Not sure what to make of this, but I think I know what not to do...

[alwaysoverthinking]

So I have been in NC from the get go, around 43 days since the break, and no attempts on her behalf to contact me. It was a bad break, no explanation given, and she behaved in a way that, quite frankly, she should be embarrased by, and makes it quite nearly impossible, I think, for me to ever consider reconciling. Basically, I've kinda concluded that I got needy/clingy and ceased being any type of challenge to her, (it was an LDR, but she'll be back for good in March), and we hadn't been dating long enough for her to be invested enough to talk about anything serious (3 months, almost 4). Without getting into specifics about the relationship, I'll just pose this question:

She was in town for her birthday this weekend. I made no effort to meet up with her at all, didn't even tell her happy birthday. She's young (24), I'm 29. So apparently she runs into a couple of my friends while she's out, and supposedly feels the need to tell her side of things to one of my buddies. I have not asked him what she said, and I think it's probably better that I don't find out, because it will just give me the urge to talk to her. Another friend ran into her, and basically she just said something to the effect of "oh, well this is embarassing" and walked off. So my question is two-fold...one, what can I glean from this behavior on her part? And two, do you think I'm better off not knowing what she said to my friend the other night?

[AlisaMarie]

Don't worry about what she said. I ran into an ex after not seeing him for 4 years and told his brother "that was awkward." Don't worry about it. She doesn't need to be explaining to your friends anything. Maybe she's just trying to validate herself in some way... but she knows that your friends are going to tell you everything.

[alwaysoverthinking]

Well, right. I guess I'm just not sure why she cares what my friends think about the whole thing. Previously she had indicated to a friend that she's glad it wasn't made a big deal of in my friend circle. Now she's trying to explain herself to a friend of mine. Of course she thinks that person will tell me what she said. Obviously it wasn't earth shattering, otherwise he would have told me already. I just think it's better for me, personally, to not know.

[AlisaMarie]

I agree, she probably wasn't bad mouthing you... but just stating "her side" of the story. She was probably afraid that you may have bad mouthed her (because let's face it, guys always call the girl a psycho after a break up, ha ha.) She may have been drinking too. I would want to know myself, so I know this might be hard, but it's probably best you don't. Your friend may come to you and tell you without you even asking... if so listen and laugh it off. I am so good at giving advice, but horrible at taking it. My friend saw my ex and I couldn't stop asking her questions. I know how ya feel.

[alwaysoverthinking]

That's a good point. Of course she had been drinking. I haven't actually badmouthed her at all, really. Her actions speak for themselves, as far as my friends are concerned. I haven't really made a big deal of it, and have completely left it out of any conversations with co-workers. Part of me thinks that she does feel bad about what happened, or, at least the way she handled things. She is likely too cowardly to apologize to me, which, given what I know of her, wouldn't be surprising. I'm not saying she's interested in reconciling...frankly, I have no interest in that at the moment anyway. It seems to me that her actions are entirely self-serving, out of concern for how she is perceived. Nobody likes to be thought of as a bad person.