stoploss11 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Why do I always feel like an idiot? I have an IQ of 172 but an emotional/relationship IQ of -4. Seriously though, nothing makes sense. Don't know where to post of if to post but I am hurting so much more than i need to be. Quick of it... She lives w baby's dad still. Was due to have mom move an move in with her to help her w the baby and life in general. Mom back out and she pulled away from me, and emotionally shut down. Happened a second time, not sure the reason this time. But the BD (baby daddy) is abusive and emotionally degrading. Blah blah I know, no excuses for her but she is afraid. I do think this second time she shut down she attempted to make it work with him or maybe just play the Happy House Life so he eased off her. Obviously everyone in her life knows she has a baby and lives w BD, but yet she went so far out of her way to be with me. To tell her mom, cousin, friends etc about me and that she wants to be with me...but what ever happened she just shut down. Never left her room at work and in 6 weeks I saw her twice and she put her head down both times. (to be honest she looked like hell) but then at times she was walking about and getting walked out by a friend from work and it hurt and made me jealous) He is attractive and they've known each other for years and he admittedly wants her and has chased her for years. But nothing ever happened. And he is not me. But he comes back tomorrow after 2 months gone from our office, he was demoted and brought back to our building. I know they will talk all the time and he will walk her out, and I'll just have to ignore it and suck it up. Someone said she can talk to him because she never got emotionally invested with him and it never crossed a line w him. ...sorry, all that just came out. The point to writing tonight is the last few weeks. I've sensed why I never saw her and why she avoided me is because I've caught her staring at me several times in the last few weeks. Maybe she didnt want to see me becasue she didnt want to have those feelings surface. Then after 3 weeks of NC on Halloween at the office she brought the baby in and came over to my desk and put her down to walk. (she wasnt walking when we stopped talking) I smiled and gave the baby a few minutes of attention but never looked up at Mom or said anything to her. She went down the way to see her boss and when exiting my room I saw he but tried not to look at her, and the baby recognized me and pointed and started smiling and laughing and speaking baby nonsense. (it made me cry a lil) Then that other dude came in teh building and followed her around like a puppy dog....arg 30 mins later she came back in and straight over to my desk again and played w baby. Again I fussed w baby (shes adorable) and didnt say anything to mom. The other dude came over to her again and a lil later walked her out..... the whole next week I was hanging low, only saw her a few times but continued to ignore best I could and not acknowledge her. Now last week, well over a month NC. I get called over the intercom. I was late for a client lunch and they were picking me up so I sprint down the hall and she is out there smiling and staring as I pass and she laughs. Tues I see her turn a corner in front of me and look back. she looks back again and then fusses w her pants and jumps and stops. turns back and starts talking to me. It was hard, I remained aloof and responsive and polite but not offering anything of my own. Again it was hard. Because I still think shes in love w me. And I obviously am w her. ( my mate also said she came in twice while I was at lunch and clearly looked over at my desk) Wed I didnt see her except her back in the lot going to her car. Thurs. We almost crach into each other like 4 inches apart. We freeze, i break it and start to walk away. She starts talking to me. This time only a couple minutes and people were turning corners and talking to her and then I turned and walked away. Friday, I saw her once in my room from a far and she looked over at me while walking with her bosses. Now...clearly i'm venting and looking too much into things but I just needed to air it out. Am i doing the right thing? Continue to ignore and act aloof? I don't want to be her friend. It would be way too hard.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Maybe not act completely "Aloof" but do move on unless she leaves the relationship and has some time to heal. Don't be with someone that is looking for an escape hatch from a relationship, that isn't stable.
half_ofa_heart Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Why do I always feel like an idiot? I have an IQ of 172 but an emotional/relationship IQ of -4. Sorry, I haven't read your entire post yet but I literally laughed out loud when I read the above... Made my day!
OpenBook Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Why do I always feel like an idiot? I have an IQ of 172 but an emotional/relationship IQ of -4. HA! Story of MY life. You're not alone!
East7 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Why do I always feel like an idiot? I have an IQ of 172 but an emotional/relationship IQ of -4. IQ has nothing to do with Emotional Quotient EQ. IQ is about logics and ability to solve a concrete logical problem. EQ is about recognizing your own emotions and mastering them. If I can say it more simply, it means that you don't let your heart rule your brain.
justaname Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 that's statistically one in a million. in fact, the stanford-binet score only goes to 160. i'm not saying you're not smart, but... huh.
East7 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 that's statistically one in a million. in fact, the stanford-binet score only goes to 160. i'm not saying you're not smart, but... huh. I confirm IQ 170 is HUGE ! 120-130 is already a very respectable score for a good mathematician.
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