LittleMike Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted a while back, long story short, my relationship was somewhat similar to the 500 days of summer movie, except i could tell that she really really loved me. She had 4 previous BF which cheated on her then i came up as the emotional pillow rebound, but our relationship was almost perfect. She ended up dumping me because she wanted to be free for a while, maybe she was scared of a serious relationship too. This was 5 months ago. Ive had little Contact with her but i try to make it short and friendly, she also does the same, tries to look for an excuse to finish chatting, however stupid it is. I can't go fully NC because we study in the same college, also she is my house-mates really good friend. He says she asks about me and says that i look hot, almost as if she desires me(i'm at my best shape of my life). Iv'e talked to her in person and she looks me deep in the eyes with a spark of desire and stares at me while i'm not looking. Iv'e been doing a good job of keeping it cool and while my desire for her is still strong i don't think about her and don't feel that bad stomach feeling anymore. I don't want to know about her anymore and looking at her Facebook is a big NO NO for the new guys, i did it in the first month of the breakup and it makes things worse for the healing process. Anyways, i heard yesterday from a friend of mine that 3 weeks ago she hooked up 2 or 3 times with a somewhat friend of mine, it didn't hurt as much but i can still feel it. I just wish she would start thinking about what she lost. She used to talk about me all the time to her family and friends and how good i was to her. She's been acting like a 15 yr old party animal lately and i really hate that. She text's me sometimes to see if i'm going to hang out as if she's trying to fish me(is this written correctly???) but she talks with me 2 or 3 minutes every 2 weeks or so and tries to blow me off with an excuse??? I really don't like the idea of being Plan B, if she want's me back she's going to have to prove it and fight for it.
Rak Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 You sound like a good guy. In a nutshell - move on to someone who really appreciates you.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 LittleMike you got spirit so hold onto it. So many of us get deeply defeated by rejection but it sounds like you have a good grasp on your self worth and she hasn't succeeded in destroying it. She may have dented it a little but you still sound strong. The more you can avoid contact with her the better. It will allow you to see her even more objectively. So no, no more peeking at her Facebook and ignore her texts as much as possible.
Author LittleMike Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 She called me this afternoon while i was surfing so i couldn't pick up. My friends tell me she want's to ask me to do a favor for her, to complete a take home test she has to do for monday in the area of specialty that i'm studying. I would like to help her, as it's in my blood but i don't want to be used anymore. Also as a matter in fact i'm pretty mad at her. Whenever i see her and say hello to her, we talk for a minute or two but suddenly throws out these annoying and disrespectful comments which i am starting to get pretty pissed off. What really makes me mad is she does it in public. She was never like this while we were together, or maybe it's just me having changed. I'm a really reserved kind of guy and i almost never get mad, but iv'e changed in the last 5 months and i think it's healthier to speak up my emotions which right now convey to anger. She only seems to contact me just so i could do her a favor and i rarely pick up. She's also hanging out 4 times a week looking for whatever she can get with her 3 other friends who got dumped, pretty much, they are starting to look stupid and childish, screaming if they get a text from a handsome guy. BTW i'm not feeling jealous, they just look plain stupid and they are all in the mid 20's. So anyways... Should i speak my mind and let her know exactly how i feel about the situation or should i just tell her to **** off??? This will be the first time she's gonna see me mad at her which i know will come as a surprise. Maybe she'll even try and defend herself with some stupid argument.
mrbluenobody Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 (edited) LittleMike...dude...you're almost there! You don't need anyone elses advice...just go with your gut!! You don't deserve to be treated this way and no way in hell should you be jumping at any of her requests. The more available you are to her...the more you say how high when she says jump....the more you allow her to treat you like a doormat...the more respect she looses for you. Stand up for your bad self and let her know what you guys had is in the past and the things she's asking for are no longer your concern. Additionally, let her know that there are tons of women out there who would love to find a guy, like you, and will appreciate what you have to offer. You don't have to tell her to F*** off...just tell her exactly what you, already realize, you deserve and the situation should take care of itself. Of course....don't play any of her games in the future. Edited November 24, 2010 by mrbluenobody
Author LittleMike Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 I'm not gonna fall for any of her tricks. As i said, she's almost best friend's with my housemate so she visit's regularly about once every 2 weeks. She also loves to come over and play Call of Duty which i think is the main reason she visit's, she loves the game. She came over yesterday and asked me why didn't i call her (she never told me what it was, but i knew it was just to help her out with the test) and she also left a message on FB but i just ignored it. Told me that friends don't do that, but i was busy playing COD so i was kinda ignoring her. She ask's when was her turn and i told her as soon as i felt like not playing anymore, she sat there for a while, i guess there was alot going on her mind and she asks me this: "Do you hate me?". I just looked at her and kept playing, didn't say a thing, but it was funny though:D. After a while i just gave her the controller, she asks me if i could sit by her to give her tips while playing(she loved playing by my side), told her i was gonna exercise so i couldn't. After 20 minutes, she was gone, the guys told me that everyone was ignoring her so she got bored... I guess she's starting to see the changes in our friendship. Thanks for the advise guys, it feels awfully good just to write down my story, I't helps alot with the healing process. I would like a womans perspective on my story though, just to see what you think even though my plan is to stay strong.
Fern Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I'm a woman, here's my perspective - she's a bitch and you're better off without her. Write her off as a bad loss and hope she learns some lessons from this for the next poor sap she decides to victimise.
Author LittleMike Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 I'm a woman, here's my perspective - she's a bitch and you're better off without her. Write her off as a bad loss and hope she learns some lessons from this for the next poor sap she decides to victimise. I guess this is just what i wanted to hear.
Fufu Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Severed ties with her... You really really deserve better than being string by her all the way. And based on your description of her, she doesn't seem to be very serious in relationship. I know there are people like this who only going into relationship because they are afraid of being alone and single.
Author LittleMike Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Thanks for the advise everyone, it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative, everything helps. I always respect another's opinion or point of view either good or bad. I still have feelings for her which will dissipate as time goes by but if she's acting like a ***** then **** her.
Author LittleMike Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 So, she called me 5 times today, i took the call on her fifth try. Apparently she want's to throw a surprise party to my housemate in my house on Tuesday, she has some big cojones if i may say... after about 30 seconds i told her i was on the other line and had to go, she didn't like that one bit. So my answer will be NO, do it somewhere else. woopididoo, she want's to throw him a party on his birthday, if i remember well, she didn't go to my birthday while we where together, she wrote me "we need to talk seriously" that day, 2 days later it was over. I guess it was the G.I.G.S.
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