Do women want relationships anymore or sex buddies?

[Mad Max]

I don't see women pursuing any other guys for sex or relationships either. Infact it has been proven several times by women on here that they won't go after a guy no matter what and would rather stay passive.

 

It's funny how some women like you say it's just me that is the problem You women won't pursue ANY guy for either sex or a relationship which proves my point. So obviously it's not just me.

 

 

I've been pursued. Explain that one.

[waynebrady]

I've been pursued. Explain that one.

 

Offcourse there are exceptions... Like once every million.

[Mad Max]

Offcourse there are exceptions... Like once every million.

 

 

Back on Earth in the year 2010, women approach men. It's reality.

[Citizen Erased]

I don't see women pursuing any other guys for sex or relationships either. Infact it has been proven several times by women on here that they won't go after a guy no matter what and would rather stay passive.

 

It's funny how some women like you say it's just me that is the problem You women won't pursue ANY guy for either sex or a relationship which proves my point. So obviously it's not just me.

 

You're talking to the girl that flew halfway around the world to do just that, pursue my now fiancé. I even paid for it.

 

Plenty of women pursue men. I can only come to the conclusion you think that way because no woman will pursue you. I wonder why.

[Chicago_Guy]

I wasn't implying that you were a wife beater or wanting to be the sole bread winner. I'm just saying women have higher standards than 60 years ago, and aren't getting in relationships as quick as before.

 

But women still need sex, so that's how they are getting it, through casual sex.

 

Well, the standards that women use for having sex are definitely lower than they would have been 60 years ago. Even if women allegedly have the "higher standards" for relationships, men probably also have higher standards for determining who is "marriage material" than they would have 60 years ago because they know that a lot of women sleep around.

 

Few men would seriously consider a promiscuous woman to be a good candidate for marriage. This is viewpoint is hard-wired into the male brain and isn't going to change anytime soon.

 

I don't know how old you are, but I do know many women who spent their mid-late-20s and their early 30s casually dating but whom are now jaded because they cannot find anyone who meets their standards who wants to marry them. I personally think that women who want to eventually get married should not waste their most attractive years dating casually dating the type of guys who wouldn't make good husbands.

 

I know that some women think that casually dating around for many years in their 20s-mid 30s somehow makes them more attractive to men because those women rationalize that "now I know what I want." However, women who do this are merely wasting their most fertile years.

[Surrealist]

I don't see women pursuing any other guys for sex or relationships either. Infact it has been proven several times by women on here that they won't go after a guy no matter what and would rather stay passive.

 

It's funny how some women like you say it's just me that is the problem You women won't pursue ANY guy for either sex or a relationship which proves my point. So obviously it's not just me.

 

Mate I've seen women pursue men, even here on this forum. Not sure why you're not seeing that, maybe you're not reading those threads. I have been pursued by women as well.

[waynebrady]

:lmao:

 

 

Why all the stigma against women who aren't afraid about wanting sex? I hear all the hate for loose women but never loose men.

 

I wouldn't have any stigma against them if they actually existed

[xpaperxcutx]

Because it's something that will never go away. Women can generally get sex whenever they want. They only need to put in a minimal effort, so giving it up easily and having sex outside of relationships is frowned upon.

 

I don't have sex outside outside of relationships and I expect the women I date to be the same. I hold myself to the exact same standard.

 

So because some women can get sex easier than men, hence men are bitter.

 

You forgot that most men nowadays don't want a relationship. The argument goes both ways.

 

I don't see women pursuing any other guys for sex or relationships either. Infact it has been proven several times by women on here that they won't go after a guy no matter what and would rather stay passive.

 

It's funny how some women like you say it's just me that is the problem You women won't pursue ANY guy for either sex or a relationship which proves my point. So obviously it's not just me.

 

I don't know where you've been but there are women who pursue.

[waynebrady]

You're talking to the girl that flew halfway around the world to do just that, pursue my now fiancé. I even paid for it.

 

Plenty of women pursue men. I can only come to the conclusion you think that way because no woman will pursue you. I wonder why.

 

No I think that way becuase that's what the majority of you women say on this forum and elsewhere. For every woman that says they have done the pursuing theres like 100 women who say they refuse to ever do the pursuing.

 

That I haven't been pursued by a woman yet(I'm still quite young) doesn't prove anything. Most men will never get pursued. Shure there are some men who have been but they are in the lucky minority.

[Mad Max]

So because some women can get sex easier than men, hence men are bitter.

 

You forgot that most men nowadays don't want a relationship. The argument goes both ways.

 

 

Women need to stop using bitterness as an excuse. That's not a valid excuse. Women getting sex easier than men is reality. There are exceptions, but they are rare. I also believe that more men want relationships than most are willing to admit. The argument goes both ways, but women getting sex easier doesn't make men bitter and most men not wanting relationships is bogus.

[EasyHeart]

Why all the stigma against women who aren't afraid about wanting sex? I hear all the hate for loose women but never loose men.

Then you aren't paying attention. This forum is full of posts by men complaining about and criticizing male "players".

 

I know feminists are trained to repeat cliches ad nauseum, and to avoid thinking or dealing with reality, but you really do have to make your BS at least partially true if you want anyone to believe it.

[xpaperxcutx]

Women need to stop using bitterness as an excuse. That's not a valid excuse. Women getting sex easier than men is reality. There are exceptions, but they are rare. I also believe that more men want relationships than most are willing to admit. The argument goes both ways, but women getting sex easier doesn't make men bitter and most men not wanting relationships is bogus.

 

 

I'm not using bitterness as an excuse, but that was the sense I got from your post. I agree that bitterness isn't a valid excuse, but I tend to think men like to build on it because they feel they'd been wronged too many times by the other gender. It's just unhealthy.

 

If there are women who can get sex easily, they certainly don't fluant it. For those who have been in FWBs, I've seen firsthand that they're more selective about who they sleep with. They certainly don't jump from men to men.

[hearttobreak]

For those who have been in FWBs, I've seen firsthand that they're more selective about who they sleep with. They certainly don't jump from men to men.

 

Not too sure about that. My ex jumped at the next guy who showed interest in her. Amazingly fast. While she is an attractive woman, the guy she jumped to is a player and is also doing other women. So, it's not how you think it will turn.

[hearttobreak]

I don't see women pursuing any other guys for sex or relationships either. Infact it has been proven several times by women on here that they won't go after a guy no matter what and would rather stay passive.

 

It's funny how some women like you say it's just me that is the problem You women won't pursue ANY guy for either sex or a relationship which proves my point. So obviously it's not just me.

 

I've been pursued countless times. Only once was the feeling mutual though. We see how that ended. LOL.

[xpaperxcutx]

Then you aren't paying attention. This forum is full of posts by men complaining about and criticizing male "players".

 

I know feminists are trained to repeat cliches ad nauseum, and to avoid thinking or dealing with reality, but you really do have to make your BS at least partially true if you want anyone to believe it.

 

Well I certainly am not one to throw around a label.

 

 

If women want to sleep around, who's to stop them? The same goes for a player. You can't force him to stop playing. The only thing one can really do is be more wary about the people one meets and be more selective.

 

But then again I can't even say that a guy should be more selective about the girls they meet because someone's probably going to counterargue and say women don't give them a chance.

[xpaperxcutx]

Not too sure about that. My ex jumped at the next guy who showed interest in her. Amazingly fast. While she is an attractive woman, the guy she jumped to is a player and is also doing other women. So, it's not how you think it will turn.

 

I didn't say I spoke for your ex. There are always exceptions.

[Mad Max]

I'm not using bitterness as an excuse, but that was the sense I got from your post. I agree that bitterness isn't a valid excuse, but I tend to think men like to build on it because they feel they'd been wronged too many times by the other gender. It's just unhealthy.

 

 

I have no reason to be bitter. I've been successful with women. But I am not an idealist. I am a realist and I look at reality. It's unhealthy to build on bitterness, but many females here don't help. Looking at responses such as "deal with it", "stop being bitter", etc; I have to laugh when people suggest that women are more empathetic than men.

 

 

If there are women who can get sex easily, they certainly don't fluant it. For those who have been in FWBs, I've seen firsthand that they're more selective about who they sleep with. They certainly don't jump from men to men.

 

 

Seperating love and sex is no better. Most don't flaunt it because that would be a pretty dumb thing to do. I don't respect people that are in FWBs, regardless of gender because that's basically saying to the other person "You're not good enough for a relationship, but I'll use your body for sex". I would never have an FWB because I would never trust her to sleep with only me.

[Woggle]

I find that in the dating world many women want what you don't want. If you are on one page then they try and stear you on to their page and when you are there they get bored. I once dated a hardened woman who said that love was crap and we agreed to a FWB thing. Next thing you know she falls in love and I have to do damn near get a restraining order against her.

 

Also women can do what they want but after my first marriage I advise any man to never commit to a woman that has a history of sleeping around and before any calls this a double standard I do say the same thing for men though I think men tend to be much better at making the transition from player to faithful husband. Once a woman gets into that sexually free mode she almost never goes back.

[Jannah]

Lots of women want a relationship, others it all depends..

[xpaperxcutx]

I have no reason to be bitter. I've been successful with women. But I am not an idealist. I am a realist and I look at reality. It's unhealthy to build on bitterness, but many females here don't help. Looking at responses such as "deal with it", "stop being bitter", etc; I have to laugh when people suggest that women are more empathetic than men.

 

I never said you were bitter. I said the arigument you presented portrayed mens' bitterness.

 

I won't speak for every women on this board, but I can say for my lackluster first post is that half these topics have been argued to death on LS. There's no point in writing a long essay about why certain women do these things when all you need to do is go to the search button on the top right.

 

Seperating love and sex is no better. Most don't flaunt it because that would be a pretty dumb thing to do. I don't respect people that are in FWBs, regardless of gender because that's basically saying to the other person "You're not good enough for a relationship, but I'll use your body for sex". I would never have an FWB because I would never trust her to sleep with only me.

 

 

So you're different. Can you train other people to be the same?

 

Not all FWBs are bad but not all FWBs are good. How would you categorize the ones who aren't in a relationship, yet still sleep with the men they are in the process they're dating? Would you call that NSA? I think the grey area mainly falls on how people tend to categorize these things.

[fishtaco]

Seperating love and sex is no better. Most don't flaunt it because that would be a pretty dumb thing to do. I don't respect people that are in FWBs, regardless of gender because that's basically saying to the other person "You're not good enough for a relationship, but I'll use your body for sex". I would never have an FWB because I would never trust her to sleep with only me.

 

Sometimes people base their relationship decisions on where they are in their own lives, if they are ready for the type of relationship the other person is asking for, as opposed to if the other person is good enough. Sometimes the other person is great, but there are compatibility issues or other logistic issues.

 

So to extend your thoughts, anyone that don't want to get married but are okay with staying in a serious relationship don't deserve your respect either. Obviously you're not good enough for marriage, I'll just use you as a pillow at night.

 

It's a big world. Different people want different things.

[Cobra_X]

So because some women can get sex easier than men, hence men are bitter.

You forgot that most men nowadays don't want a relationship. The argument goes both ways.

 

Men are inherently competitive. Fact is that if a woman has been with 100 other guys... it's going to be hard for me to feel like she is something special.

 

I want to scale Mt. Everest... few people can do that. I'm not going to get a thrill from walking up the local hill. Everybody else has done it already... whoopty doo.

 

FWB situations are no different.

 

Women need to stop using bitterness as an excuse. That's not a valid excuse. Women getting sex easier than men is reality. There are exceptions, but they are rare. I also believe that more men want relationships than most are willing to admit. The argument goes both ways, but women getting sex easier doesn't make men bitter and most men not wanting relationships is bogus.

 

Many of those men fall into the unattractive/doormat type category.

 

Also, bitter is not the correct term. Men tend to feel love through sex much more so than women. It's not surprising to see women not understanding masculine feelings towards sex. I think a term with a better fit is repulsed.

 

I have no reason to be bitter. I've been successful with women. But I am not an idealist. I am a realist and I look at reality. It's unhealthy to build on bitterness, but many females here don't help. Looking at responses such as "deal with it", "stop being bitter", etc; I have to laugh when people suggest that women are more empathetic than men.

Seperating love and sex is no better. Most don't flaunt it because that would be a pretty dumb thing to do. I don't respect people that are in FWBs, regardless of gender because that's basically saying to the other person "You're not good enough for a relationship, but I'll use your body for sex". I would never have an FWB because I would never trust her to sleep with only me.

 

Is there such a thing as exclusive FWB's?

 

Also... if a woman uses FWB situations because she does not like commitment or the effort required by relationships... wouldn't that make her poor relationship material down the road? Many things like that require experience to get good at. If your primary experience is an FWB situation... it would make sense to me that the person is less able to handle a serious relationship.

 

I have a lot of question marks regarding women who do this. In my experience women 35 and up with kids and a job... can do an FWB thing without being crazy. The younger the woman... the more it means she has emotional issues.

 

Men who do it, tend to lack empathy for others. I see them most often as guys with commitment and intimacy issues.

[sanskrit]

IME most women still want relationships. The problem is is that many expect to have FWBs and F-buddies right up to the moment they commit to the "relationship man," whom they still expect to court her, be assertive, pay for dates and give her special treatment... while they are sleeping with men who do none of those things. Men wake up to this eventually, and become cynical about courtship and relationships generally, as OP seems to be experiencing.

 

The special treatment of women in dating in the past stems from several cultural factors that do not exist any more. This has made traditional dating DOA for the most part other than internet dating, where if a man does not shell out money, the woman is likely to come here and make a thread about "cheap" men.

 

Another problem many men face is that so many women have a very warped sense of propriety and reasonableness. If he doesn't call by the specified time, annoys her in any way, rational or otherwise, sometimes the slightest faults, it's off to the FWB or F-buddy or to have a ONS. It doesn't take a man being on either side of this scenario too many times to build a sense of wariness, of being suspicious of being used one way or the other. Many women brush this off as being "bitter" when in actuality it's just common sense often gained from much experience.

 

Many women resent men who do the traditional relationship pursuit today, though few will admit it, and have more respect for the men whom they perceive don't "have to" put anything into dating and can get NSA sex from women. Have seen this so many times in my own experience and especially my best friends', as a woman comes over to give NSA sex and then makes fun of the men who are trying to "date" her. My friends have told me for years, "don't be the chump, don't date women, they don't respect you for it and are all sleeping with some guy like me anyway." Never got quite that cynical, but there is some truth in it.

 

Many women IME will withhold sex from the "relationship man" whom she sees as a good prospect, while being sexually impulsive and "easy" with other men whom she does not perceive as relationship potential. Have been a party to this on both sides as have all of my single male friends many times.

 

Finally, because people and relationships today are viewed by many of both genders as "video games" or "movies on demand," disposable and not worthy of any effort or emotional involvement lest one take the risk of getting hurt, the problem of relationships is exacerbated. People are treated as means rather than ends, and completely disposable and fungible more often than not today. Many men treat women as merely means for sex, and women treat men as means towards furthering an agenda or "life plan."

 

It's nearly impossible to tell through all the rationalizing which women bring self-control and sexual discretion to the table. Why should men be expected to carry out traditional male dating and courtship behaviors when women are not in this type of environment? Just "be a gentleman" is no longer reason enough.

Edited November 18, 2010 by sanskrit

[sagetalk]

Most women (MOST, not all) who enter into casual/FWB relationships are settling for scraps. They really like a guy, or just need some attention, and they just take what they can get while PRETENDING that's all they want.

 

Truth is, most women want more than a casual f***.

 

I would agree with this. It's a sad day to see all these FWB posts from girls on here.

 

FWB is probably the number one thing holding most 20's and 30's girl back from finding true happiness with men. Real men do not treat a woman they love like that, it's despicable.

[CLS63AMG]

I think FWB is getting confused. FWB is I come over, nail you and leave. You dont call me, text me or bother me at all. No cuddling - nothing. NO attachements whatsoever!

 

The OP was in a short term relationship and she went on and dated someone else. End of story. You couldnt close the deal!

 

FWB is sex and nothing else, not "friends", you dont go on dates, you usually dont even want to be seen in public together. Anything else is a relationship on one level or another, whether you or her is willing to admit it, is up to you guys to figure out.

 

The girl that posted "I get loved by my family and just seek sex from men" is a moron. You are dating two men, pick one or at least tell them you are being a skank so one of them can drop you for being an idiot.

 

Ive been in REAL ****buddy "flings" and another GF tried to start the same thing "not ready for a relationship", yet wanted to go on many dates, call me everyday, text me all day, hold onto me like the world was ending in public, make out constantly, hold my hands at restaurants over the table like we were newlyweds and have great sex.

 

In the midst I said, "so I guess we are going to be dating other people huh?" She started bawling her eyes out and flipped.

 

That is not FWB, its a STR waiting for you to turn it into a LTR and the time is ticking.

Edited November 18, 2010 by CLS63AMG