pb999 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Ok - quick summary. I was seeing a girl over the summer (may to sept), lots of fun, nothing serious (she is much much younger than me, which is somewhat relevant I suppose), but much more than fwb... Towards the mid/end of summer, she started to blow me off here and there, still would come by but was also moving on with some new friends and a new local job etc. I suppose I got a bit "needy' - we had one (just one) late night conversation about this at the end of Sept and then... Nothing. No calls or txts from her at all. for five weeks. That was that. I missed her alot, but I suppose I got used to the attention/sex etc. (id been a very casual dater for the last 4 years - post marriage)... Anyway, I did not call her either. No contact (ok, one voice mail Halloween wknd to say hi that was it). Well, this must have gotten to her because she texted and called me over the weekend. I met up with her and it was like the summer all over again, like nothing ever happened (you've been busy I've been busy blah blah blah) No discussion of why she hadnt called... So, we met up twice, she stayed over Sunday nite - just like old times. We talked yesterday, only because she left a ring at my place, but she says she wants to keep hanging out. (ok, age gap, she's 24, I'm 44. shes mature for her age, I'm a young 44). I've been thinking what I want and I'd like to keep seeing her but I also know that I'd like to keep some control both over my emotions and over the relationship. She had 100% before (I gave it to her)... I will also see other people casually, and I assume that she may as well. We just won't talk about that. From a contact standpoint though, what should I do? No contact was the reason she came back around. Do I stick with that? I'm not a player but I'm a pretty confident guy - but she got to me. I don't want that to happen again. I do like her though, and we do have fun together. I'm just a bit confused about how to react to all of this now. any thoughts? Thanks for reading such a long post.
reservoirdog1 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Let her initiate 95% of the contacts for the next while. Sounds like you played it well, and it paid off. Keep doing that. I think you're right in that by not being available, you made her want you more. The key is to keep doing that. And do NOT become pissy, aloof or emotional with her about any of this. You want to come across as a busy, fun, in-demand guy with lots of things going on. That's what'll build attraction in this girl: the prospect that you don't NEED her.
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