alcantria Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 hey guys, as you can see, I'm new here. So, there's a girl that's interested in me at the college I attend. She gave me the indicators, brief eye contact and a small, but lovely smile. So, here's my dilemma. I see her only in the hallway waiting for the instructor to arrive to open the classroom door. She is not in my class, but in the room across. How do I initiate a conversation with her? One of my friends told me to compliment her on her smile, however, I see that as a borderline creeper comment, and I certainly don't want to scare her away, that's not the plan. What's the correct way to first talk to her? Your advice is greatly appreciated.
GivenUp0083 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 hey guys, as you can see, I'm new here. So, there's a girl that's interested in me at the college I attend. She gave me the indicators, brief eye contact and a small, but lovely smile. So, here's my dilemma. I see her only in the hallway waiting for the instructor to arrive to open the classroom door. She is not in my class, but in the room across. How do I initiate a conversation with her? One of my friends told me to compliment her on her smile, however, I see that as a borderline creeper comment, and I certainly don't want to scare her away, that's not the plan. What's the correct way to first talk to her? Your advice is greatly appreciated. If what you say is true (eye contact, smile) then it really shoudn't matter WHAT you say. You have her in the bag. I would go up and make a joke to test her humor level. If you're not a funny guy, ask her what class she's in, tell her you've seen her a few times and thought you'd say hi. Be confident about it. If you're lacking confidence, think of yourself as a pro athlete going up to just some random girl. Smile, be polite, do less talking, do the asking of questions. Ask her if she has plans for the weekend, tell her you might know about a party or something and if she wants to tag along with you (because you're going anyway because you do what you want with or without her). Then get her number, don't tell her when you'll call or IF you'll even call. Then say "later" and find a party to go to, maybe some friends to wing for you, and call her 2 days before the party. Bam.
that girl Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 There isn't anything wrong with complimenting her smile, the question is what do you say afterwards. Odds are she will either say thank you or look creeped out. But you haven't started a conversation, you've just randomly complimented her. Figure out a way to start a conversation. Let's say you're on the school paper- find an article that needs an interview. Ask her how the class is, you've been thinking of taking it. But don't lie. If she's receptive, eventually bring up a party you're going to this weekend or how you've been meaning to try the new Chinese place off campus. Ask her if she wants to come. Get her number. Ask her if she has plans for the weekend, tell her you might know about a party or something and if she wants to tag along with you (because you're going anyway because you do what you want with or without her). Then get her number, don't tell her when you'll call or IF you'll even call. Then say "later" and find a party to go to, maybe some friends to wing for you, and call her 2 days before the party. Bam. This doesn't sound confident, it sounds obnoxious.
GivenUp0083 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 There isn't anything wrong with complimenting her smile, the question is what do you say afterwards. Odds are she will either say thank you or look creeped out. But you haven't started a conversation, you've just randomly complimented her. Figure out a way to start a conversation. Let's say you're on the school paper- find an article that needs an interview. Ask her how the class is, you've been thinking of taking it. But don't lie. If she's receptive, eventually bring up a party you're going to this weekend or how you've been meaning to try the new Chinese place off campus. Ask her if she wants to come. Get her number. This doesn't sound confident, it sounds obnoxious. Ok, take this advise, and be a random dude asking serious questions about a class, which will scream zero interest. The point isn't to sound crazy about her, but let her know you've noticed her and you're confident enough to introduce yourself in public. Obviously he doesn't bring the party up RIGHT AWAY, that sounds creep, but THAT GIRL doesn't think you have any knowledge of how to speak to women so she assumes you'd creep her out. Here's the take on sounding obnoxious. That girl doesn't have interest in you, she could care less what you say. But the girl the OP is talking about has shown signs of interest, so be confident and make normal conversation and hint about seeing her later, but get her phone number. If you were out of college I'd say the restaurant idea would be good, but you're in college, girls just wanna have fun at this stage in their lives. Try to invite her to a social even where she can have fun while spending time with you. Anything other than a social even like a party or school event would be too serious at this point.
utterer of lies Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 How do I initiate a conversation with her? One of my friends told me to compliment her on her smile, however, I see that as a borderline creeper comment, and I certainly don't want to scare her away, that's not the plan. What's the correct way to first talk to her? Your advice is greatly appreciated. Hi. I like you. May I invite you for a drink sometime?
Author alcantria Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 First of all, thanks for the replies! I think I am going to take off with what Givenup0083. Ask her what class she's in, and then progress from there. I'll ask her if I can buy her a cup of coffee sometime before I leave. I mean, coffee is the most non threatening way of first conversing with her, right? Thanks again, guys.
GivenUp0083 Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 First of all, thanks for the replies! I think I am going to take off with what Givenup0083. Ask her what class she's in, and then progress from there. I'll ask her if I can buy her a cup of coffee sometime before I leave. I mean, coffee is the most non threatening way of first conversing with her, right? Thanks again, guys. Asking for coffee isn't a terrible idea, but do it like this. "Hey, I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee after class gets out, you want to join me?" Make it sound like you didn't put a ton of thought into this, you just came up with the idea as you were talking to her. Also, you're confident dude so you were already going to do this on your own, she can come with if she wants, but you're going either way. This will sound more confident than "would you like to come with me to go drink coffee together?" See what I'm getting at?
Author alcantria Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 Asking for coffee isn't a terrible idea, but do it like this. "Hey, I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee after class gets out, you want to join me?" Make it sound like you didn't put a ton of thought into this, you just came up with the idea as you were talking to her. Also, you're confident dude so you were already going to do this on your own, she can come with if she wants, but you're going either way. This will sound more confident than "would you like to come with me to go drink coffee together?" See what I'm getting at? That sounds MUCH better. I absolutely love it. Yeah, this shows that I already have plans to get a cup of coffee. Wish me luck. You've been great help!!
Author alcantria Posted November 19, 2010 Author Posted November 19, 2010 update. So, today, I am sitting in the hallway and she comes and sits right next to me. I wait a minute or so, and say me: hey, how's it going? her: good me: so what class are you in? her: biology and she doesn't say anything after that. She didn't even ask me anything? Could it be because she's nervous? I didn't want to be annoying to her, so I kept to myself and then picked my stuff up and walked to class. Have I just burned the bridge between me and her? Or is she just simply not interested in me? Either way, this was a huge let down. I've lost all my game.
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