ginastar Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 4 mnths ago i was heartbroken by my bf of 8 years. he starts seeing someone else. finally, i meet someone im interested in. we see each other at gym, make flirty looks at each other one week, second wk he says hi and bye to me, next week he approaches me everynight and talks to me for like an hr each night. next week we go on a date and kiss. next time we hanging out in bed making out, talking, eventually we go down on each other. hang out one more time, same thing. we talk a few more times after that still flirty messages and then i see a complete loss of interest, starts to barely text me and conversations much shorter. now im curious if its cause we moved too quickly and he thinks im a whore? but i never slept with him.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 but i never slept with him we go down on each other Do you not see the irony?
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 haha i dont understand. are u saying, yes he thinks im a whore ?
John018 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 now im curious if its cause we moved too quickly and he thinks im a whore? I have no idea whether he thinks you're a slut or whore but I do think he's not interested in you if he's backing off. If I were you I'd chalk this one down to experience and move on. Sorry to hear you got your heart broken.
alexlakeman Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Typical female... "oral is not sex", "bj doesn't count on my #'s count", lol... I was on the opposite end a few weeks ago.. I went on a first date with someone, we hit it off, making out at the bar, more alcohol, another bar, ended up with some nice oral from her in the car=.....man it was awsome, but at the same time as she was going down on me I was like "Am I going to be bummed in the morning? If she's doing this with me on the first date, how many more "first dates" like this does she have on a regular basis?" Tough call, she ended up not communicating back with me after a few weeks, but I probably would've pursued a relationship, even though her slutty action the first night..LADIES, either way you can't win.. If you don't we complain and if you DO , we still complain, lol.. sorry...
Cobra_X Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 now im curious if its cause we moved too quickly and he thinks im a whore? but i never slept with him. Gina, No worries. I know your in a tough spot emotionally right now because of the breakup. This guy losing interest doesn't exactly make you feel good. In my opinion you did nothing wrong. He just isn't the guy for you. You want a man that sees how special and wonderful you are. Forget the fools that can't see that. You did nothing slutty.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 haha i dont understand. are u saying, yes he thinks im a whore ? Since he practically has had sex with you ( let's be honest it's called oral sex) he doesn't see a point in chasing anymore. And no, you're not a whore.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 its weird cause most guys seem to think its not that slutty ...but i would like more opinions of the males
TaraMaiden Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I second xpapercutx. He chased, he got you, you both got your kicks, and that's all it was to him. Forget this episode, and focus on what you think of you, what you want, what you will do to get it, and how it will make you feel when you do get it.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 oral sex is practically like havin sex ????
musemaj11 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 You went down on him, he went down on you. Its over. Its even.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 ok its even but im wondering if thats really what u think made him lose interest? its weird i thought guys lose interest after they **** a girl
Knittress Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 oral sex is practically like havin sex ???? I don't get people who make this distinction. Does it really matter which hole he sticks it in? Oral sex is sex. That's not a bad thing. Whether you're a 'whore' or not depends on who you're asking. It's nature for adults to have sex with other adults, and I don't see how the worth of your heart of your head has anything to do with your genitals. Some folks might disagree. Avoid those people. I don't know what the deal is with that guy, but I think it's sketch of you to automatically assume something negative about your sexuality. Maybe he hates your taste in music. Maybe it has nothing to do with you.
dispatch3d Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 He either met someone else or doesn't think you are that interested so stopped pursueing. IME it's about 95% chance its the second and probably a 5% chance for the first. Unless he's a player, then the second thing probably isn't true. For what its worth, pretty damn unlikely he's a true player. Players are more an image girls make up than anything real.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 thanks everyone. so most of you dont think its cause i let him move too fast sexually? and if hes a hard core player he would keep going until he slept with me i would assume?
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 thanks everyone. so most of you dont think its cause i let him move too fast sexually? and if hes a hard core player he would keep going until he slept with me i would assume?
sagetalk Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 its weird cause most guys seem to think its not that slutty ...but i would like more opinions of the males I'm a guy and it counts as sex and is slutty behavior with a guy you hardly even know. Just because a guy wants to get physical fast does not necessarily mean he likes you. It could be, he just likes sex.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 ohhh ok . so why did he persist on goin down on me if he was going to think its slutty? i only did it back to him cause he did it to me.
mortensorchid Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 He/she who has not rushed into sex too quickly can cast the first stone. But, don't think that you are bad because of this. It's a mistake we all make. Sorry that this happened to you, but, just chuck it up to an experience and say you'll know better next time.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 but i didnt have sex with him!
befreckled Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 but i didnt have sex with him! You did have oral sex instead of intercourse. Semantics if you ask me. In an absence of a relationship, the one key factor to hooking up/making out is the climax. He got off, and you got off. Even if it wasn't via intercourse. ...and if hes a hard core player he would keep going until he slept with me i would assume? I think not. The finale is over, he quite likely just found someone else or, isn't that interested in moving on to the next stage. Curious though, why would it bother you if he thinks you are a slut? Because you want to date this guy?
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 idk, i guess im curious if thats the real reason hes backing out. it was a nice distraction of the ex bf
elastica Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 but i didnt have sex with him! For many people oral sex is more intimate than having "just" sex. But anyway, having, or nor having sex does not guarantee that somebody will, or will not like you, and in what way will they think about you. It doesn't matter what he thinks, what you think about yourself is all that matters.
Author ginastar Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 well i dont feel lke a slut bc i didnt sleep with him and it wasnt even a one night hook up. i knew him for about two weeks even though we only hung out a few times alone. plus i just came out of relationship so its not like i go around suckin everyone off. i really hope this guy comes back for a little more fun though, cause like i said its the best way to move on from another guy
Mad Max Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Oral sex is sex. The key word being SEX. In the future, don't have sex until you're in a committed relationship. It will save you a lot of problems.
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