jimbo Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Met this woman on a dating site about 3 weeks ago. We actually did our first meet three days later. She then went away with some friends that weekend, next weekend she caught the flu (this actually was true. She sounded like she was dead sick). In between these few weeks, we've talked and texted a bit every few days. We then agreed to meet this past Friday. She calls me a few hours before we met and was extremely emotional about her day. She was going off on how her superiors were yelling at her and her co-workers, and it's been a hard day. Then she goes into one of her friends was sent to the hospital for a serious issue. She said she hates to do it, but she needs to cancel. The day was way to stressful and she just wants to stay home and relax. Obviously, I could not just say you want to do something at your or my house, as basically, we are still strangers. She then said I feel so bad and I am so sorry. You probably hate me now and never want to speak to me again. I can hear you are upset. I said, well, I was looking forward in seeing you again, but it's not a problem. Let's speak next week. Should I send a text to see how she's doing? Wait to see if she actually contacts me? Or what? I do not want to throw in the towel, but I also do not want to look desperate or pathetic. She's not logged into match since before we talked, so I do not think she's playing, but it's real hard to read some women these days.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Should I send a text to see how she's doing? ahhhhh.. No..... This much drama before the 2nd date... take the hint and excuse she gave you and move on...
Author jimbo Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Perhaps she was just having a bad day. I tend to learn toward optimism in life. Trying to add that into dating too. It's a battle to say the least.
johan Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Take her at her word. She should understand the next move is hers to make. So you should just let her make it. Or not. If she does, then you can express your concern.
Arabella Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 She sounds sincere. Clearly, it was a bad day for her and she chose to be honest about it instead of blowing you off with some excuse. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I honestly don't think she was giving you any hints that she isn't interested. If you really want to, give her a couple of days and then shoot her a text to see how she's doing. If she IS interested, she will try to make plans again.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Perhaps she was just having a bad day. Well.. I would assume that she is relaxed by now... have you heard from her ?
Author jimbo Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Yes, I am interested, however, since she broke the date, I believe she should be the one to contact me. Just as if I would had broken the date, I would had contacted her. She usually contacts me during the week, never on the weekend.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Is this what you want out of a girl you are dating ? Know each other for weeks.. Contact only on weekdays...never on weekends Text messages every few days. Only gone on one date. Cancels 2nd date just hours before pickup. Doesn't initiate contact even after canceling date.. Uses multiple excuses instead of just one. It doesn't sound to me that she is that interested in you.. One thing is for sure.. you are way more interested in her than she is in you.. I think she is dating another guy and just didn't have the heart to tell you.. Is this the kind of dating you want with a girl ?
Author jimbo Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 There's only been one meet. Not really expecting much after one meet. I have gone on other dates with other women during this time, nothing great so far. She contacts me once or twice a week. Not sure what you expect to receive after one meet. After three or four, I would expect more contact. However, I do not run after her nor any other woman. I guess, if she wants to contact me, she will. That is some excuse to make up just to break a date. Other's before just text or say can't come and do not say why.
tigressA Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 From what I read in your OP, you said to her "Let's speak next week." It's likely she took that at face value. I would give it a couple more days...if she doesn't contact you after that, call/text to check in and if she doesn't respond, move on. I agree with another poster that if she is interested she will try to make plans with you.
johan Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 This has stretched out over weeks, and you've only met her one time. You're being too patient and understanding. Write her off. Whether she's not interested or her life is too chaotic, the result is the same. The relationship is stuck in neutral.
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 You know, I went on a few dates with a guy once when my dad was very ill. On one date, I got a message from mum that he was taken to hospital. I started to cry in front of my date and was obviously distressed. I told him that mum sent a message and that I had to go to the hospital and be with my dad. Guy went nuts at me. He was telling me "how dare you leave in the middle of the date? do you really think I will buy that BS story? you got a text from another guy, didn't you?" I couldn't even show him the text because it was in another language. He tried to call later to apologize, but his reaction was a deal breaker for me.. If this girl is being sincere then a text to ask how she is feeling/doing - it will come off as sweet.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 This has stretched out over weeks, and you've only met her one time. You're being too patient and understanding. Write her off. Whether she's not interested or her life is too chaotic, the result is the same. The relationship is stuck in neutral. There's wisdom in this post...
Author jimbo Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 I do not think running after her is the correct approach. However, if she contacts me via text or cell, I'd be happy to setup that second date. She has to show some interest in seeing me again. Being nice, sweet, etc., really does not attract women; unless you just want to be friends.
Author jimbo Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 Just an update, been like four days, never heard back from her. Damn shame, guess she lost interest. Moving on.
johan Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Don't give up so easily. She's probably waiting for you to call! You need to buy her flowers. Flowers will fix it.
Author jimbo Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 You're kidding right? Why should I buy her flowers? She was the one who cancelled the second date.
Banker Chick Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 This sounds like me last weekend. I had a second date scheduled with a guy on Friday. Unfortunately about halfway through the day I got a headache that quickly turned into a migraine (I rarely get these). Still decided to tough it out but right before I left my 19 yr old daughter and I got into an argument and didn't have time to resolve it. So by time I drove the 30 minutes to dinner to meet him, my head was pounding and I thought I was going to cry replaying the incident with my daughter. I did tell him right away (only about the headache) and apologized I wasn't as "into" the date as I should be. He thanked me for coming anyway because he was honest that had I called to reschedule he would have been sure I was blowing him off. I did try to enjoy the date but in hindsight, I wish I had rescheduled. I didn't have fun and just wanted to get back home and lay down. I did text him when I got home that I was sorry again that I busted out my D game that early on and he thought that was funny and said he enjoyed my D game anyway We're going out again this weekend so we'll see what happens. It sounds like your chick is a flake but just know from my story not everyone that needs to reschedule or says they have stuff going on are lying.
betamanlet Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Met this woman on a dating site about 3 weeks ago. We actually did our first meet three days later. She then went away with some friends that weekend, next weekend she caught the flu (this actually was true. She sounded like she was dead sick). In between these few weeks, we've talked and texted a bit every few days. We then agreed to meet this past Friday. She calls me a few hours before we met and was extremely emotional about her day. She was going off on how her superiors were yelling at her and her co-workers, and it's been a hard day. Then she goes into one of her friends was sent to the hospital for a serious issue. She said she hates to do it, but she needs to cancel. The day was way to stressful and she just wants to stay home and relax. Obviously, I could not just say you want to do something at your or my house, as basically, we are still strangers. She then said I feel so bad and I am so sorry. You probably hate me now and never want to speak to me again. I can hear you are upset. I said, well, I was looking forward in seeing you again, but it's not a problem. Let's speak next week. Should I send a text to see how she's doing? Wait to see if she actually contacts me? Or what? I do not want to throw in the towel, but I also do not want to look desperate or pathetic. She's not logged into match since before we talked, so I do not think she's playing, but it's real hard to read some women these days. Ask her again how she is and if she wants to meet, if she flakes, move on.
westrock Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 She then said I feel so bad and I am so sorry. You probably hate me now and never want to speak to me again. I can hear you are upset. I said, well, I was looking forward in seeing you again, but it's not a problem. Let's speak next week. Not sure why you would have been upset.. people get sick, stuff happens. She is probably reluctant to contact you now because she thinks you hate her for her cancelling. She is waiting to hear from you that you are still intersted. Just an update, been like four days, never heard back from her. Damn shame, guess she lost interest. Moving on. It's possible she is saying the same thing about you! You said to her "let's speak next week" and now she has not heard from you. If you like her, call her and find out how she is doing.
Author jimbo Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 I swallowed my pride and texted her to see how she was doing. Some hours later she said she's doing better now and asked how I was doing. I said I was doing well. She replied back with good to hear, nothing else.
johan Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Ok. NOW you know without any doubts. If you contact her again, I'm going to smack you.
sagetalk Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I swallowed my pride and texted her to see how she was doing. Some hours later she said she's doing better now and asked how I was doing. I said I was doing well. She replied back with good to hear, nothing else. Girls can be one of the sweetest things that you could ever know, but when they lose interest, they can treat you like mud. It's something you have to get used to and move on. Why they just don't say they don't like you anymore is beyond me, but they rarely do. They just turn really really cold. The good about being a man in dating is when women lose interest they just stop talking to you, when many guys lose interest they just date another woman on the side .
dispatch3d Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 You know, I went on a few dates with a guy once when my dad was very ill. On one date, I got a message from mum that he was taken to hospital. I started to cry in front of my date and was obviously distressed. I told him that mum sent a message and that I had to go to the hospital and be with my dad. Guy went nuts at me. He was telling me "how dare you leave in the middle of the date? do you really think I will buy that BS story? you got a text from another guy, didn't you?" I couldn't even show him the text because it was in another language. He tried to call later to apologize, but his reaction was a deal breaker for me.. If this girl is being sincere then a text to ask how she is feeling/doing - it will come off as sweet. Yeah I really feel like some women really ruin it for everyone else. I honestly half believe at this point. I mean, I feel sorry for women who date cause they get the flu an unbelievably large amount of the time
lovebitme Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Just go with the three strikes and you're out rule.
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