Rangerz Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 hey guys let me give you some background... so theres this girl that ive known for a year and a half now and i decided to ask her to be my girlfriend about a month ago. i asked her then because thats when i knew all i wanted to know about her before jumping in. well to my dismay i found out when i asked her that she was "talking" with this other guy before me and they were in fact dating for a little while. it came as a shock to me because i knew she had never had a boyfriend before.....i played it cool and said well let me know what you decide to do. days later she told me he had cheated on her and i consoled her and also reminded her that i still wanted a relationship with her. well much to my dismay again the girl tells me that she still has feelings for the guy and is staying in the relationship. so now im stuck as a friend and recently she indicated that she wanted to hangout. i have grown to hate her but at the same time still want to pursue a relationship....i think that i should move on and tell her that i dont want to speak to her anymore but am not sure if i should do that as i still believe i can be with this girl once the relationship falls apart. by the same token i dont want to be waiting around hurt and wasting my time waiting for this girl to become available.....what do i do now?!
tman666 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Read my reply to this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253662/ I figure it applies to this situation as well...
Author Rangerz Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 thanks tman, but your other reply didnt really help my plea. you see im not chasing this girl like the other guy is.....i waited for her to finally text me and she has done so twice already and both times ive been hardly available and have not set forth a time to hangout.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 thanks tman, but your other reply didnt really help my plea. you see im not chasing this girl like the other guy is.....i waited for her to finally text me and she has done so twice already and both times ive been hardly available and have not set forth a time to hangout. No you're a step down. You waited for the girl. The only person that's condoning this behaviour is you. If you like being the backup you should help her put your number on her speeddial.
windows Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Let her go. You can't keep waiting around for someone who: still has feelings for the guy and is staying in the relationship. The friendzone isn't worth it - its her loss and even if you do wait around, it still doesn't mean she will return her feelings to you after she's finished with this idiot.
tman666 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 thanks tman, but your other reply didnt really help my plea. you see im not chasing this girl like the other guy is.....i waited for her to finally text me and she has done so twice already and both times ive been hardly available and have not set forth a time to hangout. Son, I am disappoint. The fact that you're waiting for her means that you're quickly approaching the situation I described in my last paragraph of my post in the thread I linked. Waiting for her, platonic hanging out, etc. while she's still involved with this other guy is running towards emotional tampon territory. Now, if you're waiting patiently to take advantage of any potential weak moments of hers as a window to "hit it and quit it", then that's an entirely different situation. If you have feelings for her though and expect to get a foot in the door by waiting around, you'll be disappointed.
John018 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 .what do i do now?! Date other women. She may become available to you some time in the future but don't bank on it. If she does come round then you can decide what you want. But don't put your life on hold.
Yamaha Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 i think that i should move on and tell her that i dont want to speak to her anymore Ding,Ding,Ding....We have a winner;)
Author Rangerz Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 lol...okay thanks for the input guys most of it was rather helpful....ive yet to have an answer as to whether or not i should completely tell her that i want to break off communication or just date other women while still being her friend? in my case ive timed everything ive done well but i just got screwed, im not chasing her now, nor will i, but i know that in the future she may try to start something after she finishes with this random guy and i dont know if i should shut that door closed...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 lol...okay thanks for the input guys most of it was rather helpful....ive yet to have an answer as to whether or not i should completely tell her that i want to break off communication or just date other women while still being her friend? in my case ive timed everything ive done well but i just got screwed, im not chasing her now, nor will i, but i know that in the future she may try to start something after she finishes with this random guy and i dont know if i should shut that door closed... Everything else is superlative.
John018 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 .ive yet to have an answer as to whether or not i should completely tell her that i want to break off communication or just date other women while still being her friend? Don't break off communication entirely. But let her do the initiating from now on. Show her that you're mature enough to accept her decision with your ACTIONS by getting on with your life. Be friendly but don't be a male girlfriend - which means don't get involved in her life, her problems and all that bull****. Just be that cool guy who she may have once had a chance with but she blew it cos she was distracted by some douche bag. Definitely date other women.
Author Rangerz Posted November 18, 2010 Author Posted November 18, 2010 thanks a lot for the valuable input John, thats just what i'll do....only time will tell at this point...
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