wicar1 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 (edited) I would like to hear from you guys. If you think sex or intimacy is lacking in your marriage, Would you try to find it outside? Would you try to find a fix for it by talking to your partner? Would you leave your partner (divorce)? which would be your first step, then second ... ? I find it hard to believe when people just start having affairs when they think they lack sex/intimacy in marriage? ...cause I ve been seeing threads saying exactly the same. I find this act selfish, cruel and dishonest? Do you agree? Isn't it better leaving your partner than to cheat him and cause him pain? if you think cheating is your choice, then what are the reasons for you to continue the relationship? Edited November 15, 2010 by wicar1
Darth Vader Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I would like to hear from you guys. If you think sex or intimacy is lacking in your marriage, Would you try to find it outside? Would you try to find a fix for it by talking to your partner? Would you leave your partner (divorce)? which would be your first step, then second ... ? I find it hard to believe when people just start having affairs when they think they lack sex/intimacy in marriage? ...cause I ve been seeing threads saying exactly the same. I find this act selfish, cruel and dishonest? Do you agree? Isn't it better leaving your partner than to cheat him and cause him pain? if you think cheating is your choice, then what are the reasons for you to continue the relationship? I'd do the best I could to talk it out, perhaps find out through doctors if something wasn't right, like hormonal imbalances and stuff. No, I wouldn't cheat.
quankanne Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 cheating is never an option, IMO, but I'm funny that way. Mind you, I can *understand* how someone gets to that point where they're frustrated and natural instinct tells them there's someone out there who is surely willing to put out when your spouse won't ... but that's when common sense kicks in and says, "Okay, so cheating's one possible option, surely there's something else you can do ... like TALK to your partner about this?!!!" I'd talk it out and see if we can come to a mutually satisfying compromise. More sex on his end, less nagging on mine? Agreeing to be more physically affection but not necessarily in ways that culminate in sex? Getting help from a sex therapist? Seeing a doctor about low hormone levels? There are so many avenues you can take before walking away from the relationship, and I'd be a fool not to explore them. If none of those don't provide a solution, then maybe divorce is the only answer. But never, ever cheating, because you're only selling yourself (and your partner) short.
Author wicar1 Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 wicar, I would definitely fantasize about cheating but in reality when push came to shove I seriously doubt I could pull the trigger and actually cheat. Feeling crappy about my relationship is the opposite of erotic to me. I might be mad or sad about what is going on in my marriage, but having those kinds of feelings is de-motivating for me in all kinds of ways. Probably the last thing in the world I would want to do is make the effort to actually look for something outside the marriage. Also, for me to take the risk of actually cheating, I would have to be able to find a superhot, non skanky, non-substance abusing, non diseased, not stupid, non crazy, very discrete woman to do it with. IOW I'd be very very choosy. And please tell me, are the type of women who cheat matching up with those traits very often? The perfect woman would have to become available at precisely my most vulnerable moment. How often does lightning strike, really? Most likely I would be disgusted by any woman who would actually be willing to cheat with me, not because I'm a disgusting guy per se, but because the act of cheating is disgusting. In reality it's far more likely that if I really need to have some sexy time with someone other than my wife I'd probably go get a hooker or something. -I would have to be able to find a superhot, non skanky, non-substance abusing, non diseased, not stupid, non crazy, very discrete woman to do it with. -The perfect woman would have to become available at precisely my most vulnerable moment lol... that's a lot of requirements.. I dont think you will cheat -In reality it's far more likely that if I really need to have some sexy time with someone other than my wife I'd probably go get a hooker or something but in such a scenario does the hooker has to be superhot, non skanky, non-substance abusing, non diseased, not stupid, non crazy, very discrete woman .. lol
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