SoundTribe Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I have a friend, lets call him Jack. He has a "girlfriend" who we will call Jill. I quote girlfriend because she is only a girlfriend in name. In fact this is probably the saddest, most depressing "relationship" I have ever seen. As you may have guessed, Jack is madly in love with Jill. Jill doesn't really like Jack and I honestly think she is sadistic because she loves causing Jack pain. But it wasn't always that way. The relationship started out well but she cheated on him. Jack got mad but Jill decided she didn't care and issued an ultimatum: "If you don't like what I do, then leave." Jack is very submissive and decided to stay with her. Now things have gotten 100 times worse. It is probably a worst nightmare for anybody and I think anybody in their right mind would dump her. She not only dates other guys and tells him about it, but she brings them home and has sex with them in front of him. She even teases him about it while she is having sex in front of him. He is obviously upset by this but he is so attached to this girl he won't put his foot down. I worry about him a lot. I've tried to help him get out of this relationship but he keeps thinking it will eventually get better and it will stop. I don't think it will. I am going to show him the comments that this thread gets. Maybe it will knock some sense into him.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Are they married and legally binded? If not, I slap silly for not having a back bone to walk away from the abuse. Is he a masochist?
PegNosePete Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Maybe Jack got concussion falling down the hill, and the words "Get the f*ck out of my life" are no longer in his vocabulary? That's the only reason I can think that anyone would put up with that kind of abuse.
Citizen Erased Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Anyone that will stay after this: she brings them home and has sex with them in front of him. She even teases him about it while she is having sex in front of him. won't leave because of anything a few strangers on the internet say. Clearly she's crazy and he has issues far deeper within himself than this girl.
wicar1 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I have a friend, lets call him Jack. He has a "girlfriend" who we will call Jill. I quote girlfriend because she is only a girlfriend in name. In fact this is probably the saddest, most depressing "relationship" I have ever seen. As you may have guessed, Jack is madly in love with Jill. Jill doesn't really like Jack and I honestly think she is sadistic because she loves causing Jack pain. But it wasn't always that way. The relationship started out well but she cheated on him. Jack got mad but Jill decided she didn't care and issued an ultimatum: "If you don't like what I do, then leave." Jack is very submissive and decided to stay with her. Now things have gotten 100 times worse. It is probably a worst nightmare for anybody and I think anybody in their right mind would dump her. She not only dates other guys and tells him about it, but she brings them home and has sex with them in front of him. She even teases him about it while she is having sex in front of him. He is obviously upset by this but he is so attached to this girl he won't put his foot down. I worry about him a lot. I've tried to help him get out of this relationship but he keeps thinking it will eventually get better and it will stop. I don't think it will. I am going to show him the comments that this thread gets. Maybe it will knock some sense into him. Both your friend's are sick. They would be ex-friends of mine.
Bryanp Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 She is sadistic and he is masochistic. He needs to see a therapist desperately. Eventually I fear that your friend Jack will end up hurting himself when he finally comes to terms about what he is enduring. It is clear that she has no respect for him whatsoever. The very sad part is that he has no respect for himself. Jack - if you do not respect yourself then who will?
Autumn_Zephyr Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Sounds like he is a cuckold. I agree. But is this willing on his part or not? For some folks this is a fetish and seek these kinds of relationships. Is it healthy.....I have no idea.
reservoirdog1 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." You can be worried about your friend, but if the proof is right there in his face, and he chooses to be with her regardless, not much you can do about it.
paleblue Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Wake up bro. This girl you like so much, doesnt respect you or even like you.
lekker01234 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I think the problem is that he feels maybe that he can't get better then her. Sometimes guys feel as though they just need to be patient and ride the storm and then she will come to her senses. I would suggest highly that he starts to see other women and not tell her about it. I am almost certain that what she wants is for him to put his foot down or at least show her that he doesn't need her. He doesn't have to break up with her but if she is OK with messing around then he should be able to do it as well. Unfortunately her attitude is very childish and disrespectful to not only himself but to herself as well. Like I said, he needs to see other women without saying to her he is breaking up with her. That way he can feel as though he isn't losing her but he is also creating opportunites for if and when they do split. If he truly loves her then he needs to be able to understand that she is not looking for commitment as of yet. She isn't in that mindset. He can't chenge her or control her, he can only give himself options. Unfortunately this whole situation is not healthy but what I am offering as an alternative so that he can prove to her he doesn't need her and also a chance to maybe find new love. Shutting the door completely is not always the best way to do things.
NoLongerSad Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Soundtribe, or should I say "Jack": you should leave your gf.
Chi townD Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 okay, this story is WAY too out there. I smell a troll......
wicar1 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 okay, this story is WAY too out there. I smell a troll...... feel the same
eminembnja Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) I'm assuming he's not happy with this. Some people do, in fact, like that kind of thing and if they do then I don't begrudge them their lifestyle. If he's unhappy about it, maybe he is like the memento guy and keeps forgetting (like the concussion comment). In this case, you should probably tattoo something like "leave her, she is bad for you" on his forehead. Edit: and wrt the troll comment... I'm actually pretty sure I've read a very similar story before on a message board. But even if it's troll, I 100% believe that this situation is not only possible, but happens more often than we'd like. Edited November 19, 2010 by eminembnja
hART Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I'm pretty passive and masochistic like him, so I don't know if directly telling him really works, unless a group of people he trusts keep telling him (not too much, like when it seems proper). Find another dominating girl, who won't hurt him like this. Don't tell him she is flawed, that will draw him closer to her, just encourage him to be strong and have a backbone. Maybe suggest taking classes with him, like fighting or art, it might build his confidence, which is probably why he is masochistic to begin with.
dispatch3d Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I'd basically refuse to be in the same room as Jill.
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