worlybear Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 :( I never thought that STBXH would really stay with OW and her daughter. I find it really difficult that he has done so, especially as it appears to be unusual. I really thought it wouldn't last and it hurts that my STBX is living a wonderful new life, without a thought for his previous family. My oldest son is now living with them (conditions of early release)and that hurts too. Being very ill recently was very frightening and I feel very alone. Outwardly I appear to be doing well- I've started driving again and have a new job in January.I put on a great act so people(esp.family) don't realise. But..... I'm scared that I won't cope with f/t teaching and I'm worried that I've taken on more than I can cope with. All I can see ahead are mountains and obstacles. I'm too old and too tired for all this. I am doing all the right things to move on and I've made new friends but there's a huge hole in my life and I don't think I'll ever really get over him. I wish there was a way to do so. I'm fed up with pretending it's o.k.when I still feel like c***.
GorillaTheater Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Worly, I wish I had something that could help, but I don't know that I do, other than to tell you that I'm thinking about you and I'm sorry for your pain. Are you getting out there and doing things? Exercising and taking care of yourself? It almost sounds like platitudes, but nothing works as well as these things.
Author worlybear Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Yes. I'm re-starting swimming this week and walking the dog. I try to eat sensibly too. I can't face meeting up with the rotary group yet- mainly because there's a meal and my appetite is still poor. Thankyou for your thoughts. It helps to know other people are out there.
GorillaTheater Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I wouldn't be surprised if you're not ready yet, but have you thought about dating? Nothing'll take your mind off the stbx like a new man in your life or three.
anne1707 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Worly I think GT is on to something. Your confidence has been crushed but if you tried some dating and could see that you are actually worth knowing, attractive and interesting as far as other men are concerned then you might just start realising what the rest of us can see is true - you do deserve better than the STBX and you will get better him if you just give yourself that chance
Author worlybear Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 I have actually been out on a few dates this year but sheesh the guys were even more messed up than me! I know we all have baggage, but one guy kept breaking dates (just friendly ones) as his x kept changing his access to his daughter. Other guy- had a nervous breakdown due to all kinds of crap in his life. I am friendly with another guy and been out x2 prior to being ill and we're hoping to go out this week. I just don't know if its a good idea to even consider it- He's o.k but no sparks (well not yet anyway.) I'm treating him as a friend not as a potential boyfriend and I know I have to make the effort if I'm to move forward. Just anxious not to encourage any more trauma and drama! Divorce has tottered to a halt- solicitor chasing legal aid for response, so nothing sorted there. Only constant is that 9 yr old still wants nothing to do with her Dad at all. I expect this will eventually be also sorted out but I haven't the energy or inclination to do so and his contact has been so minimal as to be almost non existent so what the hell I won't be forcing her!
Recommended Posts