musemaj11 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Just now my friend told me that a girl we both know asked him to go to Disneyland this weekend. He told me that he agreed to go because its gonna be a free ticket since she is paying for it. So I asked him if its a date. He said he didnt know. And I asked him again if he even liked her. He said no more than a friend while its pretty well known that she likes him and she obviously wants more. I was pretty shocked because this is usually something that girls do because they feel entitled to guys spending money on them. I mean a ticket to Disneyland is $80 each and this girl works part time for minimum wage. If she was taking him to In&Out, then probably I would have just shaken my head and chuckled. So how come some(many?) people be so oblivious of others? Is it just human nature for being selfish and unconcerned about others? Do they just think somehow they deserve it? Personally I cant even let a friend of mine giving me a ride without me paying him back for his gas in another way.
Mad Max Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 If she offered(which I'm assuming is the case), it's not spending her money. If they both agreed and he assumed she was going to pay, that's something else. Going by what you said, she might believe that by paying his way, he'll fall for her. Not going to happen. Personally, if someone is going to pay my way for something, I'll return the favor in some way because I would feel guilty if I didn't do something nice in return.
ReturnToSender Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) Shes making the choice to pay for him...shes an adult Ill assume and has a handle on wht her min wage budget can handle, so Id reckon thats for her alone to concern herself with. He woudlnt have been able to walk through that door if she hadnt opened it up to him... I also wanted to add, you dont know what hes done for her that she is being generous about this. There are things that I do for my ex that people think Ive lost my mind entirely cause of everthing hes put me through, but there are things hes done for me, without expecting anything in return, which I appreciate. Even my best friends in the world dont know all the details of the friendships/relationships I have with others...and since Im not married, there isnt anyone on earth I have to explain myself to. Edited November 17, 2010 by ReturnToSender
carhill Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I hope two things happen: 1. He clears up the friendzone thing 2. He gets her a nice gift while at the park as a gesture of appreciation for her hospitality, preferably something 'neutral' that won't be considered romantic. If I was aware of what was shared in the OP I would either politely decline or go with a group of people so there was no ambiguity about going as friends and not as a date. I'd probably decline. I've been on the other end of that stick plenty and the splinters feel none too good.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 That girl is too generous, and I have to admit slightly naive.
Author musemaj11 Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) Im quite surprised that people have no issue with taking other people's money. Or maybe Im just the one who cares too much about other people ,,, For young college students my age, $80 is a lot of money. Even if I were interested in the girl, I wouldnt accept her spending that much money if I were my friend unless she owed me something of equal amount. Edited November 17, 2010 by musemaj11
ReturnToSender Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I think I may have missed something.. he took money from her? Or she comped his ticket for the trip? Also, like I said, no one knows what any agreement is or favors done between them, except them. Many people have been baffled by things Ive done for others, or what others have done for me...but then they dont know the whole story...and its not like they have the right to.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I think I may have missed something.. he took money from her? Or she comped his ticket for the trip? Also, like I said, no one knows what any agreement is or favors done between them, except them. Many people have been baffled by things Ive done for others, or what others have done for me...but then they dont know the whole story...and its not like they have the right to. It sounds to me that they're the only ones going on this trip.
Star Gazer Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 If she offered(which I'm assuming is the case), it's not spending her money. In a way, it is. He's taking advantage of her known feelings for him, without any benefit to her whatsoever. That's pretty sh*tty, don't you think??
ReturnToSender Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) It sounds to me that they're the only ones going on this trip. Either way doesnt change that we have no idea what they do for each other... Its all speculation. And yeah even if hes never done a single thing for her in his life, shes probably well aware of that when she offered to comp the ticket for him. But like I have a good friend who every time we go out, I buy her drinks or Ill take care of her lunch tab and when people look at us funny she jokes Im a better bf than any guys shes gone out with. But what no one knows is that so many times, Id go for a visit and she has a whole bag of groceries she picked up for me, has given me gas money just cause she noticed my tank was low, etc. just so happens she treats me to practical stuff no one sees, and I treat her to nites out that other people notice. But its no ones business that we help each other out when we're broke...no one knows the deal cept the two people involved. Thats why Im not going to assume anything about either one of them. Anything else is just passing judgement. Edited November 17, 2010 by ReturnToSender
Author musemaj11 Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) This guy is a close buddy of mine. The girl and him are friends but not close. I think I may have missed something.. he took money from her? Or she comped his ticket for the trip? He didnt really 'take' her money. But I just found what he did lacks integrity. Since everyone seems to be so pro freeloading, now Im beginning to feel that Im a weirdo for being against it. Edited November 17, 2010 by musemaj11
ReturnToSender Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 (edited) This guy is a close buddy of mine. The girl and him are friends but not close. He didnt really 'take' her money. But I just found what he did lacks integrity. Since everyone seems to be so pro freeloading, now Im beginning to feel that Im a weirdo for being against it. Eh. Personally Im not pro freeloading at all. I just find it hard to have any ideas about this situation, and I find it hard to pass judgement regardless. If it was one of them, personally involved posting with the details about it, that would be different and I might have an opinion on it, since one of them would have first hand personal info about whats going on between them to share, but what we have here really is just gossip and speculation and Im not into that. And like Ive mentioned...no matter how close you are to someone, dont assume they disclose every minute detail of their lives with you about themselves and people they come across. The only people who really know, are the people involved. Id also venture to guess, if you feel he lacks integrity and the title of this thread is your feeling of how you describe him...then its entirely possible that you arent *that* close of friends....that thats how youd talk of someone you consider a close buddy, which makes it even more possible he doesnt share everything with you. I have a friend that has taken to passing judgement on me no matter what I say or do..Ive known her over 20 years and love her dearly but I dont tell her everything anymore. Edited November 17, 2010 by ReturnToSender
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