chelle21689 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 I always cry whenever we part. He never cries, sheds a tear, or looks sad. It just seems like a normal thing to him. I'm a bit offended. He looked sad once the whole 2 years we've been long distance when we parted...just once lol. I'm just concerned that if he doesn't show sadness, if that means he doesn't care for me as much in your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 He could be trying to be strong in front of you by not crying. Some people are like that, in that they don't like to have other people see them cry. Is there anything else in your relationship that you're not comfortable with other than this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 I've never seen him cry in our relationship except the 2 times we almost broke up before lol. Other than that, he has never really been that emotional, but I just wish he'd be feeling like he's losing a part of him when I leave lol. I'm not asking for him to bawl, but show some sadness. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 I think this is part of the great debate on how females and males handle things like this differently. If there are no other issues you’re seeing in his personality, I really think it’s him just putting on a brave face for you. I imagine it’d be a cold day in hell before I see my SO totally lose it like I do , but I don’t take offense to it at all. I’m very secure in the fact that he’s going through the same emotions I am but just expresses them differently. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 When he tells me he misses me but is whiny about it then he is missing me extra that day and he's horny. I'm sorry I had to laugh at this. THAT my SO never fails to make perfectly clear. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 During one of my discussions with my SO about his lack of emotion in the beginning of our relationship he told me "If the love you feel for me is equal to what you show me, than I love you more." Those words meant so much to me. And still do. That is beautiful! By the way, I stalked your profile and left you a comment on one of your pics. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) Check my profile to see my boyfriend's happy face. Because my boyfriend never shows emotion period. His flat affect has led to many an awkward moment when it comes to him interacting with people. His BFF says my SO's superpower is to turn any social situation into pure awkwardness. It has led me to frustration and saying the same thing as you, that he doesn't care. But as he tells me, just because he doesn't show his feelings doesn't mean he is lacking in being emotional. He's stoic, and that is just how it is. It's not in his nature to show his emotions just as much as it is not in mine to hide them. Chelle21689 I think this is how your boyfriend probably is. My ex was like this for the most part. He told me he cared about me and showed it with his actions but he was never too emotional. It drove me crazy and I couldn't deal with it, but I think this is what may be going on with your boyfriend. He probably does love you and misses you a ton when you two have to part ways, but he just doesn't express it physically. Alot of guys are like this though, my boyfriend tries to hold back tears when I have to leave him even if a few do find their way down his face. I think it's a main difference between males and females. Females are emotional and through social conditioning have been taught that it's ok to show your emotions. Males on the other hand, whether emotional by nature or not, are usually discouraged from being emotional. Aero, you look awesome!! You're so purty!! Thanks, I'm not very photogenic so that was one of the few decent pictures I managed to find. You're very pretty yourself though, and you and your SO look so adorable together. Edited November 16, 2010 by aerogurl87 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 >When he grunts and is extra quiet he is unhappy. When he tells me he misses me but is whiny about it then he is missing me extra that day and he's horny.< LisaLee this made me smile Men! Link to post Share on other sites
Taucher Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Dont let this worry you. I am new to this whole LDR thing but when my GF left me alst Wednesday, she cried ALOT and I didnt, I wanted to be stronger for her. When she went through security and was gone, I cried like never before. But I still found a hidden place in the airport (not easy) and put my hood up to hide myself a bit before I allowed myself this. T Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Awwwwww Dont let this worry you. I am new to this whole LDR thing but when my GF left me alst Wednesday, she cried ALOT and I didnt, I wanted to be stronger for her. When she went through security and was gone, I cried like never before. But I still found a hidden place in the airport (not easy) and put my hood up to hide myself a bit before I allowed myself this. T Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 But, you guys show some emotion of sadness. My bf makes it seem like nothings happening. He'll go on the next day and the next as if nothing ever happened while I go through the next couple of days completely depressed and heart broken. Although this time I'm not as sad as I was before for some reason lol. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 But, you guys show some emotion of sadness. My bf makes it seem like nothings happening. He'll go on the next day and the next as if nothing ever happened while I go through the next couple of days completely depressed and heart broken. Although this time I'm not as sad as I was before for some reason lol. The majority of the posters that responded here are female. That's the point we're trying to drive home. Most of us, being women, are more than comfortable shouting to the rooftops how much we miss our SO's, whereas our men prefer to keep it hidden. That's more than likely what's going on with yours. The men who've replied have stated they do the same, try to stay strong, etc. As for how you're coping this time around, that can either be a really good thing or a really bad thing. Either you're getting used to dealing with the distance better, or worse, something has changed to make you not be broken up about it as much. Only you will be able to tell which one it is. Link to post Share on other sites
cobyb44 Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 there are people, specially men that can't cry, for example. My boyfriend never cries when we say goodbye, but I don't need his tears to feel his pain and sadness. Don't u agree? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I always cry whenever we part. He never cries, sheds a tear, or looks sad. It just seems like a normal thing to him. I'm a bit offended. He looked sad once the whole 2 years we've been long distance when we parted...just once lol. I'm just concerned that if he doesn't show sadness, if that means he doesn't care for me as much in your opinion. I think how he is the majority of the time is more important than singular isolated incidents imho. He may just steel himself off because it is hard and painful. Not everyone handles it the same way. If he is thoughtful, affectionate, open and loving the rest of the time - then that should be your true indicator of his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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