Silly_Girl Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Any cheater (already lying, obviously) who claims to not be having sex with their spouse is, IMO, just lying some more. Well, that's life. You can't always be right.
Silly_Girl Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 True, that. We see evidence of this on LS daily. "I can't believe he/she threw me under the bus after he/she said he/she loved me!" And the "I can't believe he/she broke our wedding vows, I never dreamt they'd cheat on me". No two people/relationships are the same. Fortunately!
Gwendolyn Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I found this on a website, interesting and relevant to the thread: Sorry it is long but I find this amazingly true. A predictable pattern: They push men for commitmentThey get what they wantThey lose interest in sexThey become attracted to someone elseThey start cheatingThey become angry and resentfulThey begin telling their partners that they need time apartThey blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages. I read this and instantly felt an awakening. Trouble is that the 'affair' hasn't ended and I find myself being drawn to the hubby again after two years.
Darth Vader Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I agree, amigo---but for the record, it works both ways. I was actually drawing from personal experience--and I'm a woman. I had a SO do that to me a few years back. He was actually resenting ME because he felt guilty about lying to me.......... I only used the cheating wife example to follow along with the hypothetical scenario created by the OP. "Just sayin'--it happens that way on both sides of the fence........ unfortunately. (oh, and may the Schwartz be with you........) It goes for women too, not just men. My Schwartz way larger than yours, of course!:p:lmao:
jennie-jennie Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Any cheater (already lying, obviously) who claims to not be having sex with their spouse is, IMO, just lying some more. You know what, I personally know you to be wrong, because my WS had no sex with me once he started up with his OW. He even went so far as to sleep on a mattress on the floor in the room adjacent to our bedroom.
East7 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 (edited) You know what, I personally know you to be wrong, because my WS had no sex with me once he started up with his OW. Each situation is different, but lack of sex at home can be explained by different reasons depending if the WS is a woman or a man : MW tend to be more sexually exclusive to their AP. Women need a strong emotionnal connection to want to have sex. MW feel sick at the very idea to be touched by their H. MMs have less problem to have sex with both OW/BS. Men are more "mechanical" but in the situation of an A they are more likely to satisfy their needs with OW so when they go home they don't necessarily feel sexual appetite. Edited November 18, 2010 by East7
jennie-jennie Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Okay - not any cheater then. However, it is also my opinion that this is the exception and certainly not the rule. But was your ex lying to you? You said you knew about all his affairs. Yes, he was lying to me. I didn't find out about this OW until half a year later. Some OW were ONS, some relationships went on longer. They were all hidden until after the fact.
jennie-jennie Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Each situation is different, but lack of sex at home can be explained by different reasons depending if the WS is a woman or a man : MW tend to be more sexually exclusive to their AP. Women need a strong emotionnal connection to want to have sex. MW feel sick at the very idea to be touched by their H. MMs have less problem to have sex with both OW/BS. Men are more "mechanical" but in the situation of an A they are more likely to satisfy their needs with OW so when they go home they don't necessarily feel sexual appetite. When it comes to men, I think it depends on if they bond emotionally or not with their OW. MM who bond on a deep emotional level with their OW are less likely to be continuing to be having sex with their BS.
Silly_Girl Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Each situation is different, but lack of sex at home can be explained by different reasons depending if the WS is a woman or a man : MW tend to be more sexually exclusive to their AP. Women need a strong emotionnal connection to want to have sex. MW feel sick at the very idea to be touched by their H. MMs have less problem to have sex with both OW/BS. Men are more "mechanical" but in the situation of an A they are more likely to satisfy their needs with OW so when they go home they don't necessarily feel sexual appetite. Either gender can be vulnerable to having sex with someone else if they've gone many years without sexual contact, or even a snog. And apparently, some cheaters find they have more marital sex during an affair, as they experience a heightened sex drive. That's the situation I find to be the most sad.
jennie-jennie Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Either gender can be vulnerable to having sex with someone else if they've gone many years without sexual contact, or even a snog. And apparently, some cheaters find they have more marital sex during an affair, as they experience a heightened sex drive. That's the situation I find to be the most sad. This is how it started out for my MM and I. We both had partners, and we both continued our sex life with them. Our sex drives were heightened, so the level of satisfaction of sex with our respective partners was increased. Then after a while my MM started having problems with ED, most likely caused of his feelings of guilt. Pretty quickly his issues with ED were resolved with me, but they continue with his wife to this day. My MM did continue to have sex once in a while with his wife for 3 1/2 years, although not very frequently. Then one day he stopped. His emotional bond with me had become too strong. I stopped having sex with my SO much sooner, after being with my MM for 1 1/2 years. I ended our relationship at that time. My SO had however been aware of my parallel relationship with my MM all the time, so no deception was involved from my side. When we reconnected, my MM and I, we were both long starved of sex and intimacy, since our respective partners did not match us in that respect. My MM and I are very compatible when it comes to sex and intimacy, which is one of the draws between us.
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