Perplexed81 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 So, as all of you may already know and for those who don't, my original threads were "Should I send ex-fiancee's daughter a birthday card" and "Should I....". Ex-fiancee made contact last night for the first time or should I say, her 8 year old daughter did. Although from looking at the text, it had to have been the ex that typed it becuase the daughter doesn't use periods or capital letters. I get a text last night saying: "Thank you daddy and I miss you". I replied: "I miss you sooo much sweetie and your very welcome, if its ok with your mommy whenever you wanna spend it i'll take you toy shopping." I didn't recieve a reply back. Not many people would see alot of information in that one text but actually there's quite a bit of info if you break it down. The child is obviously still calling me daddy and second, again from the looks of it the ex-fiancee had to have been the one to type of the message. If she says the reason we can't try again is becuase she's doing whats best for her and her daughter, then why text me that or so be it, have her daughter text me that? She's put up pictures on a girls night or weekend out and i'll admit she looks very good. She looks like she's lost alot of weight and also completely changed her hair. I know this becuase some of her friends who are my friends on FB were tagged in these photos so obviously they were right there for me to see when I logged in. I hit me a little bit but I'm happy for her. She's still obviously single after these 2 months and no pics or nothing of any other man in the picture so....my question is. What now? I replied back only because the text was supposably from the daughter and since I didn't recieve a reply I still kept NC. Questions: 1. Why did she allow her daughter to text me saying she misses me and let her call me daddy if she was supposably doing whats right for her in not giving us another shot. 2. Should I keep no NC as its been going on 30 days now prior to recieving this text from last night?
brown03 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Iunno it's hard to say I would wait a bit the text you sent is pretty good so if it really was the mom then you might have gotten to her and she didn't know what to say because she was having second thoughts. I'm not sure if its actually the mom but I would think if it was the daughter she would of replied. But at the same time why didn't the daughter text you is she mad at you or hurt from you leaving and for 2 months not even seeing her. If i were you I would at least go and see if you could take her to spend it. And when you go and she is getting ready or what ever just turn and ask the mom "You wanna come from the ride it will be cute to see her pick out toys" For most moms it will get her because she will wanna see that. You need to try and make some move man get in there. You need to spend time with this person show her you've changed. And you have to stop neglecting the kid it is hurting her I promise you. My parents split up and I saw my dad every other weekend and it hurt me I thought he had left me and didn't want me anymore that it was my fault he left. You have a perfect in the daughter show that you care and want to see her the mom wont say anything and she will see how good you are it will work. 2 months of NC is obviously the way to go you can pay attention to her daughter and she will still miss you. But if you ask her she will more than likely say yes and you have your in you were being nice and bam your on a family date. I wish that I was where you are in my state I wish I had an in but I don't and she cut me out and if that was her she is obviously saying I miss you so try what I said it has no bad situation to it. Cause she can't be mad you were just being nice and asking if she wanted to come along. TRY IT.
Author Perplexed81 Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Brown03: Since the ball is in her court at this point I don't see what more I can do. Today is her birthday and I am not going to send her any birthday wishes, she won't hear from me today but atleast i'm glad that her daughter got my b-day card and check. Again, the ball is in her court, she knows how I feel from the obvious humiliating mistakes I made over a month ago i.e. "Flowers, card, texting my feelings etc." Today marks 26 days no contact from ex and 64 days no physical contact nor phone contact. From not recieving a reply its 100% that the daughter did not type it. So I don't know, like i said today's her birthday and she's probably gonna have a little party or whatever so I'm sure the last thing she needs is me trying to contact her. I 4 days away from 30 days NC and i'm gonna stick to it unless she decides to break it herself. I've worked too hard to get this far everything is in her court now so just sit back for now.
brown03 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Honestly I don't think No Contact is the way to go when there is a child involved. It is immature to play games in this situation to try and do something because people on LS think so. Look at all the post it doesn't matter what you write they all just say NC. Man it's not that powerful who have you seen it work for? When people get older they don't give one **** if you don't talk to them they don't care. When people are in theyre 30's they act like adults and try and work it out if they can't it's over. If they decide later that it wasn't what they wanted they again talk and see whats what. None of this NC bull****. It's for young kids who have the child effect that when they think they are going to lose something or have they want it only because they don't have it. A long lasting relationship will never last on only that. It is immature and is pointless when your older and want her back. I'm telling you know it's not in her court your a man if you want her back make a move or your going to be waiting and saying 60 days NC. I promise you your 30 she doesn't care she has been through break ups before she knows what you are doing she is not dumb she knows your playing a game and she is not going to break. IT'S IMMATURE I don't see your point every guy on here would be happy if they could get there girls back without NC and your wanting it. If you want NC then fine get over her if you want her back then just simply ask her to come whats the big ****ing deal. I hate that people think that NC works in every situation it doesn't its a GAME unless you use it to move on it doesn't work on older people.
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