me get over this girl!

[Evilken21]

Now keep in mind that this was 4 years ago and I was 20 years old, I have made this topic before, but I didn't really go into that much detail about it. I didn't tell you guys how I felt I left some things out and I also felt that it left alot of questions unanswered and I am still wonder

 

The reason I am doing this so I can have a better understanding of women and why people react the way they do. I am trying to educate myself! I am going to be asking ALOT of questions, so if you have the spare time to read through my thread and answer all my questions, I would highly appericiate and it will bring closure to me and make me feel better and perhaps I can finally lay this issue to rest and finally be able to move on!

 

I was browsing myspace. This named Mila that appeared to be 18 in her information caught my eye. I told her she was cute. She was really seemed really flattered by the comment and told me that she doesn't get that a whole lot. She told me that I was really really cute! We eventually started talking on msn. During this time however, I found out she wasn't really 18, she was 15. So my plans to go out with her than were doomed but than I thought I'd still talk to her anyway. Just for conversation. Also during this time i learned that she did drugs and has weird parents. She seemed interested in me. Although im not sure if she'd go out with me and I couldn't ask her out.

 

But, when I was saying sweet things to her, like giving her a "<3" symbol! she would be like "aaaaawwwww!!!"

I asked if she would kiss me and she said "Yes! I would!"

I don't remember much from the conversation, but I asked her why she took drugs,

 

She said that "its her personal life" and that drugs make her emotions go numb

So after that chat on msn. I haven't spoke to her again in a few months. I messaged her on myspace. She told me she was surprised I remembered her. What did she mean by that? anyway she told me the reason she hasn't been on msn is because her computer was acting up. so a few days later, I saw her on and I started a conversation with her.

She didn't seem to respond as fast as she did before, it seemed that her interest in me dropped a little bit from last time for some reason...anyway

There was one point during one of our chats where I asked if she missed me and she replied with "Well...lol, I only talked to you once" then I said "Yeah but we talked on myspace as well" than she said "Yeah once" Then I said, well, do you online miss me? than she said "in the online world we only talked once"

 

This didn't go down as well as I have hoped, because, I had the impression that she digged me, so I thought it was appropriate to ask if she missed me. Now that I think back on why I asked that even though me and her only spoke once, I think I did it for an ego boost! I expected her to say "Yes! I did" because in our last chat, she was really flirty and I got the impression that she liked me! and I thought that she would said that she missed me. but, now that I think back on it, I shouldn't have asked, it would seem that she didn't make a connection with me. even though back then in my mind I thought she did because of the way she reacted to me prior to this

 

she then told me that she got expelled, I showed concern, then she said she was going to go to another school but seemed slighty frustrated while answering me if I remember correctly. I continued to show concern.Then she said "You don't have to talk down to me" Like an idiot, I thought she wasn't serious about that, I thought she was joking and I didn't even think that I may had offended her. I should had picked up on it and apologized right there and then., Anyway, I told her that I wanted to try calling her over the phone so we can chat. she said her parents had grounded her. I teased her saying "ha, your only saying that cuz you don't want me to call you lol" then she said something along the lines "I resent being called a liar"

she asked where I worked. I told her at Safeway. Than she asked how much I make. I said around 8 bucks an hour. She then said "huh?" then she said they had to go and off she went.

 

This was the last normal conversation I had with her. Even though I only had 3 msn chats with her.... After this it went downhill.

I saw her on a few times, she didn't make contact so I decided to try and contact her a few times by saying "Hey!"

 

I kept making the first contact when she was on. I don't think she ever replied to them though, however, after I said "Hi" to her a few days later. she invited two guys in our conversation box. these guys were really rude to me. Saying things like "oh you really think she likes you fag??" I don't remember how I responded to that but I may have said that Mila did like me...or at least that is what I thought at the time...anyway they were calling me all sorts of crap. this got me pissed off and I told those guys to piss off and that I would kick the crap outta them! they continued to throw insults at me.

Mila never saying a word. I asked her why these guys are acting this way towards me, she told me to not worry about it and that they make fun of people, she said they even did it to her.

So obviously this was not an attempt for her to try and scare me off. because she responded to me and was still be nice to me!

Also, if that was the case, why didn't she just simply block me? I think it was really rude of her to force two people on me and get insults when I didn't do anything wrong!!

 

 

So wait a minute, what kind of things was Mila saying to these guys about me?? why did she have these guys come in to insult me? why why why??? im so confsued

After that, I saw her on a few times, I tried saying hi to her but she didn't reply, another time... I send her a heart symbol, twice. She didn't reply. Than a few days laterI send her a nudge "Its a feature on msn that shakes your whole msn box to get their attention" to get her attention...but oh man....

 

 

What she said after I did that was not I was expecting. Because I always had the impression that she liked me. I had no idea that I was bothering her at the time.

After I nudged her msn box. she told me to "**** off" I was confused and hurt after that, why did she had to react that way towards me all a sudden? was I really that bad to her that she had to just tell me to "f off" like that? it devastated me so much, here I was thinking she was my friend and all I wanted to do was talk to her and she tells me that! it really hurt me and its like she didn't give a crap. I said "Why are you being so mean?, I thought you wanted to go out with me?"

Obviously my mind wasn't clear at all, that does sound really weird and clingy, but I was so hurt and confused I couldn't even think, I couldn't make good judgement.

She then said "What part of F off! do you not understand?"

After that, I got really really really mad. so I started to insult her! saying things like "You're a loser! doing drugs you drop out piece of crap" or something like that.

I then asked her why she gave me her number, she said " I gave you a fake number * * * * * * * "

after that, she blocked me.

She told me she gave me a fake number...hmm...we'll see about that. I call the number and what do you know, it was Mila, she asked who I was and I told her I was a guy name "steve"

at this point I just wanted to mess with her, because she hurt me so bad and obviously if I tell her who I really was, she would hang up

She said " I don't know a Steve, who is this?"

i told her that I was a guy she met on campus.

She then said "When I did give you my number?"

I didn't say anything, she hung up, I tried calling back but her mom picked up saying "She doesn't want to talk to you"

I hung up...-_- so...she lied about giving me a fake number. she did give me her real number, so she was somewhat interested in me.

I told Sarah about the incident and said that she would chat with her and find out whats up. The conversation went something like this......

 

Sarah:Hey

Mila: this is one of Aaron friends right?

Sarah: Yeah?

Sarah: Is that a problem?

Mila: Not particularly

Mila: He is just being really freaky and stalky and not leaving me alone!

Mila:He just freaking called me

Sarah: How did he get your number?

Mila: *sigh*

Mila: I gave it to him. Hella days ago.

Mila: I know I'm stupid, you can go ahead and say it

Sarah: Why did you give it to him?

Mila: He messaged me on msn hella days ago. Saying I was cute. He seemed cool

Mila: Then I talked to him on msn and he creeped me out a bit

Sarah: How did he creep you out?

Mila: The things he said

Mila: "<3"

Mila: "You want to go out with me?"

Sarah: Oh

Mila: I tried to, you know, not talk to him anymore! but he kept messaging me on msn

Mila: For one he wasn't really my type and I don't mean for dating. I mean TYPE PERIOD, I don't need to be around people who frown on the things I do. Its such a downer

Mila: And have you ever gotten a vibe from someone that didn't feel right? I dunno

Mila: Then the fact that he was being all sweet, nice and blushy and crap but then he got all nasty and told my friends that I liked him.

Sarah: oh I see. That is odd

Mila: So I just wanted to know if you were sent to bug me because I know thats what some friends do

Sarah: Nah, I don't know him that well and you shouldn't be talking to older guys

Mila: I didn't really mean to..

Mila: He was just conversation, than he got all creepy

Sarah: You shouldn't be talking to older guys

Mila: He didn't seem so bad then, just some random nice guy

 

Shortly after she made that comment, Mila went offline.

I don't remember what Sarah have told me, but i can't asked her now seeing as I don't even talk to her anymore. Not that me and Sarah ended on bad terms or anything, we just don't talk at all anymore.

 

But from what i remember, Sarah told her on myspace that I was a "great" guy and that she misjudged me and after Sarah said that to her, Mila said "oops, I gotta go, bye" and blocked HER!!!!!

 

so, she claims I am a Pyscho Stalker now.

First off, I'd like to say, If she had a problem with me sending her messages on MSN. why the hell didn't she say anything about it? She didn't say anything about it so its her own god damn fault. I didn't know she didn't want me messaging her. She never told me, so.... I thought it was ok to send her messages, but no, apprantly I am a stalker because I send who I thought was my friend, messages. And I don't get the whole "vibe" thing, how was I sending out bad vibes?

And I've spoken to her a few times before and she didn't seem to have a problem with it!

 

If she had a problem with me contacting her, why didn't she say anything? she had no problem with me contacting her before, why all a sudden that she is saying that I am a stalker? and saying that I wouldn't leave her alone when she wanted me to leave her alone? What the hell did she expect??? I have friends who IM over aim, msn, yahoo all the time. So I guess all my friends are stalkers because they message me constantly

It's like she just decided to rip my heart out and stomps on it. She gave no consideration to my feelings and how she trampled them. Me being naive and childish or not, I have good intentions and it did not warrant her actions. If I annoyed her, she should have been firm with me ..... long before she resorted to taking my heart and trampling all over it mercilously.

and I am not going to lie....it really hurted me and even after all these years, I still get hurt thinking back on it. Even though i am better with women today and an incident like this never occured again. I still get bothered by it. I mean, I build her up in my mind as a sweet, nice girl and all a sudden she turns on me. Doesn't respect me at all. Hates me and doesn't care at all what she has done to me.

Why couldn't she be civilized about it? Why did she respond to me so negatively?

 

She mislead me, in our first chat it seemed that she was really into to me, hell, she gave me her number!!!! so I thought it was alright to send her hearts and stuff, but apprantly that makes me a creep now? even though she responded to them "awwwwww" like when I did it before? but now its considered creepy and I get told to "F off" for it? I don't get it. What part in this story makes me the pyscho stalker? I didn't leave anything out. I am not hiding anything, I think its pretty obvious, I mean look how long this thread is!

 

I send her this email a few months later

 

 

 

 

 

"""""I want to apologize

I know its been a long time and I just noticed you on a friends page and just wanted to apologize.

 

I realize that I probably crossed the line when I criticized you about dropping out of school and using drugs. The only reason I did so was because I was concerned about you. But I realize I may have hurt your feelings. I know us being friends can't happen. but I want you to know I'm sorry for hurting you.

 

I know I made alot of mistakes and I wish I can take back some of things I have done. I know I cannot change the way you think about me, but I thought the least I can do at this point is apologize for making you feel uncomfortable and being creepy towards you. I am completely embarrassed for my past behaviours, I was so foolish.

 

I hope someday you an forgive me. Well. Good luck with your life. Mila.""""""

 

 

 

 

 

and that was that......this was 4 years ago.

 

I was going through my inbox on myspace and well....saw her profile....

I checked her page, which was a few weeks ago, it said in her "Who would I meet" and it said "I would meet anyone, provided that you are not creepy, I would like to someday meet god and jesus"

She is 19 now and she is really cute now, she looks like a cute gothic. I felt like I've blown it, if only I backed off and perhaps came back a few years later, maybe I could have had a relationship with her. God, she is so cute!! =( Now i really want her

 

Did she put that "creepy" comment because of me? or is she did she meet alot of creepers?? because that would be silly and it was 4 years ago!!

 

Anyway, thats all I have to say, I know you guys have alot of questions to answer. I know that I am touching on a very old topic, but I am still left confused and I just want answers. Even if it is just theories. I just need some kind of closure on this. Did you guys feel that I was that bad towards her? was I really that creepy?

Edited November 16, 2010 by Evilken21

[McGrupp]

dude im going to be brutally honest here.

 

MOVE ON.

 

there are 3 billion women in the world. she was 15. your 24. it was creepy what you said. she doesnt owe you anything

 

you had one chat with her.

 

i suggest you meet some other women and get out there and forget this girl.

 

delete her chats too, and delete everything dude.

 

who cares what some 15 yr old said about you.

 

you wont get a lot of responses cause your post was so long. but just move on man.

[Evilken21]

I was 20 years old at the time. NOW she is 19 and I am 24

[McGrupp]

yeah so 4 years obsessed with a girl you never met.

 

move on

[Evilken21]

Yes I know it is ridiculous but I made this topic so I can understand why she did it so perhaps I can finally put this to rest and never think back on it again...but when I visit her profile after years later, it took me back and now I can't get it out of my mind

[xpaperxcutx]

Yes I know it is ridiculous but I made this topic so I can understand why she did it so perhaps I can finally put this to rest and never think back on it again...but when I visit her profile after years later, it took me back and now I can't get it out of my mind

 

 

Look you were 20 at the time, trying to hit on a 15 year old girl. IF that isn't creepy, I don't know what is. She was freaked out, and she had the right to be. Especially since she never met your or knew you in real life, you came across as a pedophile. When I was 15, 16, I was hit on by older men on myspace. Thank god, they had the block button.

[sedgwick]

Wait...so you've spent four years obsessed with some teenage girl you chatted with online a couple of times but never actually met in person? And you were a grown adult at the time?

 

Are you in any kind of therapy? I'd be terrified of you if I were her!!

[Evilken21]

Thanks guys this makes me feel a whole lot better -_-

and you didn't even answer ANY of my questions

[sedgwick]

Your questions:

 

Was I that bad towards her? Yes. You were a grown adult harassing a child.

Was I creepy? Yes.YOU WERE A GROWN ADULT HARASSING A CHILD!!!

Edited November 16, 2010 by sedgwick

[Evilken21]

I don't think she was creeped out by the fact that I was older though. if she really did she wouldn't had responded to me when I contacted her on myspace. Hell she flirted with me and said that she would kiss me......

 

I think it was something i did that turned her off and that is what I am confused about because I don't think I did anything that bad...

 

When she was talking to my friend Sarah, she made it seem I was this horrible horrible person

[swfc_77]

1. go out and have a few beers

 

2. find a girl in real life

 

3. stop ****.ing about on facebook/msn/skype/twitter/bebo/myspace

 

4. jesus mate, get out into the real world.

[swfc_77]

i'v just read some of your previous posts, jesus christ take the advice above specially mine.

 

u need to get off the net looking for women/girls

 

u need to be very carful as 1 day some1s father/brother/boyfriend will get hold of you and take you somewhere you really dont want to go.

 

username - EVILKEN - what the fu.c.k

[doomage]

Alright Evilken, well I think you were being creepy because you were sending her hearts and stuff for only a few short interactions, instead of a heart you should have put some smiley's in there, you don't want to put all your cards on the table man. Plus it seems to me that you like her more for her beauty than the person she actually is, so the fact that you were being all clingy and all gushy towards her turned her off because other than the fact that you thought she was attractive there was nothing else for you there to make you act that way.

 

I believe that she did dig you in the beginnin but you ruined it by asking "so did you miss me?" lol because i used to do the same thing back in the day when i was like 13 i had a online girlfriend and i would always ask her if she still loved me, and if she misses me still and all that crap. To think back the only reason why i asked was because i felt dependent on her for my happiness which is not good, which is what you were doing. I mean put some things into perspective, you hardly knew this girl, and you're acting like you were married to her for 10 years for it to affect you this badly.

 

You said you're better with girls now? Why don't you date in the real world and meet alot more women instead of dwelling on this chick, that doesn't matter anymore? You put too much weight on what she thought about you, and it simply doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you.

 

Also when your friend Sarah was asking Mila and what happened between the two of you, Mila made you out to be the bad guy because she was backwards rationalizing, what she felt at the moment when you guys first talked was different then what she felt later on, and of course peoples feelings change, but the reason why you felt she had less interest in you was because obviously after not talking to you for months she's gonna feel different.

 

P.S. when a girl gives you a bunch of excuses why she couldn't talk to you and doesn't respond to your messages or attempts to get in contact with her, they are obviously not into you, and that is their way of communicating, our way is straightforward logical, but women are often not so straightforward but expect us to get the hint nonverbally.

 

Just don't trip on this girl and put this crap to rest, live your life, go out there and date and meet a lot of women, just learn from your mistakes and don't get so clingy and expressing your undying love for a girl you hardly know next time, make her earn your love and affection.

[Fufu]

I think your sort of creeps her out by showing your affection too soon in virtual world.

 

I always wonder how do people fall in love with just lookin at a person's picture and profile in myspace or facebook.

 

Anyway it's been 4 years, long enough for you to move on and find a real girl. I don't think you will want to have a virtual relationship.

 

Not saying you can't date her, but go slow Chat with her casually and normally.