Author tigressA Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Caffeine taken intravenously. Argh, my mind is officially a total cesspool and it's all his fault! In just a week I've been conditioned to think of practically everything he says--and anything anyone else says--with an undertone of innuendo. :lmao:
Author tigressA Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 I have a gut feeling that this is dead already. We IMed a couple times since Sunday, last time being last night, but the convos were very brief and he seemed distracted, particularly last night--his response times were really delayed. I had initiated both conversations, and ended both of them because he seemed so distracted. Additionally, he's been really active on OKC--on it a lot during the day, etc, answering questions, taking tests. I've been doing the same and we're both in each other's favorites list; that's how I know. It's likely he's looking for others, given how our interactions have changed. I'm just going to let it die. Not contacting him anymore. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Plenty of other fish in the sea.
GooseChaser Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Hmm, you're sure that's what you want, Tigress? There might not necessarily be low interest on his end. If you don't like the delay of IMs, you could try phone calls instead. That would also give the benefit of hearing the person's voice. It can be easy to miscommunicate over text. Also, if you have concerns, you can always talk to him about them, and hopefully he would listen and things would get better. Doing that can really help to strengthen a relationship. Do you really want to give up now? He might not even be aware that anything is wrong. If he hasn't asked you out, you could take the reins and invite him somewhere cool: a favorite restaurant, somewhere outdoors, or something that you know that he likes.
Author tigressA Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 I really think the best thing is to let it die on my end. The change in our interactions is like night and day. We talked every single day last week, him initiating nearly all the conversation, up until Saturday, when I went to see him. After I came back Sunday, I initiated two conversations and both times he seemed quite distracted, very unlike how things were last week. And he's on the site for long stretches of time; he could send me a message or two, but doesn't. It's pretty obvious to me that he's no longer interested. Time for me to move on.
John018 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I'm just going to let it die. Not contacting him anymore. Good to see you rebounded successfully.
GooseChaser Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Not everyone talks every day to their partner in a relationship. Sometimes people are just busy. For example, my boyfriend was more busy than usual last weekend with work, probably because of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. However, I know that everything is okay, and I look forward to seeing him this weekend! In your case, though, you say that his behavior went through a dramatic change. That is significant and good to make note of. Well, do what you feel is best!
DontWorryBHappy Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Ugh, it really pisses me off to hear about how such promising dates just lead to things dying suddenly. People annoy me.
Author tigressA Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Ugh, it really pisses me off to hear about how such promising dates just lead to things dying suddenly. People annoy me. It's not a big deal. It sucks a little bit, but it was only two dates. I could have another date this weekend if I wanted to enough.
LittleTiger Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Sorry to hear that tigressA. Is it possible that 'the inevitable' was all he was after?
Author tigressA Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Sorry to hear that tigressA. Is it possible that 'the inevitable' was all he was after? It does seem likely that that's the case, what with how things have changed since then. I'm not too down over it. It was nice while it lasted.
northern_sky Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out, but I'm impressed by your resiliency. I always find it remarkable the amount of effort some guys will go through just to get laid.
jerbear Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Sorry to hear. I know what you mean about spooning.
Author tigressA Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 I didn't make it difficult. I knew it would happen going in. I wanted it to. I don't blame anyone here. I had a nice time...we want different things. That's all there is to it.
johan Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 (edited) I think you gave it up too soon. I think you might do that a lot. I've seen you write about several different guys over the course of the past months, all of whom you had sex with. None of whom you had meaningful relationships with. I get the impression your sex drive is above normal. That's ok if it's just in your personality to be a sexual person. It's a concern if it's a way for you to get approval from men, and even more so if it's the primary way for you to get approval from them, and even more so if it's a compulsion. I don't know for sure that any of that is a concern, but I don't think it's something to dismiss at this point. Another interesting bit of evidence is your avatars. Again: ok if you're just proud of your body. But a concern if you feel that acceptance for your looks is the only acceptance you can count on. You are sacrificing your anonymity for the sake of showing your beauty to us all. I appreciate it for what it is. But I worry a little bit about what it might cost you. If your trend continues, you'll have a date within days. You'll be having sex again within a couple weeks. And you'll stop seeing whoever it is within a few weeks of that. Edited November 24, 2010 by johan
Author tigressA Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 I appreciate your thoughtful post, Johan. Yes, my sex drive is above normal. Yes, I am proud of my body. No, I don't feel a compulsion to use either to get approval from men. I never regret any of my encounters. I do what I want when I feel like it, and I accept the consequences, whatever they may be.
Star Gazer Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I think you gave it up too soon. I think you might do that a lot. I've seen you write about several different guys over the course of the past months, all of whom you had sex with. None of whom you had meaningful relationships with. I get the impression your sex drive is above normal. That's ok if it's just in your personality to be a sexual person. It's a concern if it's a way for you to get approval from men, and even more so if it's the primary way for you to get approval from them, and even more so if it's a compulsion. I don't know for sure that any of that is a concern, but I don't think it's something to dismiss at this point. Another interesting bit of evidence is your avatars. Again: ok if you're just proud of your body. But a concern if you feel that acceptance for your looks is the only acceptance you can count on. You are sacrificing your anonymity for the sake of showing your beauty to us all. I appreciate it for what it is. But I worry a little bit about what it might cost you. If your trend continues, you'll have a date within days. You'll be having sex again within a couple weeks. And you'll stop seeing whoever it is within a few weeks of that. Awesome, awesome, awesome post...and SO SPOT ON, for some other posters, but not Tigress.
OceanGirl Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Actually, I thought it was spot on for Tigress. She has been repeating the same pattern ever since I joined LS. Again, Star shows a complete positive/negative bias towards certain posters that she likes and towards those that she doesn't like.
Star Gazer Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Actually, I thought it was spot on for Tigress. She has been repeating the same pattern ever since I joined LS. Again, Star shows a complete positive/negative bias towards certain posters that she likes and towards those that she doesn't like. I'm not biased towards anyone, OG. You think I don't like you just because I disagree with your choices and behavior, but you're wrong. I do like you, a lot actually. Yes, she has patterns. She jumps into bed fairly quickly, but she moves on just as quickly, without a lot of heartbreak and torment. Why is this? Because there's a big huge difference between a woman who loves sex and enjoys her sexuality and the "thrill of it all" while it lasts (TigressA, Lizzie60, et al.), and a woman who uses sex as a replacement for love and validation of her self-worth.
johan Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Awesome, awesome, awesome post...and SO SPOT ON, for some other posters, but not Tigress. Well, as a rule I'm not wrong about stuff. You know that. Actually, I thought it was spot on for Tigress. She has been repeating the same pattern ever since I joined LS. Again, Star shows a complete positive/negative bias towards certain posters that she likes and towards those that she doesn't like. I figured some might agree with me. Particularly those who have come to know how I'm generally right. But I don't think it's important to point out Star's mistake.
Citizen Erased Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Actually, in my experience J is pretty much always spot on. It probably wouldn't hurt to consider what he said.
OceanGirl Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Actually, in my experience J is pretty much always spot on. It probably wouldn't hurt to consider what he said. Yeah, I like his insights. I do believe that TigressA genuinely enjoys sex and is not doing it to get/keep a man. However, I think that she wants a lasting relationship. Obviously, with repeating the same behavioral patterns she is not getting what she wants. If she is truly happy with having a series of meaningless flings that go nowhere, then I withdraw my statement.
Author tigressA Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 Honestly, I'm not even sure I want a lasting relationship. Perhaps that's why I keep repeating these patterns of behavior. I think if I truly wanted to be in a long-term relationship I would change my M.O., but I don't.
Star Gazer Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Honestly, I'm not even sure I want a lasting relationship. Perhaps that's why I keep repeating these patterns of behavior. I think if I truly wanted to be in a long-term relationship I would change my M.O., but I don't. FWIW, I don't think you do. You're going through your self-involved/selfish phase (and I say that lovingly), and that's perfectly okay.
johan Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Is there another side to you we should know about, Star? It seems like there might be more than one crush going on in this thread.
Star Gazer Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Is there another side to you we should know about, Star? It seems like there might be more than one crush going on in this thread. I wish there was. I got nothin' right now.
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