zig Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 This is an extension to the post 'do you see the red flags in hindsight' I'm getting better at it but I tend to be more attracted to the superficial things early on in a relationship. I guess everyone does in the beginning. Looks, having fun, she's cool ect. I've launched from a few casual relationships because I wasn't enchanted and romanced. Then I look back and think I really should have given it a chance. I'd suddenly realize all the important qualities about that person I wasn't able to see when I was dating them. Anyone else experience this?
welikeincrowds Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Anyone else experience this? Yes. Sometimes it's in the line of "Jesus, welikeincrowds, you ****ing idiot." Other times it's just nostalgia, and really, it didn't work out for a reason.
Author zig Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Yes. Sometimes it's in the line of "Jesus, welikeincrowds, you ****ing idiot." Other times it's just nostalgia, and really, it didn't work out for a reason. LOL, I'd have to admit I've said the same to myself a few times. "Jesus, Zig, you ****ing idiot, why did you let the girl slip through your hands"!
Woggle Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I mentioned in the thread about NYC about how I worked with a woman who was everything I would go for today but for some reason I thought my ex was the better choice. When I think about it though if I never went through what I did I would not be with my wife. I feel that I had to go through what I did to get to this point.
Confusedalways Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 OMG- this happened to me SO BAD once that it turned into a verb among my friends. This guy- it was so clear to everyone but me he was into me. A year or two later I totally saw it. Now, everyone in my group of friends is careful not to get "Ryan'ed" -- sigh. Poor kid was obviously very into me. I always ALWAYS wonder what my life would be like if I realized it at the time. Of course, I will never know. Now a days I am much more in tune with men, as to not get Ryan'ed again
Author zig Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 When I think about it though if I never went through what I did I would not be with my wife. I feel that I had to go through what I did to get to this point. I feel the same and although I'm not married yet if the time ever comes I think I'll be able to make a good choice on the matter. It took a lot of hard knocks for me to understand what to look for and what not to look for. Unfortunately, I've passed up some decent women over the years. I'm still drawn to the queenies but I'm getting better.
Woggle Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 My divorce cured me of my drama queen addiction very quick.
Author zig Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 My divorce cured me of my drama queen addiction very quick. I need you to send me some of that potion over this way. I'm still attracted to the fun, sassy, cool, queenies. I know it's not what I want but it's like a drug to me or something.
Woggle Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I need you to send me some of that potion over this way. I'm still attracted to the fun, sassy, cool, queenies. I know it's not what I want but it's like a drug to me or something. Fun and cool and trustworthy and loyal are not mutually exclusive traits. Try to remember that. When I look back my ex was a miserable and depressed person the entire time which I somehow thought made her all deep and mysterious. Her life is one big drama after another while the women who had the crush on me was just full of life and energy. Like an idiot I chose the drama queen. My current wife and I have a ball and live a very exciting life without all the drama and pain.
Author zig Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Fun and cool and trustworthy and loyal are not mutually exclusive traits. Try to remember that. The girl I was recently with was fun and cool but didn't show to be trustworthy or reliable. If I find a girl to be cool and fun but has really shady character I'll keep hanging around!!! My emotions and feelings dictate me in a way that I can't let go of her no matter what. I want to be able to develop that MENTAL ability to say 'no thanks' to a girl even when my emotions ARE involved with her. I've made huge steps in the right direction on this but still need work. Any suggestions?
Woggle Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 The girl I was recently with was fun and cool but didn't show to be trustworthy or reliable. If I find a girl to be cool and fun but has really shady character I'll keep hanging around!!! My emotions and feelings dictate me in a way that I can't let go of her no matter what. I want to be able to develop that MENTAL ability to say 'no thanks' to a girl even when my emotions ARE involved with her. I've made huge steps in the right direction on this but still need work. Any suggestions? Learn how to think with the right head and never give up your self respect for a woman. Any woman worth having will never ask you to.
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