crazychick369 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I recently married the man of my dreams, hes such a lovely guy and would do anything for anyone, but I have a huge problem with his best friend. His best friend is a woman around the same age as he is (theres 10 years between us), who is in a LTR of her own, but she only really sees her partner at weekends and when they go on holidays together, and theres always huge grand gestures between the two of them etc (for example, last xmas he took her to Austria, this xmas its xmas dinner on the orient express...) My hubby is very good friends with this woman and has been for about 4 years or so, so much so that she was the best 'man' at our wedding. Hubby is always at the end of the phone for her no matter what her problem is, and it is starting to grate with me. I have a feeling she wants more than friendship from my hubby, and Ive seen a few signs recently that she is starting to take things a little too far with my DH and whilst i dont want to come in the way of their friendship I feel there need to be some boundaries set down... ... For example, when we got married, she hired a car to get DH to the venue, she told my DH's 3 kids they would have to travel with her partner as she was travelling to the wedding with my hubby. This I thought was very odd, surely his kids should have been in the car - after all theyre his flesh and blood. Also, my mom told me recently that at our wedding reception, every time I left the reception room she practically ran over to my hubby and dragged him up to dance or sat on his lap and things like that. More recently it was this woman's partner's birthday and she arranged a surprise party for him, she got very drunk and was flirting with my husband all night, he didnt to anything about her flirting at all but on the other hand he didnt stop her. At one point she came over and was holding hands with him and rubbing herself up against him, and later in the evening she put one of her legs up on the chair in front of him and stroked it quite provocatively and said she had aching legs as she wasnt used to wearing heels, and then she grabbed his hand and stroked her leg with his hand. Now my husband hasnt said anything at all about this and Im not sure if hes: a - trying to forget about it and pretend it never happened b - hiding something c - just a bit thick and didnt realise what was going on hes never done anything to make me not trust him but suddenly I feel very insecure and like this woman is trying to get more than she should be getting attention wise from my hubby What do I do for the best? My mom says I should confront her, my friends say talk to hubby and see if he thinks anything may be going on with her, but my thought is just to let it go and see if anything further happens, although i dont want to tempt fate.
PegNosePete Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 You should talk to your husband about this. He is the one who married you, and said "forsaking all others". The woman did not; she owes you nothing. Confronting her will just make you look like a jealous spouse trying to stop her "stealing" your husband. The fact is, husbands (and wives) are impossible to steal... when they cheat it is because they choose to, not because they have been stolen or forced or tricked into it. It sounds like he loves the attention. He is allowing it to continue which is not acceptable now that he's married. If he claims he doesn't realize what's going on then he is lying, it's pretty obvious. A woman sticking her leg up in front of you and stroking your hand up and down it, is understood by every man in the world.
Bryanp Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Why don't you ask your husband how he would feel if the roles were reversed? Your husband is condoning these actions by not saying anything. He is disrespecting you and your marriage.
Idalis Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Do not confront her! Do, however, have a serious conversation with your husband over this. I agree that he's thriving off the attention but maybe he doesnt realize how much it bothers you since you failed to tell him much earlier in the relationship. (Sitting on his lap at YOUR wedding for EX) I dont think you'd be coming "in the way of" their friendship as what they have right now is not a true friendship, its constant flirtation and that honestly needs to be stopped since it has no place in your marriage. No reasonable guy should think that this behavior with a friend of the opposite sex is acceptable.
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