling? Where is all that?

 

Honestly, you are in a mess and you are choosing to be in the mess. I think it has become a competition to you - you want to win this great guy the guy who doesn't see his daughter (and please, no more excuses of "his wife won't let him"). That is what the courts are for. If he wanted to see her more, he could. He is just choosing not to.

 

And he has moved his mistress right into the apartment he shared with his wife and you LOVE that. Yet, he won't allow you to move in full time. What does that tell you?

 

And then you chose to respond to a text from his counselor - without HIS permission. He chose to read a private text to him and then respond. And even FURTHER you texted her from YOUR phone thinking she should have pity on her clients mistress to tell YOU their private business? It is against the law for her to tell YOU anything.

 

And I bet you are back with him within in a week.

 

Why? Why do you not let go knowing full well he isn't letting go of his wife? That is the question you need to answer and work with a therapist on.

[woinlove]

Yes, it sounds like he is still married and might still reconcile. Or he might not. Probably too early to tell. But you almost certainly are not the only one in the dark. He almost certainly lies to his wife too. He may even lie to his counsellor. From what you describe, he doesn't seem like an open and honest person. Wouldn't your life be better without him?

[Pokemon]

He tells me that them not spending time together and that I have full access shows that he is indeed moving towards a divorce. He also tells me that his counselor is INDIvIDUAL. His wife supposedly goes to another counselor. Suddenly I realize they are gonna start it together with the counselor?

 

He also says he reminded his wife he's still seeing me, and that I live at their apartment now, and he says he told her that the last 3 times he saw her.

 

He also booked his ticket to see my parents? Go on vacation with me? What am I supposed to believe? I thought they were separated and just waiting to let it sink in before they file papers?

 

What the heck?

[endlessness]

he says... he says... he says... bleh

if I had a penny for all the crap that was coming out of my xMM's mouth...

 

Don't ask us, we don't know what is REALLY going on. What we do know is that you are somehow being deceived. But you know that too.

 

I suggest you start thinking and looking out for yourself. If things indeed "work out" for you two, is this really the kind of man want to put your full trust in a couple of years down the road after the passion is gone? This is what you know for sure from experience: (1) he is a cheater; (2) he is a liar; what makes you think that he reformed just because he met you? Clearly, current evidence shows to the contrary.

[fooled once]

He tells me that them not spending time together and that I have full access shows that he is indeed moving towards a divorce. He also tells me that his counselor is INDIvIDUAL. His wife supposedly goes to another counselor. Suddenly I realize they are gonna start it together with the counselor?

 

He also says he reminded his wife he's still seeing me, and that I live at their apartment now, and he says he told her that the last 3 times he saw her.

 

He also booked his ticket to see my parents? Go on vacation with me? What am I supposed to believe? I thought they were separated and just waiting to let it sink in before they file papers?

 

What the heck?

 

He says

He says

He says

 

Yet YOU chose to "live" at HIS apartment. Is that supposed to intimidate her? It is actually pretty classless and disgusting...not to mention disrespectful. But I am guessing you are feeling like "I WON I WON". It isn't a competition.

 

The fact that you need to read his texts, emails, etc shows that you don't trust him and you are insecure. I don't read my H's texts nor emails - never have. Never had a reason to.

 

When confronted, he ran from YOU. He ran away - most likely to his wife to talk to her. I don't believe for a second that she knows you live there -- because I thought he didn't talk to his wife? So how does she know?

 

Why don't you go back to your apartment and leave him be until HE makes the decision to leave/divorce? Why do you need to be involved and sleeping in the bed they shared? Why don't you honor your ultimateum about leaving since he never filed?

 

As for the ticket ... hon, that ticket is good for a YEAR. Anyone who flies knows that -- he will have a year from the date of issue to use it for another flight. My guess - he did it to hush you up. He was tired of the nagging and the pressure so he just bought it.

 

You best bet is to back off, IMHO. This man is NOT done with his marriage.

[desertIslandCactus]

He tells me that them not spending time together and that I have full access shows that he is indeed moving towards a divorce. He also tells me that his counselor is INDIvIDUAL. His wife supposedly goes to another counselor. Suddenly I realize they are gonna start it together with the counselor?

 

He also says he reminded his wife he's still seeing me, and that I live at their apartment now, and he says he told her that the last 3 times he saw her.

 

He also booked his ticket to see my parents? Go on vacation with me? What am I supposed to believe? I thought they were separated and just waiting to let it sink in before they file papers?

 

What the heck?

 

A Tug of War Pokeman .. and why on earth would you want to be on one end of it.

 

He is married and with a small child .. Just attaching oneself to a man, and weakening him with the temptation Still does not make him yours.

[whichwayisup]

You two don't belong together. Sorry but it's an unhealthy affair relationship you have going on with him. What you did was so out of line, you crossed the line and HE has every right to be pissed at you for texting back HIS therapist. You had no right to do that and text her again on your own cell. Did you expect her to text you back and fill in the gaps? Really?

 

Anyway, he is a dog for lying to both you and his wife. It's obvious he got busted and more than likely has been playing you for a fool, just like he's been doing to his wife as well.

 

BE GLAD he's run away like a scared little boy..Forget him and move on.

[blinded_27]

Damn. yeah sorry to say, it definitely sounds like that was his set up...

 

My MM fed me the same BS. Turns out he had been seeing her the entire time. My gut had been screaming at me that something was wrong... never ignore that feeling... it's ALWAYS right it seems!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh and the running away thing? Yeah, I had to deal with that too. It's incredibly frustrating.

[xpaperxcutx]

He tells me that them not spending time together and that I have full access shows that he is indeed moving towards a divorce. He also tells me that his counselor is INDIvIDUAL. His wife supposedly goes to another counselor. Suddenly I realize they are gonna start it together with the counselor?

 

He also says he reminded his wife he's still seeing me, and that I live at their apartment now, and he says he told her that the last 3 times he saw her.

 

He also booked his ticket to see my parents? Go on vacation with me? What am I supposed to believe? I thought they were separated and just waiting to let it sink in before they file papers?

 

What the heck?

 

I wouldn't trust him until I saw him sign those papers. If he has a history of lying, chances are he's doing it again.

[Pokemon]

He says

 

But I am guessing you are feeling like "I WON I WON". It isn't a competition.

 

When confronted, he ran from YOU. He ran away - most likely to his wife to talk to her. I don't believe for a second that she knows you live there -- because I thought he didn't talk to his wife? So how does she know?

 

Why don't you go back to your apartment and leave him be until HE makes the decision to leave/divorce?

As for the ticket ... hon, that ticket is good for a YEAR. Anyone who flies knows that -- he will have a year from the date of issue to use it for another flight. My guess - he did it to hush you up. He was tired of the nagging and the pressure so he just bought it.

 

You best bet is to back off, IMHO. This man is NOT done with his marriage.

 

 

I don't know why you think, that I think it's a competition. I never thought it was. I keep asking him if he wants to work it out with his wife, just let me know. He always confirms that he wants to be with me, gives me all his freaking passwords, so I'm confused.

 

Second, he doesn't have phone conversations with his wife. But he sees the kid 2 times a month. The last 3 times he picked up the kid from her, he told me he reminded her I was living in the apartment and we were still going out. She supposedly made sarcastic comments after that, like, "I will do everything in my power and fight you in court so your girlfriend never sees my child!" Now I think they were lies and he never told her anything, but I will never be able to confirm.

 

Third, I DID leave. I packed up all my **** and moved out after waiting 4 hours in the apartment for him. A communication break down in a relationship is a dead end, married or not.

 

Fourth, I didn't expect a response from the counselor when I texted her from my cell today. I just wanted to her to know he was seeing me as I regurgitated the exact phrase I texted her on his cell phone the night before. She texted him back several times after that (I checked his cell phone records), so I know she got it and confronted him. Not sure if he lied to the counselor too, but I'm sure they can figure it out by themselves now.

 

Fifth, I texted her because I knew it will be over once I do that. He can be pissed / ashamed, whatever, I don't care. He can go fix up the mess with them; I don't want to deal with this whole mind screw anymore.

 

Sixth, it is a ticket on a japanese airline, so pretty much the only places he can go is Asia or India. Good luck with that.

 

Seventh, I bought myself a ticket to San Diego today. I'm there until I come back to pack my bags and leave for Asia for the holidays!!

[Carrot2000]

I don't know why you think, that I think it's a competition. I never thought it was. I keep asking him if he wants to work it out with his wife, just let me know. He always confirms that he wants to be with me, gives me all his freaking passwords, so I'm confused.

A man is not going to tell you "Yes, I want to work things out with my wife" no matter how many times you ask him. He'll just go home, giving you no warning whatsoever; he'll tell you he wants to work on his marriage as he's walking out the door. Just because he says he wants to be with you doesn't mean a thing, especially since he has not filed for divorce. In the future, always judge a person by their actions, not their words.

Second, he doesn't have phone conversations with his wife. But he sees the kid 2 times a month. The last 3 times he picked up the kid from her, he told me he reminded her I was living in the apartment and we were still going out. She supposedly made sarcastic comments after that, like, "I will do everything in my power and fight you in court so your girlfriend never sees my child!" Now I think they were lies and he never told her anything, but I will never be able to confirm.

 

That's exactly what they were: lies.

Third, I DID leave. I packed up all my **** and moved out after waiting 4 hours in the apartment for him. A communication break down in a relationship is a dead end, married or not.

 

Fourth, I didn't expect a response from the counselor when I texted her from my cell today. I just wanted to her to know he was seeing me as I regurgitated the exact phrase I texted her on his cell phone the night before. She texted him back several times after that (I checked his cell phone records), so I know she got it and confronted him. Not sure if he lied to the counselor too, but I'm sure they can figure it out by themselves now.

 

I doubt his counselor "confronted" him. If anything, she texted him to let him know of your contact and assured him that she did not divulge any information to you. Clients lie to counselors all the time; it comes with the territory.

 

Fifth, I texted her because I knew it will be over once I do that. He can be pissed / ashamed, whatever, I don't care. He can go fix up the mess with them; I don't want to deal with this whole mind screw anymore.

 

If you wanted to end things, you would've just ended things. You texted his counselor because you wanted someone to give you answers-- the truthful answers you can't get it from him.

 

Sixth, it is a ticket on a japanese airline, so pretty much the only places he can go is Asia or India. Good luck with that.

 

What's the loss of $1500 to him if you're paying for everything anyway? $1500 is a small price to pay to keep you hanging on while he bounces between you and his wife.

 

Seventh, I bought myself a ticket to San Diego today. I'm there until I come back to pack my bags and leave for Asia for the holidays!!

Good for you! I hope you stick with your resolve to end this relationship.

[desertIslandCactus]

I don't know why you think, that I think it's a competition. I never thought it was. I keep asking him if he wants to work it out with his wife, just let me know. He always confirms that he wants to be with me, gives me all his freaking passwords, so I'm confused.

 

Second, he doesn't have phone conversations with his wife. But he sees the kid 2 times a month. The last 3 times he picked up the kid from her, he told me he reminded her I was living in the apartment and we were still going out. She supposedly made sarcastic comments after that, like, "I will do everything in my power and fight you in court so your girlfriend never sees my child!" Now I think they were lies and he never told her anything, but I will never be able to confirm.

 

Third, I DID leave. I packed up all my **** and moved out after waiting 4 hours in the apartment for him. A communication break down in a relationship is a dead end, married or not.

 

Fourth, I didn't expect a response from the counselor when I texted her from my cell today. I just wanted to her to know he was seeing me as I regurgitated the exact phrase I texted her on his cell phone the night before. She texted him back several times after that (I checked his cell phone records), so I know she got it and confronted him. Not sure if he lied to the counselor too, but I'm sure they can figure it out by themselves now.

 

Fifth, I texted her because I knew it will be over once I do that. He can be pissed / ashamed, whatever, I don't care. He can go fix up the mess with them; I don't want to deal with this whole mind screw anymore.

 

Sixth, it is a ticket on a japanese airline, so pretty much the only places he can go is Asia or India. Good luck with that.

 

Seventh, I bought myself a ticket to San Diego today. I'm there until I come back to pack my bags and leave for Asia for the holidays!!

 

In reference to texting the counselor to get answers.. Pokeman, you're not in the driver's seat .. A relationship with a married man is a relationship that you can either take it .. or leave it ..

 

Also, I think it's a mother's nightmare to have to share her young child with the husbands girlfriend.. And the term "the kid" has never been respectful of a child - not even if the natural parents use it.

[2sure]

I will put into words what you already KNOW. Now, these things are not what you are being told and will be told by MM - the difference being these are Facts:

 

A counselor seeing an individual would never contact another person and ask them to come to a session. That would be up to the individual to do. And the counselor of the individual would never be the go between.

 

A Marriage counselor, counseling a couple individually until they were ready to meet together would not arrange any such meeting unless BOTH indicated they were willing. In this case it sounds as though the request to attend counseling together was made by the MM and then accepted by his wife. If it had been his wife who requested the meeting - the counselor would have been texting her to confirm he would attend. Period.

 

You also know that the counselor is bound by professional ethics to not communicate to anyone else any information regarding his clients. The counselor will not even initiate any information about your text to the wife but will probably encourage the MM to privately.

 

Your MM freaked out and disappeared because he is covering his ass. His wife either has been told you are no longer part of the picture or that you are "just friends". I realize this seems far fetched for her to believe - but just think of the convincing he clearly had to do to get his wife to attend this session...this guy is an exceptional and motivated liar.

 

So he bought a plane ticket. That is not a commitment, its a purchase.

[Pokemon]

 

A Marriage counselor, counseling a couple individually until they were ready to meet together would not arrange any such meeting unless BOTH indicated they were willing. In this case it sounds as though the request to attend counseling together was made by the MM and then accepted by his wife. If it had been his wife who requested the meeting - the counselor would have been texting her to confirm he would attend. Period.

 

 

 

WOW. I didn't know that that is the MC works. But now that you put it this way, it really makes sense, and it really hurts that he lied right out to my face for months.

 

He kept telling me it was individual counseling and that his wife sees a different counselor.

 

Before he left, I even said, "Babe, I don't understand why your wife is communicating with your counselor so often but I don't think it's healthy."

 

I also said, "I know you want me to support you through this divorce and I am, but I need to understand why the counselor thinks you are both attending session. I can be here for you, but that does this mean?"

 

I can't believe I was totally clueless and had to be educated about how MC works on an online forum.

[thomasb]

I've never seen a doctor yet who schedules there own appointments. Any I ever seen use a receptionist. So this is strange indeed.

[maravilla]

Damn. yeah sorry to say, it definitely sounds like that was his set up...

 

My MM fed me the same BS. Turns out he had been seeing her the entire time. My gut had been screaming at me that something was wrong... never ignore that feeling... it's ALWAYS right it seems!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh and the running away thing? Yeah, I had to deal with that too. It's incredibly frustrating.

 

Yep, my xMM ran away whenever he didn't like what I had to say or whenever I called him on his BS. And this man was 50. It's like he didn't want to have to think about what he was doing.

 

What a baby. I am so glad I'm done with him and Pokemon I have no idea why you're sticking around for more of this crap.

[delirious]

Yep, my xMM ran away whenever he didn't like what I had to say or whenever I called him on his BS. And this man was 50. It's like he didn't want to have to think about what he was doing.

 

What a baby. I am so glad I'm done with him and Pokemon I have no idea why you're sticking around for more of this crap.

 

Not sticking up for him as he should obviously be straight with you, but is he keeping her sweet in order not to lose contact with his child??? Is he going along with the game, so as not to upset her but not actually wanting to reconcile? Obviously he has not told you because you would go ballistic. Just a thought. I would have thought he was playing a bit of a juggling act to see which balls fall where without too much skill.

[Pokemon]

You know what it feels like?

 

It feels as if I've dug up all my guts - my heart, intestines, the works, and left it out on the sidewalk to bake in the sun.

 

I'm now on my way to San Diego to see an old friend, but I feel like driving across the country. I want to go to Arizona and see the grand canyon, to Texas and Georgia and the Carolinas where I'm far away from anyone I know. I just want to go away until I feel better.

 

But I worry about the things that may happen to me traveling as a lone girl.

[maravilla]

You know what it feels like?

 

It feels as if I've dug up all my guts - my heart, intestines, the works, and left it out on the sidewalk to bake in the sun.

 

I'm now on my way to San Diego to see an old friend, but I feel like driving across the country. I want to go to Arizona and see the grand canyon, to Texas and Georgia and the Carolinas where I'm far away from anyone I know. I just want to go away until I feel better.

 

But I worry about the things that may happen to me traveling as a lone girl.

 

A lot of women travel alone, I have! There are whole books written by women who take solo adventures and write about it.

 

If you really feel the pull to do this and it will help you, then just do it.

 

I think being around your friends and family at this hard time might help you more though. Just based on my own experiences. Whatever you do, good for you for getting away from your MM, and stay strong.

 

ETA - I can totally relate to the part about the guts being dug out. I feel that way too.

[pureinheart]

You know what it feels like?

 

It feels as if I've dug up all my guts - my heart, intestines, the works, and left it out on the sidewalk to bake in the sun.

 

I'm now on my way to San Diego to see an old friend, but I feel like driving across the country. I want to go to Arizona and see the grand canyon, to Texas and Georgia and the Carolinas where I'm far away from anyone I know. I just want to go away until I feel better.

 

But I worry about the things that may happen to me traveling as a lone girl.

 

You got my prayers for your trip and all else...I am so sorry and what a shock this all is.

 

I have been there, you really think your life is going one way and the bammmm it all gets turned around.

 

I know for me it hurt worse after exDM left and then things didn't work out the way he said they were going to. He did get the D, although I feel he used our friendship to get "through" the D and never had any intentions of remarrying...which I can understand, but be honest...oh well, he wasn't, and that's where it stands. I would have been his friend anyway, the honesty would have been better, although I understand that also as we all are not so honest to get what we think we want at times.

 

The holidays will be difficult for us possibly? What do you think Pokemon?

 

Try to forgive him and move on. The unforgiveness will trap you in uncertainty.

 

For me, it was easy to hope his M would work and that I was wrong about it being over...would this make it easier to walk away...please Pokemon, walk away, you don't deserve this. ((((((((hugs))))))

[pureinheart]

A lot of women travel alone, I have! There are whole books written by women who take solo adventures and write about it.

 

If you really feel the pull to do this and it will help you, then just do it.

 

I think being around your friends and family at this hard time might help you more though. Just based on my own experiences. Whatever you do, good for you for getting away from your MM, and stay strong.

 

ETA - I can totally relate to the part about the guts being dug out. I feel that way too.

 

You have a lot of gutts Mara!!!!!!!

[jwi71]

I'm now on my way to San Diego to see an old friend, but I feel like driving across the country. I want to go to Arizona and see the grand canyon, to Texas and Georgia and the Carolinas where I'm far away from anyone I know. I just want to go away until I feel better.

 

Running away won't help.

Grieving is a process and its one every human knows - and one NECESSARY for healing and recovery.

 

And, since I live in Texas, I can say, without a doubt...you can skip it.

Ok...maybe the Alamo. Maybe.

 

You are better off at Carlsbad Cavern and the adjacent White Sands in New Mexico. Much better. So drive through Arizona for the Canyon, on to New Mexico for the Cavern, then swing north for Colorado. Skip Kansas - waaaaaay too flat.

 

But I worry about the things that may happen to me traveling as a lone girl.

 

Nothing will happen.

[Pokemon]

Holidays? Spending thanksgiving with my buddy, Christmas with my parents and bro.

 

The last time I had a break up around the holidays, my dad kicked some sick sense into me over Christmas. When I got back for the new year, that toxic ex bf was history. My dad has a way of getting me up on my feet so I'm not worried bout the holidays!

 

Thanks for the advice on traveling! I'll do that if I decide to rent a car from SD. I just worry about getting robbed or raped or murdered (like tv) in those shady motels / inns!

[KikiW]

Just play it safe (make references to "my boyfriend will get my bags for me", lock the doors as soon as you enter or leave your room, and never let your beverage out of your sight. Keep in contact with friends and family along the way ("Hey I'm in Tuscon! I should be in Flagstaff around 4pm!").

 

You'll be fine, and you will discover the joys of traveling alone. It can be incredibly peaceful and fulfilling