Does it sound like my online bf is using me??.. Is there any chance he is sincere?

[akyinnar2010]

I have heard stories about online dating scams and I have been fully aware and did not trust my online guy completely. We have been talking for the past 6 months and we talked to each other daily. But we have never MET before. He seemed sincere and nice and we talked about future. We are living in different countries, and he said he will move to the country where I m living so that we can be closer and spend time together. He has been planning to start business in this city and he found a business partner from my city last few months. But last month, his partner backed out and then he started to whine about his business problem to me. I gave him so many ideas such as getting loan from a bank or loaning from a private party, etc. He said he tried all of those and none succeeded. He said he is asking all his friends and relatives. Later after few days, he told me that all his friends & family said they don't have the money to loan him and he needs to start his business as soon as possible coz all his savings will be finished if he does not start soon. He said his savings are also not enough to start his business and he needs more. He kept whining to me about it for a week or two. I kept giving him ideas and suggestions, he kept on giving some excuses saying he tried all of these and nothing worked out. Then he started asking if I can help. So I told him I won't be able to help him unless & until I know him in person. I m not stupid to send him money without meeting him and not knowing. Then he said ok, he will need my help when he comes and start his business in my city. Then I told him I will help him as much as I can after he is here. After few days, he asked me to confirm him the amount I can help since he needs at least $6000. I told him I don't have this much, but I ll try to help him with $1000-2000. Then he said it's not helping at all. I was so annoyed. What the hell.

Then a few days ago, he talked about it again, whining about his problem and saying he was not able to find the rest of the amount he needs and my promise to help him with $1-2k is not helping much as well, and he is in deep problem. Now his savings are also getting less and less. I just listened to him, in my mind a lot of suspicions. I lost my trust in him and he notices it. He told me that he knows I don't trust him, that's why I m not helping him more. I told him yes I dont trust you. Then I asked him, "what do you want from me?". Then he was so hurt and said that he is not a cheap guy, if he just wants to use me for money, he would have just looked for a rich girl. He knows that I m not rich and he is in love with me and he wants to spend his life with me, etc. I just listened but I didn't know what to believe.

Is he most likely to be a scam or a guy who will use girls for money or is there any chance that he is sincere???

[PandorasBox]

This is my advice to you. Block him from your email and IM screens. If he has your cell number and home number block him. If you can't block him, get your numbers changed. Move forward, don't look back.

[Kendrick]

One of the things that bother me, is the fact that he can't seem to get money from anywhere else. Why don't you ask him WHY he couldn't get any from the bank, maybe his credit is shot. Maybe his family/friends don't have that much either. Or maybe he is a moocher and borrows but wont repay.Maybe he should also just work and save up some money to be able to do what he needs to do. I do say something is fishy though.

[ReturnToSender]

Hes a scam for sure. Hes asking you for money and you havnt even met yet...and youre $1-2k isnt good enough for him? Hes lucky you even said that much. Check the ip address of his emails to you...is he in Nigeria or one of those other famous scammy places?

 

Who knows how many other women hes doing this to..may seem like hes invested a lot of time every day with you, but if he has a few women under his belt and if even a couple of them agree to help him with his business, then its well worth the time to build up a "relationship" and "trust"

 

I met my ex online, he lived in another country, and within one month he flew to see me...Im sure if you press him to visit, he will ask for money for the plane ticket...seeing a how his life savings is so depleted an all. Lets even say hes telling the truth..if his own friends and family dont want to help him, thats a pretty big sign you shouldnt either.

[Cee]

Run, run, run. Block him. This is a total horror show. He is looking for a sugar momma and he sees you as his golden ticket.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Do not send him any money for any reason.

 

If his advances continue to seem sincere, you are OK in maybe measure him for a while longer before fishing or cutting bait.

 

Whatever you do, tell him you won't send any money, and then do not send any money.

 

 

If he's a total scammer he'll leave to find one of the many others lined-up to happily become his next victim. If he sticks with you, don't soften your stance about the money, but at least admire his attention span.

[LexiB]

 

Assuming this post is even real, the question certainly can not be...

[CrestfallenNoMore]

Yes, it's a scam.

 

If a man is truly in love with you and, trying to make a good impression, the LAST thing he's going to do is confess he's broke and needs your help financially. I would never ask to borrow money from any of my friends or my boyfriend because I respect those relationships too much and would hate to create any potential for awkwardness or resentment.

 

Block, ditch and go. I'm sorry you are going through this, but happy you have a good head on your shoulders.

[Tressugar]

Don't do it! My father has taught me that women should never give money to a man. Men are suppose to be the providers.

 

I was in your situation before in an online relationship (different countries, never met, he was supposed to come to the U.S. etc.), but the guy told me that his father died and he needed money for the funeral. I sent the money like a dummy and never heard from my online boyfriend again.

 

Learn from my costly mistake. Don't send money to anyone online!