I hate my body

[insecure_girl]

I'm 5'6" approximately, and around 147 lbs. I want to lose at least 20 lbs. 30 max. The thing is, in general, I hate my body. I know I'm not fat, fat, or too overweight. But there are many things I hate. Well I hate my hair, I can only wear it at shoulder length, tops, 'cause I have very little hair and if I have it any longer it shows. My face is average, I don't like it, I have perpetual ark circles under my eyes even though I have a good diet and sleep well and enough! I don't think my face's very femenine Although I guess it's just normal, though not pretty or gorgeous.

 

I have small breasts, and these are of such concern to me. My ex liked big breasts better, and that sucked, even if he was with me, knowing he preferred big breasts and seeing him inevitably ogle big breasts or knowing he liked big boob porn really didn't make me feel great and appreciated sexually. Every guy out there I see is always speaking wonders of big breasts, from teen boys to almost elderly men. I think it's cultural. But cleavage = sexy, small breasts = high fashion (?). I've even heard men say small breasts remind them of prepubescent boys!

 

Well, my lower body's a mess! I have huge hips (the hip bones are big). And my butt is not very round or bubble shaped, even though I'm working on toning it. I wish it was rounder, if it's so wide, then at least it could protrude a bit more! My thighs are huge and they never seem to shrink! I also have cellulite both on my butt and thighs, and I have read there's no way to effectively get rid of cellulite, and that it's not a weight issue, so even if I lose weight it won't go away. it might even get worse

 

I also have inward knees.

 

I feel really ugly, but especially about my breasts, I feel they're so out of proportion. I have less than 36 inches (the "ideal size) around my chest, and approximately 39-40 around the hips! Should I get implants? I've noticed the size men seem to like the most is around a D cup. I also have large areolas, which I also have heard are unattractive.

 

Don't tell me that men don't think their "fantasy women" from porn and Playboy aren't attractive... or else they wouldn't use that to masturbate. I look nothing like that and maybe working towards looking a bit more like that would make me a bit more attractive and make guys more forgiving of my face and cellulite. I don't know. I mean sure guys like my personality, but like I said, it sucks when a guy is like "Honey I love you for your personality and all, but I can't help looking at cleavage or liking big boobs better!".

 

I feel more like a friend with that, it's such a turn off!

[tman666]

Just because you don't look like a Playboy centerfold doesn't mean that guys aren't going to find you attractive. Instead of implants, my recommendation is to work on improving your level of physical fitness. This could help you build self confidence in the long run, as well as potentially help sculpt the body you want. (By the way, squats and deadlifts are great for building a round butt).

 

In the end though, everyone has genetic distinctions and limitations that cannot be worked around. You need to learn to be comfortable with who you are in that regard.

[KingCrimson]

I'm sorry, but 147 lbs *IS* overweight for a 5'6" female, unless you're competitive rugby player, powerlifter, bodybuilder, or something of that sort.

 

Women carry more body fat rather than lean muscle, and muscle is heavier/denser. That weight would be ideal for men, who carry more lean muscle mass(due to genetics, more testosterone production, lifestyle).

 

In fact, 147 pounds would be ideal for a 5'6" male that weightlifts and does strength training and has a lot of muscle mass. It would be even less for a male that doesn't compete, lift heavy weights, or is very athletic. For example I lift weights (most strength-based, high weight, low reps. olympic lifting/crossfit/powerlifitng routines) and I'm 5'7", 140 pounds and wear a size 30/31 pants. For you, a woman, to be shorter, heavier, have less lean dense muscle, and a size 39/40 waistline... that's a bit much.

 

Your problems with your hips, butt, and thighs are almost certainly related to your weight and body fat %. What do you think that cellulite is? It's subcutaneous body fat.

 

Since you are not too overweight or obese, I'd skip cardio. Cut down your total caloric intake, elminate all sugar and stick to whole grain carbs, up the protein intake, and start lifting weights doing full-body, multi-joint free-weight exercises.

 

 

As for the boobs: Don't sweat it. We aren't that shallow. The one that are, aren;t worth it. If you want, you can buy clothes that help your image.

 

As for the hair: Invest in an appointment with a good stylist, get their recommendations. They'll know what works, what products to use, et.c. I'm a guy that's been going to the cheapo $10 haircut chain for his entire life But I never liked my hair. One day I went on yelp, found a top-rated salon that did men,and got a wealth of information (what kind of hair I have, what shampoo products to buy, difference between gel vs wax vs pomade and all the terms, and got a stylish cut). The $30 was well spent vs my usual $10 hack job done by a vietnamese lady that doesnt speak English.

Edited November 15, 2010 by KingCrimson

[insecure_girl]

Ok, that's good adivce, but I've always read that it's a must to combine cardio and weight lifting. I've been doing total body strength training 3x week, to start. I don't have much equipment since I'm just a college student, and I have no money to spend on a gym membership. I'm planning on buying one of those sets of adjustable dumbbells... a bit more versatile for my needs.

 

Anyway, I've been doing this three times a week:

 

Push ups (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lunges (12 reps per leg - 3 sets)

Reverse crunches (12 reps - 3 sets)

Tricep dips (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lying abduction (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lying adduction (12 reps - 3 sets)

Calf raises (15 reps - 3 sets)

 

I'm gonna create an alternate routine that targets the same muscles, to switch routines week to week. I also do 15 minutes of HIIT on weight training days (after weight training), and 30 - 40 minutes of moderate cardio on the elliptical on other days. I'm also eating around 1500 cals a day, spread on 5 small meals a day.

 

I only started last week, so we'll see.

 

Not to argue with you KingCrimson, but the guys I know are all about big boobs. They may not really dream of marrying a centerfold lookalike, but they certainly don't mind the proportions. I mean, most guys complain that centerfolds look too fake due to make up, and hair. And yeah, boobs sometimes. But I bet if guys could marry a beautiful, natural girl, with a 34D natural bra size, they would. Sadly I can't grow boobs, but I guess with my modes 34B, if I get implants I can get them to look a bit more real, since at least I have like a handful of tissue already. Guys around here have not been too critical of implants, my ex suggested I get implants and so did a couple of friends. I also hate my big areolas.

 

I mean I know it's normal to have preferences and all, but it seems ALL guys prefer big breasts around here! And while it's normal and it means nothing to THEM, well, in my experience, it really sucks knowing that for your partner, there's one area in which you'll always be lacking that you can't just fix by hitting the gym. I don't know, it just gets to me. Especially when guys praise big boobs and say "well, you can do things with them that you can't do with small boobs", stuff like that, or "there's more to grab" or "they're simply more attractive". I know they say it's meaningless and not a requirement, but yeah, it just gets to me. And I'm anti false advertising (ie. playing with clothes to create optical illusions, water/air/push up/padded bras, tissues, etc.)

 

Oh and my hips are like 39 - 40 inches. My waist is like 26.5 - 27 inches.

 

And about cellulite... well, even skinny women can have it, even female athletes. It's true it can improve, but it's not a given. I hope my work out routine works, although I'm mostly doing it for losing weight, but yeah, I hope it at least decreases it a bit.

[Eeyore79]

I'm sorry, but 147 lbs *IS* overweight for a 5'6" female

 

I'm 5'6", weigh 133 lbs, and I feel that I'm overweight. Ideally I'd like to be around 120-125 lbs. I have been fat before; at my heaviest I was about 147 lbs, and I was enormous, so if you're 147 lbs you probably need to drop a few.

 

When I was fat, my breasts were 36C; they've since reduced to 34B as I've lost weight. Despite them being small, men still comment on them because they're so perky and perfectly shaped. I wouldn't swap them for big saggy boobs; for one thing I wouldn't be able to go bra-less any more!

[Yer_Blues]

Everything gets better with weight loss. I'm down over 100lbs at this point and getting closer to my goal, and a lot of my least favorite attributes have improved significantly.

 

You may end up way better looking than you think, you may not be stunning (can't really make that distinction blind), but its definitely worth the effort.

[insecure_girl]

You're so lucky Eeyore79, my boobs are already like a 34b, they will probably only get smaller

 

They also have ugly, big areolas, which men don't like. I hate them.

[mooninite]

Ok, that's good adivce, but I've always read that it's a must to combine cardio and weight lifting. I've been doing total body strength training 3x week, to start. I don't have much equipment since I'm just a college student, and I have no money to spend on a gym membership. I'm planning on buying one of those sets of adjustable dumbbells... a bit more versatile for my needs.

 

Anyway, I've been doing this three times a week:

 

Push ups (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lunges (12 reps per leg - 3 sets)

Reverse crunches (12 reps - 3 sets)

Tricep dips (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lying abduction (12 reps - 3 sets)

Lying adduction (12 reps - 3 sets)

Calf raises (15 reps - 3 sets)

 

I'm gonna create an alternate routine that targets the same muscles, to switch routines week to week. I also do 15 minutes of HIIT on weight training days (after weight training), and 30 - 40 minutes of moderate cardio on the elliptical on other days. I'm also eating around 1500 cals a day, spread on 5 small meals a day.

 

I only started last week, so we'll see.

 

Not to argue with you KingCrimson, but the guys I know are all about big boobs. They may not really dream of marrying a centerfold lookalike, but they certainly don't mind the proportions. I mean, most guys complain that centerfolds look too fake due to make up, and hair. And yeah, boobs sometimes. But I bet if guys could marry a beautiful, natural girl, with a 34D natural bra size, they would. Sadly I can't grow boobs, but I guess with my modes 34B, if I get implants I can get them to look a bit more real, since at least I have like a handful of tissue already. Guys around here have not been too critical of implants, my ex suggested I get implants and so did a couple of friends. I also hate my big areolas.

 

I mean I know it's normal to have preferences and all, but it seems ALL guys prefer big breasts around here! And while it's normal and it means nothing to THEM, well, in my experience, it really sucks knowing that for your partner, there's one area in which you'll always be lacking that you can't just fix by hitting the gym. I don't know, it just gets to me. Especially when guys praise big boobs and say "well, you can do things with them that you can't do with small boobs", stuff like that, or "there's more to grab" or "they're simply more attractive". I know they say it's meaningless and not a requirement, but yeah, it just gets to me. And I'm anti false advertising (ie. playing with clothes to create optical illusions, water/air/push up/padded bras, tissues, etc.)

 

Oh and my hips are like 39 - 40 inches. My waist is like 26.5 - 27 inches.

 

And about cellulite... well, even skinny women can have it, even female athletes. It's true it can improve, but it's not a given. I hope my work out routine works, although I'm mostly doing it for losing weight, but yeah, I hope it at least decreases it a bit.

 

Remember, weight itself is an arbitrary #. It all depends on your actual body fat %. If you were 147 and <10% bodyfat, that'd be good. 147 and > 30% bodyfat would be fatty fat fat. For reference, on most males, <10% bodyfat is when you can start to see visible abs and a six-pack, and that "V-shape" you get at the obliques.

 

Also, remember this:

- You CANNOT spot reduce fat. Meaning, you can't do endless crunches to get rid of belly fat. Fat is stored according to genetics. You can't control how you store or get rid of it. Same reason why some people tend to store fat around the waist, some around the hips or ass, some in the legs, somein the arms or face. Same reason why men and women have different bodies. In fact, working your abs with a nice cushiony layer of fat over them will only make your gut stick out more.

 

I said you can skip cardio because you're not too fat and have a ton of weight to lose. You're also not a bodybuilder trying to cut that last fit of stubborn fat before a show, and needs cardio to push him over the edge. Cardio also only burns as many calories for as long as you do it. When you lift and break muslce fiber, you're body is rebuilding it self for the next 48 hourd at least, as a result you continue to burn more cal. Also, muscle burns WAY more calories per day than fat, so just having more muscle in the long term ups your metabolism.

 

Eat at a calorie deficit (you eat less than body burns) and you WILL lose fat and muscle. You should lift and up the protein intake only to minimize muscle loss. Remmeber, you can't lose fat and gain muscle at the same time.

 

 

I'd get rid of the last 3 exercises and instead do stuff like some type of rows (bent over barbell rows are the best, so are 1 arm dumbbell rows) or pullups/chinups. Back's the biggest muscle group in your body and you aren't hitting that at all. Deadlifts (basically picking something off the ground) are really helpful too to strnegthen lower back and simulate real life picking something heavy off the ground.

 

Remember, if you eat less calories than you burn, you will NOT gain muscle or bulk up, even if all you do is lift hard and heavy. So don't fear "getting big" or anything like that.

[Eeyore79]

You're so lucky Eeyore79, my boobs are already like a 34b, they will probably only get smaller

 

They also have ugly, big areolas, which men don't like. I hate them.

 

Your boobs are a B cup, same as mine. The 34/36 measurement is just the size of your ribcage.

 

Men like any kind of areolas, as long as they're allowed to put them in their mouths. Mine are about 2-3 inches in diameter and I've never had any complaints.

[sb129]

Your measurements are similar to mine but I am taller and a little bit lighter than you. I(5'8", 140lbs, B cup) was actually pretty pleased to get back to having a 28" waist and 39" hips!

I have recently lost weight to get here after having a baby last year, and I actually feel GREAT, I think I look good too- I am definitely not chubby or overweight I look athletic and healthy.

 

I am pretty toned now as I do weights 2X a week and cardio 3X a week, I have good definition in my arms and legs and torso, so keep that up. You need to do cardio to burn fat though, so you do need to do that too.

 

I am planning on losing a couple more kg as its summer now and I always drop a few over summer, its easier to eat less and get outside to exercise.

 

Its interesting that we are so similar, I wonder if we look the same at all. Perhaps the way we carry our weight is different.

[insecure_girl]

Your boobs are a B cup, same as mine. The 34/36 measurement is just the size of your ribcage.

 

Men like any kind of areolas, as long as they're allowed to put them in their mouths. Mine are about 2-3 inches in diameter and I've never had any complaints.

 

What I mean is when you were heavier, you were a C cup. Now that you're lighter, you're a B cup. I'm a B cup now that I'm fat... so I may end up being an A cup. Nothing wrong with A cups, I just don't think they'd fit my body shape, frame, and with the shape of my breasts and areolas, I don't think they'd look good either.

 

I think men prefer small areolas. Just look at most porn star or topless models. If these women are generally like this, then it must be because there's a demand for it. Which means most men like it.

[Enema]

Quit whinging about your boobs. I certainly hope you don't complain about them to your partners, what a turn off.

 

Even if you had big boobs with little areolas, there's a whole swathe of men that would wish you had little A cups. Different people like different things, don't focus on the group that don't want what you happen to have.

 

Another protip: Men are driven to like variety. My wife is a slim asian with DD's... you know what I look at when it's porn time? Everything else.

[Eeyore79]

The areola gets smaller when your nipples are hard. If you look at photos of porn stars, their nipples are always hard. Your breasts probably aren't that much different from mine.

 

I would say it's better to be slim with smaller breasts than fat with bigger breasts. Smaller breasts will appear proportionally bigger when you're slim anyway.

[Meaplus3]

Please remember that it's what's on the inside that counts tha most. Now.. if your unhappy with your figure.. you can always make a change to that. Working out.. diet.. mant things. Stay positive.

 

Mea:)

[tb24]

My ex was about your size for a while including wide hips (though she had 34d boobs). Although she was sexy, I wouldn't say she's the sexiest girl in the world but she has incredible eyes and smile.

 

I may be in the minority here but sure sexy girls are good but it's all about a pretty face I'm looking for in a girlfriend. After all that's what I get to look at all the time

[Els]

Remember, weight itself is an arbitrary #. It all depends on your actual body fat %. If you were 147 and <10% bodyfat, that'd be good.

 

You guys need to learn some basic physiology. <10% body fat is below the minimum functional amount a woman needs for basic physiological functions. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage . Stop trying to kill people with your advice.

[insecure_girl]

Quit whinging about your boobs. I certainly hope you don't complain about them to your partners, what a turn off.

 

Even if you had big boobs with little areolas, there's a whole swathe of men that would wish you had little A cups. Different people like different things, don't focus on the group that don't want what you happen to have.

 

Another protip: Men are driven to like variety. My wife is a slim asian with DD's... you know what I look at when it's porn time? Everything else.

 

A cups WOULD NOT fit my frame... I have huge hips, tiny As would look really disproportionate. I also have a small waist compared to my hips, so basically I would look even more like a pear. Or like "half an hourglass"... you know, big hips, small waist and no boobs...

 

I'm 22. Guys from my generation have been spoon fed images of slim busty women since the day they were born. I've NEVER met a guy who thinks smaller breasts are better or more of a turn on. My ex, for instance. He fell for my personality. Sexually, he liked that I was up for anything (within reason). But my breasts were not a turn on. He liked bigger better. He was a psychologist, he tried to give me the biological speech, and also, explained that it was social too, and he couldn't help that he had been spoon fed that "big breasts = sexiest" since he was a kid, and that he had grown up to like that better. He once suggested implants. So have some friends, whom I didn't even ask for their opinion about MY breasts, I asked them what they thought of small breasts and they told me to get implants, that I'd look better.

 

I hate it. I hate being with a guy who does not prefer my body type. I've been through that, and while it was nice that he was able to look beyond my appearance and love me for me and all that "feel good" speech, it definitely sucked that I always felt lacking in that regard, that he couldn't do certain things sexually that he wanted to do, and that he lusted more after busty females.

[havehope]

I think its natural for everyone to have something they don't like about them physically. For me, its my legs.

 

I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I try to think that God made me how I am supposed to be, that I should be thankful I even have legs... as some people don't.

 

Focus on feeling good about yourself, your kindness, other things to be proud about. Beauty is skin deep. Take care of yourself too - exercising helps release endorphins that will make you feel better.

 

Forget the guy who likes big boobs. Usually those people can be shallow. You want to be with someone who loves you for you and doesn't try to mold you into their ideal physical person. Thats so much unneccessary pressure! I mean, that kind of person is not good news: what happens if God forbid you had to get a breast removed for cancer?? You want to know he will love you, and his love won't depend whats on your chest. So forget big boob man. You want someone who loves you, not someone who only loves your boobs.

[Els]

 

Forget the guy who likes big boobs. Usually those people can be shallow. You want to be with someone who loves you for you and doesn't try to mold you into their ideal physical person. Thats so much unneccessary pressure! I mean, that kind of person is not good news: what happens if God forbid you had to get a breast removed for cancer?? You want to know he will love you, and his love won't depend whats on your chest. So forget big boob man. You want someone who loves you, not someone who only loves your boobs.

 

This..........

[Star Gazer]

I'm sorry, but 147 lbs *IS* overweight for a 5'6" female, unless you're competitive rugby player, powerlifter, bodybuilder, or something of that sort.

 

B.S. Where is your source for this? I know PLENTY of girls who are that height and weight who are most definitely NOT overweight. And good job making the OP feel better about that.

 

Everyone's body composition is different. I weigh a good 15 pounds more than many girls my same size, or even girls who are physically larger than me...and that was before I started CF. Now it's probably more!

 

Jillian Michaels is 5'2" and 120. If she were 5'6" she'd likely be the same weight... And there is no way in he-ll she's overweight.

[thatsonlyme]

Insecure girl, Just because most guys YOU KNOW like bog boobs doesn't mean anything! I for one, am not a big fan of big boobs. Honestly, they can look perfect when a girls is 18 years old, but they naturally start sagging later in life and that's a big turn off for me. I prefer smaller, perky breast but it doesn't mean I wouldn't date a girl with big breast. One can have preference, but when you really care about someone it doesn't matter.

 

Nobody is perfect, guys you date are not perfect! My ex gf was not perfect but I loved her to death! If I analyze her, her head had a weird shape, she had big mouth, her upper teeth were sticking out, her ass was not nice and round, she had cellulite and her boobs were small. Guess what, her personality was so great that guys were going crazy about her! For me, she was beautiful, but here I'm just trying to make a point and analyze her to details. If you look at every part of her body separately, she was nothing special, but the whole package was just awesome!

 

My point is, don't be insecure about your body. some guys love small boobs, or big booty's or whatever part of your body you don't like. You don't look like playboy models or porn stars, so what? Maybe you can't have the hottest guy on the planet, but most of us are limited to our choice of partners anyway! I'm not hot or rich and my aim is not to have the hottest girl out there. I still never had issues finding person who fits my criteria of good looks enough to date her.

Instead of trying to work on your body try to work on your self esteem. I've noticed that people generally get more attracted to me when I'm genuinely happy and in good mood. Your insecurity and low self esteem shows in your body language and affects your life more than your looks, trust me!

[insecure_girl]

But you noticed all those flaws about her. You thought other women were hotter, too. I mean, if a guy could get a perfect 10 girlfriend with an awesome personality, they would not have to settle for mediocre looks, like mine or hers.

 

I mean, my ex, he was perfect in my eyes. There were things he was insecure about, like his hairy chest, or the fact that he was like just 2-3 inches taller than me, the bit of beer belly he was growing, the fact that he wasn't muscular... but to me none of those were flaws. To me he was hot, he was like a sex god (as corny as that sounds), to me he was everything... Brad Pitt could've come knocking on my door for passionate sex, but in my eyes, my ex would've still won, hands down, 'cause in my eyes he was way hotter than Brad Pitt or any other actor... he was actually flawless to me... when I looked at him, I saw nothing I didn't like or that I thought he could've improved...

 

Maybe I'm just crazy.

[USMCHokie]

B.S. Where is your source for this? I know PLENTY of girls who are that height and weight who are most definitely NOT overweight. And good job making the OP feel better about that.

 

Everyone's body composition is different. I weigh a good 15 pounds more than many girls my same size, or even girls who are physically larger than me...and that was before I started CF. Now it's probably more!

 

Jillian Michaels is 5'2" and 120. If she were 5'6" she'd likely be the same weight... And there is no way in he-ll she's overweight.

 

I can attest to all of this. In my job, I frequently have to measure fitness levels and take the height and weight of females, and I often see very slim and fit looking women who weigh more than I would expect. They look very good and are not overweight by any means. So I don't consider a person's weight determinative of their body composition or physique.

[kiss_andmakeup]

But you noticed all those flaws about her.

 

Of course he noticed flaws in her...no one is perfect. Our flaws are what make us unique and human. You also quoted flaws in your ex boyfriend, but then stated that they didn't matter to you. The poster you were responding to did the exact same thing: he explained that while his girlfriend had imperfect physical attributes, they didn't matter to him and he saw her as beautiful.

 

As for the boob thing, flat out (no pun intended), it's just not worth worrying about. I have smallish boobs and used to be worried about it as a teenager. And who wouldn't? We grow up with various media around us that tell us MEN LIKE BIG BOOBS!

 

But the point is we aren't teenagers anymore. And neither (hopefully) are the men you're going to date. They're adults who live in the real world and see different sizes and shapes of women every single day. And chances are, most of them have seen plenty of attractive women with not so big boobs. A 34B isn't even that small. I understand that for your frame you think they're not "proportional" but this is not the be-all and end-all. Not having big breasts has never stopped me from attracting someone I'm interested in.

 

If your ex boyfriend remarked about your "small" breasts or "ogled" bigger ones in front of you, he's an idiot. But he's only one idiot. Don't let what he said or did inhibit the rest of your dating life (and at 22, your best years are just starting).

 

Continue with your workout plan, get in shape, and maybe even consider seeing a therapist. But QUIT stressing about the boobs. SERIOUSLY. It's not that big of a deal.

[thatsonlyme]

Yes, I noticed her flaws but because she pointed them out! I never considered any of this "flaws", it was just her, the most amazing and beautiful person in the world.

Btw, when you see other "super hot" girls, you usually see them dressed up, right? and all those models are photoshoped anyway! My ex was a go-go dancer, she looked perfect on the block and on pictures, but she would dress up in such way to make her breast appear bigger, her ass tighter...

you should dress accordingly, to accentuate your best qualities and hide flaws, there is nothing wrong with it. It's not hiding or lying, everybody does it. on a side note, when I met my ex she was a "sneakers" type of girl, wearing stupid shirts and pants... Still I fell in love with her.

Also, if I met your hypothetical perfect 10 with great personality, it doesn't mean I'd fall in love with her. I never thought about my ex as "settling down for mediocre qualities", it's just the fact that we all can find our match.

 

and since boobs are my favorite part of female body, I can't stress this enough, I find smaller boobs WAY more appealing than big ones!