Weird situation

[arctic]

Okay. I'm in my late twenties and broke up with my fiancee of four years about five years ago and it was a very, very, very intense relationship. I ceased all contact with her for years and then out of the blue I recieve an email from her a few weeks ago, talking about a song we used to listen to together. The email was pretty general and I responded to it telling her how I was going etc etc.

 

Anyway I recieve an email back from her a few days later and she was quite nostalgiac about the time we spent together, and also said she has had a new guy for about 2 years now. She also suggested we catch up for a few drinks. So I email her back a lot of general chit chat and suggest we catch up for a few drinks in a couple of weeks on the 20th.

 

That was 9 days ago and she hasn't responded to the email I sent.

 

Basically what I'm trying to figure out is why she would email me out the of the blue, drudge up old memories and get nostalgiac, suggest we catch up and then go silent on me? It's very confusing.

 

I don't know if I'm particuarly interested in getting back with her in any way and I don't want to interfere in her current relationship, but I thought it would be good to have a few drinks and see how she was going and maybe remain friends and all that.

 

Anyone got any advice on what she is playing at? Anybody been in a similair situation? Any advice or help would be appreciated

Edited November 15, 2010 by arctic

[DustySaltus]

Something is not right between them and she is taking a trip down memory lane to see her options. Why did you call of the engagement? I think that's a big part of how to handle this....

[arctic]

Something is not right between them and she is taking a trip down memory lane to see her options. Why did you call of the engagement? I think that's a big part of how to handle this....

 

 

When I broke up with her we were living together and started to go through a really rocky period. I was young in my mid twenties and really didn't know how to cope with it properly to be honest. Our relationship was really intense and very romantic. We always get nice hotel rooms together, go on trips all the time, shower each other in gifts and had a very active bedroom life together.

 

When we hit that ricky patch I basically s*** myself and instead of working through it, I left. In hindsight it was a massive mistake by me, as I really, really loved her.

 

And now she's back and trying to rekindle something I think. I really don't know what to do as part of me wants it, but the other part of me doesn't want to set myself up for a world of hurt and complications. I mean she has never been the type to cheat, but she is talking to me again and she does have a boyfriend now, so something must be seriously dysfuctional in her current relationship. Even so I don't want to get in the middle ot it and be an excuse for her to end it with him.

 

This is going to get messy and I really don't know what to do

[DustySaltus]

I think you've done all you can do. It's time to take a step back. I know being engaged is a powerful thing (I was once), but we have to let people have the ability to make their own decisions..