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Questions to ask?

Titania22

By Titania22
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Titania22 Established Member

Titania22

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Hey Everyone,

 

I was reading the thread about 'why did she ask me that?' and it made me think.

 

I have a first date on saturday, and I have no idea what sort of questions you can/should ask when on a first date.

 

The thing is, I do want to know about the people I go on dates with, but I don't care overly for the statistical analysis of their life (i.e. what job they do, how much they earn, when their last relationship was, etc, etc). To me all that stuff is just surface/details, and doesn't really tell me about who the person under the labels is. Also, because I don't want to answer such questions either, I don't feel it is right for me to ask them.

 

So what I want to know is a list of possible questions I can ask on my date, if the conversation stagnates, or is too focussed on him asking me questions and me just answering, even if they are just surface stuff, because then at least I will feel I have permission to ask such things.

 

In the past I have attempted such questions as "What are you passionate about? and If you could have 3 superpowers, which 3 would you pick?" And they went down like lead bricks. People don't get my sort of questions. And I don't want the date to be, me talking about me:sick:.

 

Thanks

yah Established Member

yah

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Your questions remind me of interview questions. :laugh:

 

Talk about TV shows... Family Guy, Simpsons, etc. I think most guys love those shows. :laugh:

 

I'm curious to know why you wouldn't want to ask about what they do for a living; if its their career I assume its something they are somewhat passionate about. Anyway, since I am posting on your thread, I'll contribute a few questions since you asked- Where did you go for your last vacation? What kind of holiday traditions did you have growing up? What's your favorite food/drink?

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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I like to talk to them as if I already know them. Even though it's the first date, I will tell them about my day at work and try to sound humorous.

 

I also like to comment on random things around. Like if he has a shopping bag from some random shop, I would say "So you went to X shop! What did you get?" and then we talk about that for a few minutes.

 

Also, say you are in a restaurant - comment on things around you. If a waitress asks to take your menus for the second time for example (after you ordered) I say something like "They have a whole stack of menus at the counter, why do you think are they so desperate for ours?"

 

I dunno, I am just bored to death of formulaic conversations such as "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" etc etc

 

I pretty much always get the second date so I guess "my way" works :o

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I like to talk to them as if I already know them. Even though it's the first date, I will tell them about my day at work and try to sound humorous.

 

I also like to comment on random things around. Like if he has a shopping bag from some random shop, I would say "So you went to X shop! What did you get?" and then we talk about that for a few minutes.

 

Also, say you are in a restaurant - comment on things around you. If a waitress asks to take your menus for the second time for example (after you ordered) I say something like "They have a whole stack of menus at the counter, why do you think are they so desperate for ours?"

 

I dunno, I am just bored to death of formulaic conversations such as "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" etc etc

 

I pretty much always get the second date so I guess "my way" works :o

 

I agree with this. Especially the situational conversation. You can ask an interview question here and there, but don't make the interview the main topic of conversation.

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Titania22 Established Member

Titania22

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Point taken. I had a first date, early this year, for the first time in years and it felt like an interrogation. I think I am just asking this, so I can avoid the interrogation. At the time I said, "we keep talking about me, tell me about you." At which point he said "What do you want to know ask me anything" and I was stumped. So I asked the superpower question and he didn't take it seriously, and went back to interrogating me.

 

Love your ideas, all except for talking about family guy or the simpsons (no offense). If I was with that guy, I would hit the floor running.:laugh:

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

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I'd ask when was his last relationship. The closer the date, the easier to figure out if you're the rebound.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I'd ask when was his last relationship. The closer the date, the easier to figure out if you're the rebound.

 

Eh, I avoid asking about her past relationships, especially on a first date. If she asks about mine, I'll offer up the answers, but I usually won't respond with questions about her own past...

yah Established Member

yah

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Love your ideas, all except for talking about family guy or the simpsons (no offense). If I was with that guy, I would hit the floor running.:laugh:

 

Ah, to each her own. I am watching The Simpsons right now. lol

 

I agree with the other PP about going with the flow.

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

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Eh, I avoid asking about her past relationships, especially on a first date. If she asks about mine, I'll offer up the answers, but I usually won't respond with questions about her own past...

 

No.... I would avoid the details. I don't need to hear how many time they cuddled or went out together; I just want to know when they broke up.

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Titania22 Established Member

Titania22

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Come to think of it, I don't know why I was worried. I just reread the guys profile, and he is as big a geek as I am, so we can spend our time talking about computer games and sci fi. And one thing I want to ask him, after reading that profile is "are you a nerdfighter?"

 

Thanks guys for the ideas, I feel more prepared now, and I am looking forward to the date. I checked out the menu of the restaurant online last night, and it looks pretty good.

craw Established Member

craw

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Lolololol. Ive casually asked whether he had a criminal record or children. Saved me a lot of hassle ;-)

Surrealist Established Member

Surrealist

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I dunno, I am just bored to death of formulaic conversations such as "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" etc etc

 

As mundane a question this may seem, you never know it might strike up a somewhat interesting coversation.

 

If someone asked me that I would respond by saying I have a sister who is not my biological sister as I am adopted. I didn't find out I was adopted until I was 21 years old.

 

This may elicit further interest around why I didnt find out until 21 years of age, or it may not.

 

If it does, I could go on to add how I met my bioligical brothers and sisters and how we fell out of touch to meet again many years later on facebook.

 

The point being, can never always know what surprises a question may bring as mundane as it may appear.

ReturnToSender Established Member

ReturnToSender

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I like to keep the first date really light, just to see how we get along and if the convo flows easily. Im a conversationalist and have an off beat sense of humour, which helps. But yeah, I just talk about random things. Whats mundane everyday type stuff to me is a new view into my world for him, and vice versa.

 

I have no issues with talking about work since well...we spend a third of our waking lives working..its a huge part of our lives and no matter what a guy does, I genuinly love seeing a man who is passionate about his chosen path. (kicks my butt in the end cause I always end up with workaholics, but I digress..)

 

But yeah, to me conversation is like surfing wiki...start off with one simple thing that you grab a piece of info from and spin off into a whole other thing, that you grab a piece of info from and so on and so forth. Im not so much nervous as I am excited by getting to know someone new...I find getting to know someone exciting. But then again, Im *that* person who will strike up convo while waiting in line at the grocery store...so...

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