I want to improve in every way

[Analytical]

I very recently became self-aware. I had problems with social anxiety, but this immediately melted away whenever I thought about the core reasons for my actions. I have a pretty high IQ (usually between 125-145), and really want to improve in every way. I would like advice, direction, or just questions that force me to analyze things to learn from my mistakes. I have become incredibly tolerable of other's opinions because I feel I can learn from anyone's successes and mistakes. I've never had a serious relationship with a woman because I was too petty and cynical, so that is my first goal. I don't feel like I need too much advice on this subject as I've read a lot about it (I just need to implement), but if anyone has any thoughtful remarks, I will gladly listen.

 

I have a degree in chemistry and am currently enrolled in a master's program, but plan to take time off after this semester to reevaluate everything. I will travel (considering Europe) during this time.

 

So please help know where I should focus my energy.

Edited November 16, 2010 by Analytical

[quankanne]

I have become incredibly tolerable of other's opinions because I feel I can learn from anyone's successes and mistakes.

 

this is a very good start – placing self second, even briefly, helps you become a better man because your focus is not solely on yourself, if that makes sense.

 

as you spend more time with people to get a better idea of how they tick, and how that triggers your response, seriously think about the kind of person you want to be. Is there someone who is a role model of sorts, someone who you can emulate so you can be a better person? For me, it's my mom ... I want to have a heart as big as hers, and to love as freely as she did; I want the people I love to know that this love is solid, that they can take it to the bank if need be ... everything else falls into place as I achieve this ...

 

read up and discuss topics you don't normally think about – it forces you to consider just where you stand on issues, and it helps you to better relate to people. Heck, even people-watching can be valuable when it comes to figuring people out through their behaviors.

 

music: Get your hands on everything under the sun and listen. I won't guarantee that you'll like a lot of it, but I've always found it interesting how a new genre (well, new to me) opens up my thinking because it gives a whole new way of looking at things.

 

basically, learn to be curious about everything you encounter much like a small child is curious. The wonder of your discoveries will be priceless when you do ...

[Analytical]

I'd like to add that my main problem right now is learning to control my focus. I find it very difficult to turn off my racing mind to fall asleep and would appreciate any tips.

[Analytical]

I have become incredibly tolerable of other's opinions because I feel I can learn from anyone's successes and mistakes.

 

this is a very good start – placing self second, even briefly, helps you become a better man because your focus is not solely on yourself, if that makes sense.

 

as you spend more time with people to get a better idea of how they tick, and how that triggers your response, seriously think about the kind of person you want to be. Is there someone who is a role model of sorts, someone who you can emulate so you can be a better person? For me, it's my mom ... I want to have a heart as big as hers, and to love as freely as she did; I want the people I love to know that this love is solid, that they can take it to the bank if need be ... everything else falls into place as I achieve this ...

 

read up and discuss topics you don't normally think about – it forces you to consider just where you stand on issues, and it helps you to better relate to people. Heck, even people-watching can be valuable when it comes to figuring people out through their behaviors.

 

music: Get your hands on everything under the sun and listen. I won't guarantee that you'll like a lot of it, but I've always found it interesting how a new genre (well, new to me) opens up my thinking because it gives a whole new way of looking at things.

 

basically, learn to be curious about everything you encounter much like a small child is curious. The wonder of your discoveries will be priceless when you do ...

 

I always find it funny now when I seek advice only to realize I already knew these things. I still appreciate it for that thought alone. Thanks.

[Yer_Blues]

I have no idea if you have issues with any of the stuff I do, but heres a caution from someone who has felt that way before:

 

Don't be a perfectionist to an extreme. Self-improvement is great, but when you start overanalyzing yourself and being too objective about yourself, you can become too externally validated. I personally can't really try at something without getting personally attached to the result. If I fail at something, especially when competing directly with someone else, I get these feelings of inferiority and extreme frustration. My social anxiety is largely derived from overanalyzing my environment and trying to avoid failure too much. Sometimes, even though I really struggle to, I need to just relax and let things be more than I do.

[jean-luc sisko]

Everybody should grow. it's natural and normal.

 

I would start by outlining your strengths and building on them, and learning to mitigate your weaknesses.

 

I would also say, and I apologise if this sounds contradictory, that you should not improve. I think a good degree of self-acceptance is healthy, coupled with a desire to improve oneself.