mendsley Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 I have been dating this beautiful woman for about three months and I am really liking many things about her ... except ........ She has many guy friends. I am ok with women having guy friends, some women tell me it's easier to be friends with guy because there are not as many emotions to deal with. My issue is this, she spends a lot of time with me probably 3 times a week at my house. She drives about 1/2 hour to see me and she does not make a ton of money so, to me, it shows some effort on her part. The only time she will not stay with me or I stay there is on Saturdays. Saturdays are her "party" nights, her and her friends go to clubs, bars, and where ever else the "party" is going on. I have never liked the club/bar scene because if you are going every Saturday night you are doing more than just dancing. A few weeks ago she was telling me how her married friend pulled a number and her lesbian friend was making out with dudes. This last Saturday night I sent her a text saying I hope you are having fun and good night. Well she never responded, and she usually does. So the next morning she called and we talked for a bit and asked her what she did and she said "just went out with some friends" and changed the subject real quick. Now there is another problem, about 2 months ago she was texting some dude right in front of me and when I confronted her on it she apologized and said he is an old boyfriend and is very toxic and she was erasing all traces of him. Well last week I glanced at her phone and there was a text from him. So Yesterday I wrote and email (I should of talked to her in person) telling her what is on my mind and she got all pissed off, which I expected. Telling me that she spends 99% of her time with me and she was very hurt that I could even suggest a thing. After we both cooled off she sent a response telling me about how hurt she was and how I need to understand that her time with me is all me and her time not with me is her business. I was fine with everything except that BS. To me, if I agree to that, that will give her the right to see other people, which I do not want. She never denied seeing anyone and I am getting a "gut" feeling about her and that I cannot trust her. I would feel a ton better if she could tell me that she has no desire to see other people and is focused on building the relationship with me. That might too much to ask from someone whom I am only dating, but that is what I am doing for her. I know for a relationship to grow and build people need their own time, I am fine with that, but does it have to be clubs and bars? Do you think I am insecure, jealous, or ??? or do you think I have a valid concern here and should run??? Thanks
eminembnja Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 This may be a silly question, but have you two actually explicitly committed to each other? Honestly, the Saturday party nights do not sound like relationship material, it sounds more like you guys are casually dating.
Author mendsley Posted November 19, 2010 Author Posted November 19, 2010 Thanks for the replay, that is not a silly question. To be honest I don't know what we have here. I guess I assumed we would be exclusive since we have a lot of sex and she spends so much time with me. I have tried to ask if we are exclusive and she dances around the question. I guess after looking at this, we are casualy dating. So does casualy dating mean sex and dating other people? I personally am focused only on her, maybe I am rushing this. After 4 months you would think she would want to be exclusive? This whole ordeal has me questioning if I am insecure or desperate. Thanks
Fouts Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Most relationships tend to burn out at the 3-4 month mark. Keep in mind both people don't burn out, it's one that gets tired of the other. Probably what's happening here. If it was me, I'd put much less focus on her schedule and agenda and focus on mine.
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