...Such a strange sense of loss...

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

Earlier today, I found out that a girl whom I went to elementary school and part of middle school with was raped and murdered on Saturday. According to news reports, she was out with friends at a bar and went back with a man who eventually attempted to rape her. 911 was called when a witness saw this man and a friend of his carrying her body into another room. She died of blunt force trauma to the head.

 

I can't quite explain what I'm feeling. I didn't know this girl very well AT ALL. I remember her from school. She was a grade above me. We went to a small Catholic school at the time. I am 25 now and she was 26. The most I ever interacted with her was when I was in an after-school program and worked on a project with her in my sixth grade year. We got along well during that project. Other than that, we barely interacted and it has been ages since I last even saw her. Probably has been since I was a teenager, maybe even before. But when I read about this, I cried. I felt so bad. It hurts to hear about her last moments. Her struggle. It makes me cry to think about how she died. This is just awful.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

I do not like to bump my own threads, but I really would like to talk to someone or hear from someone.

[LoveTNT]

That is so very sad my dear, and it's very normal that you feel this way. I'm sure you're connecting in many ways, even if you weren't her best friend, but as a woman and as a compassionate being. As woman, we need to come together and look out for one another. Reading this reminds me to be careful and never go home with someone I don't know( sometimes even people we might think we know). That is a horrible way to pass to the other realm. I'm 26 also and it makes me sad as well.

 

Hugs*

 

PS. I love Amy... Back to black was on repeat for a long time...

[Mad Max]

That's terrible. Another reason why not to go home with someone from a bar. You know nothing about them.

[sedgwick]

My best friend in college accepted a ride home one night from a guy she met in a bar. He wasn't drunk, she'd had a bit too much to drink, they'd been talking all night, he drugged her last drink and took her back to his place and raped her. Luckily (if you can call it that), he then fell asleep and she came to and got away. I have never been so angry in my life. All I can say is that it truly sucks, and I am so sorry for your friend and her family, and for how you are feeling right now.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

Thanks Sedgwick. That's awful to hear that your friend went through something so terrible. This girl was moreso an acquaintance to me, it had been years since we had seen each other, and we hardly interacted at all. But, I still feel so troubled about it. I am keeping up with the story through an on-line newspaper. This is a huge story in that town (I no longer live there but grew up there) because the last reported murder there was about 5 years ago. The comments people are leaving on the articles pertaining to this case disturb me. I do agree that "innocent before proven guilty" is necessary. A man who she left the bar with and went to his apartment with, as well as who witnesses saw carrying her half-naked body to a different room has been arrested. He was there at the scene when 911 was called, too. Obviously there was SOMETHING fishy that he did. BUT, many people are writing about how this guy was a great guy and would NEVER do anything bad like that. It had to have been an accident. The court documents state that she died through blunt force trauma to the head in an attempted rape. That's some accident...

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

It makes me mad that in a lot of the comments, the good will is wished toward the arrested, rather than the focus being on the girl who died and the young baby that was left behind from this. People are trying to claim in the comments that the whole thing was accidental when they do not know. It seems very disrespectful to her memory.

[lapse]

Having had an immediate family member be plastered across news sites, I will tell you the best thing is not to read the comments. Often, not even read the coverage. (I read them and even responded, but I acknowledged it wasn't a good idea!) It is rarely presented accurately and, even when it is, as you can see, it triggers people's defenses. The fact is, the people who knew this guy who did this to her are probably having a very hard time accepting that they liked someone who did something so monstrous. Defending the guy they like or love is a form of defending themselves. It really does hurt that someone you care about has hurt someone else and, for a time, it will likely be unbelievable to them.

 

I don't think it's odd at all that you feel this way... it likely comes from a mix of compassion and identification. When the unthinkable happens to someone whose life parallels ours, I think we realize it could have also just as easily been us. I see things happen to other people - e.g., Morgan Harrington disappearing from the arena in Charlottesville, VA - and think of the careless things I've done. And I know there but for the grace of God...