bsilmb Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 ok so apparently I am really bad at knowing if a girl likes me. even if she drops hints, I go into a modest mode and deny anyone telling me that they like me. so I am sorta curious about this situation and possibly if this girl likes me. so I went out of town for a thing for newspaper with some people from my school. there was this girl who tried to talk to me because up until this weekend I had been quite shy. she made attempts to talk to me. I would reciprocate and eventually had normal conversations with her, unforced. she's a naturally friendly person but she did some things that made me think it was more than than just friendliness. for example: we were walking and these people wanted to start dancing (I know random) and she grabbed my hand and pulled me with them and tried to get me to dance. then one day we were walking to a class and we were talking with her other friend, also a girl. she then looked at me and said, "those girls back there were checking you out" I denied it and smiled, then she's like "look back ther" so I did. then she told me to point my butt at them when I picked something up, so I did xD then later that night she wanted me to do an example for the class, so she threw something on the ground. the class convinced me to pick it up, and when I did, I pointed my butt in her direction hahahah. minutes later she was like "I'm on fire" and in a way she was! she was turning red and got really warm. people started joking that I had an effect on her. and a guy friend and I were talking about it later that night, and he was like "oh yeah she definitely likes you" also, when we were walking one night when it was late and chilly, she put her hand on my face from behind to try to warm me up because I didn't have a jacket. she just playfully touched or punched me quite a bit on the trip. we also seemed to make a lot of eye contact. such as our group would be walking and Id look over and shed be looking at me or turn to look at me quickly. I usually just quickly looked away but would sometimes kinda smile. as we were leaving to go home, she was like "Jake, you are my favorite, you crack me up" and smiled. so what do I take from all this?? I'm a sophomore, she's a junior. we see each other maybe once a day, but she will most likely try to talk to me in the hallways more now. she never really talked to me up until about 7 days ago when te trip started. does she show any signs of liking me, and how?? and what are some signs that a grl likes you because I'd like to see if she has any of these signs. thanks so much!
runner Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 ok so apparently I am really bad at knowing if a girl likes me. even if she drops hints, I go into a modest mode and deny anyone telling me that they like me. so I am sorta curious about this situation and possibly if this girl likes me. so I went out of town for a thing for newspaper with some people from my school. there was this girl who tried to talk to me because up until this weekend I had been quite shy. she made attempts to talk to me. I would reciprocate and eventually had normal conversations with her, unforced. she's a naturally friendly person but she did some things that made me think it was more than than just friendliness. for example: we were walking and these people wanted to start dancing (I know random) and she grabbed my hand and pulled me with them and tried to get me to dance. then one day we were walking to a class and we were talking with her other friend, also a girl. she then looked at me and said, "those girls back there were checking you out" I denied it and smiled, then she's like "look back ther" so I did. then she told me to point my butt at them when I picked something up, so I did xD then later that night she wanted me to do an example for the class, so she threw something on the ground. the class convinced me to pick it up, and when I did, I pointed my butt in her direction hahahah. minutes later she was like "I'm on fire" and in a way she was! she was turning red and got really warm. people started joking that I had an effect on her. and a guy friend and I were talking about it later that night, and he was like "oh yeah she definitely likes you" also, when we were walking one night when it was late and chilly, she put her hand on my face from behind to try to warm me up because I didn't have a jacket. she just playfully touched or punched me quite a bit on the trip. we also seemed to make a lot of eye contact. such as our group would be walking and Id look over and shed be looking at me or turn to look at me quickly. I usually just quickly looked away but would sometimes kinda smile. as we were leaving to go home, she was like "Jake, you are my favorite, you crack me up" and smiled. so what do I take from all this?? I'm a sophomore, she's a junior. we see each other maybe once a day, but she will most likely try to talk to me in the hallways more now. she never really talked to me up until about 7 days ago when te trip started. does she show any signs of liking me, and how?? and what are some signs that a grl likes you because I'd like to see if she has any of these signs. thanks so much! you pretty much supplied your own answers, dude. now go make out with her, pronto !
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 you pretty much supplied your own answers, dude. now go make out with her, pronto ! she seems to be friendly with the other 2 guys. not as much so as she did to me, but still, I don't want to automatically assume she likes me. what do you think? and even if she does like me, his do I go about progressing thingswhen we do see each other??
welikeincrowds Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Reading signals/body language is a helpful little life skill, sure. But you don't really need it. You learn for certain where she stands when you ask her out on a date.
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Reading signals/body language is a helpful little life skill, sure. But you don't really need it. You learn for certain where she stands when you ask her out on a date. well it's kinda complicated, if I ask her on a date, it would just make things weird in the publication room. I need some sure signs that she like ME to make a move like that. how can ge those signs???
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 well it's kinda complicated, if I ask her on a date, it would just make things weird in the publication room. I need some sure signs that she like ME to make a move like that. how can ge those signs??? how can I GET those signs from her! my bad:P I mean how can I tell if she likes me? what can I do to get an idea of I she does or not?
welikeincrowds Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 well it's kinda complicated, if I ask her on a date, it would just make things weird in the publication room. I need some sure signs that she like ME to make a move like that. how can ge those signs??? Well, you can amp up your flirtation and pay attention to how she reacts, but therein lies something of the same problem. If she's not down to flirt with you, then it could make things awkward. OR, you can make an advance, and in the unlikely event that she rejects you, you can follow that up by letting her know that this doesn't mean that things need to get awkward in the publication room. It's only awkward if you make it awkward, particularly by avoiding the issue. Be friendly, understanding, and open to talking it out, and if it's still awkward for her from there, then that's her issue.
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Well, you can amp up your flirtation and pay attention to how she reacts, but therein lies something of the same problem. If she's not down to flirt with you, then it could make things awkward. OR, you can make an advance, and in the unlikely event that she rejects you, you can follow that up by letting her know that this doesn't mean that things need to get awkward in the publication room. It's only awkward if you make it awkward, particularly by avoiding the issue. Be friendly, understanding, and open to talking it out, and if it's still awkward for her from there, then that's her issue. alright, for now, the upping of flirtation seems like a good idea. according to y'all, she already flirts with me somewhat, ANSI talk to her and joke some. she seems to laugh at most things I say, even if I say things that aren't really that funny. and she does the touching thing. she always usually touches me to get my attention or if she doesn't she says hey and smiles. she kinda grabbed another guys and touches them to get their attention too, so maybe that's just how she is. I may be wrong, but I believe she shows more attention to me and laughs more and stuff like that. so how exactly do I add to the flirtation? WHEN I'm trying to get her attention, should I touch her lightly or something? I usually just talk to girls, I'm not much of a "flirt" so any advice would be great!
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 you pretty much supplied your own answers, dude. now go make out with her, pronto ! I don't think it's quite that easy. if you read some of the other stuff I said, I say how she seems friendly wit other guys too. not as much so as she seemed with me, but she's kinda tough to read.
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 anymore input before I fall asleep??
Green Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 you pretty much supplied your own answers, dude. now go make out with her, pronto ! This is some great advice, no sarcasm! Seriously if this guy had the balls to just do this though he wouldn't be on here asking for advice. but if he actualy just followed ur advice ACTION he would be set. Reading signals/body language is a helpful little life skill, sure. But you don't really need it. You learn for certain where she stands when you ask her out on a date. See this is beautiful advice and true. He is just so afraid of awkwardness and rejection. The truth is awkwardness is your friend "a girl will say yes just to avoid an awkward No and then you have a good chance to romance her" and Rejection lets you know where you stand. Asking a girl out also helps CREATE attraction where there was none. She might jut be a friendly girl but now HE likes her so he ASKS HER OUT and when she gets asked out she thinks I WANT TO GIVE THIS GUY A CHANCE I THINK I LIKE HIM. well it's kinda complicated, if I ask her on a date, it would just make things weird in the publication room. I need some sure signs that she like ME to make a move like that. how can ge those signs??? Then just forget it if thats the way you feel because even if she does like you things might fall apart after a few dates and then they would be more akward then if she just rejected you in the first place. My point is STOP BEING SCARED OF REJECTION. Be YOURSELF for a change in your life... THE CONFIDENT VERSION OF YOURSELF. YOu know the guy who isn't afraid to ask out a girl he likes and then try to kiss her on the date. Yeah flirt with her and then ASK HER OUT. I don't think it's quite that easy. if you read some of the other stuff I said, I say how she seems friendly wit other guys too. not as much so as she seemed with me, but she's kinda tough to read. who cares if shes friendly with other guys, maybe she likes more then one guy... shes a single girl its in her interest to be friendly and be noticed by a good number of guys. A lot of guys will be to scared of potential awkwardness and rejection to ask her out.
gypsy_nicky Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 (edited) Asking a girl out also helps CREATE attraction where there was none. She might jut be a friendly girl but now HE likes her so he ASKS HER OUT and when she gets asked out she thinks I WANT TO GIVE THIS GUY A CHANCE I THINK I LIKE HIM. not always. The hard part about your situation OP is that you are shy and she is friendly. Makes things a tad difficult to figure out whether she's flirting or just friendly. If youre pretty scared of asking her out on a date now, you may try feeling her out a bit more to see if she's truly interested- screening, qualifying her. Much as I hate to admit it, the tactics PUA's use are actually useful when your trying to judge whether or not a woman is interested in you. If she's still ambiguous after some time, then maybe you could jump the gun and ask her out. Edited November 15, 2010 by gypsy_nicky
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I don't think it's quite that easy. if you read some of the other stuff I said, I say how she seems friendly wit other guys too. not as much so as she seemed with me, but she's kinda tough to read. Ok, here's your problem (and it's a very common one): You're afraid of taking risks when it comes to girls. That's why you feel like you need unequivocal evidence that this girl is interested in you. Well you could just go along with things and she might well give you such an undeniable signal of interest, but you already know that there are other potential suitors hanging around. Do you really want to wait until one of those guys mans up and asks her out before you do? I think all guys know how nerve-wracking it can be to ask a girl out, but when you get some signals like the ones she is giving off, you should take that as your "GO!" signal to ask her out. Yes there's a chance she might say no, but that's a risk you should be prepared to take. And besides, just think how thrilling it would be if she says 'yes'.
Green Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 not always. The hard part about your situation OP is that you are shy and she is friendly. Makes things a tad difficult to figure out whether she's flirting or just friendly. If youre pretty scared of asking her out on a date now, you may try feeling her out a bit more to see if she's truly interested- screening, qualifying her. Much as I hate to admit it, the tactics PUA's use are actually useful when your trying to judge whether or not a woman is interested in you. If she's still ambiguous after some time, then maybe you could jump the gun and ask her out. He needs to take the risk and ask her out if he ever wants a chance at a date with her. It doesn't even matter if she says no or its awkward afterward. Ok, here's your problem (and it's a very common one): You're afraid of taking risks when it comes to girls. That's why you feel like you need unequivocal evidence that this girl is interested in you. Well you could just go along with things and she might well give you such an undeniable signal of interest, but you already know that there are other potential suitors hanging around. Do you really want to wait until one of those guys mans up and asks her out before you do? I think all guys know how nerve-wracking it can be to ask a girl out, but when you get some signals like the ones she is giving off, you should take that as your "GO!" signal to ask her out. Yes there's a chance she might say no, but that's a risk you should be prepared to take. And besides, just think how thrilling it would be if she says 'yes'. I get the feeling this guy has never asked out a girl before and that yes he is scared which is normal. The sad part is logicaly he isn't really risking anything if he just has the state of mind that he only has something to gain and nothing to lose and that its fun to try. Even if she says no that doesn't mean he can't try again if he ever gets the urge but I feel there is a good chance she would agree to dinner or mini golf or what ever he asks her to do.
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 He needs to take the risk and ask her out if he ever wants a chance at a date with her. It doesn't even matter if she says no or its awkward afterward. I get the feeling this guy has never asked out a girl before and that yes he is scared which is normal. The sad part is logicaly he isn't really risking anything if he just has the state of mind that he only has something to gain and nothing to lose and that its fun to try. Even if she says no that doesn't mean he can't try again if he ever gets the urge but I feel there is a good chance she would agree to dinner or mini golf or what ever he asks her to do. it's not that I've never asked a girl out, I have. I don't fear rejection or I wouldn't do it in the first place. it's just I don't want to mistake her friendliness for actual flirtiness. the fair amount of eye contact we had and the indent where she turned red after my little butt thing haha, makes ke think it's a little more than friendliness but I could be wrong. I'm also transferringto her class in publications at semester which is December through may, so I will start seieng and talking to her on a more regular basis then. oh yeah and what are those "tactics" PUA's use to judge whether a girl is interested or not?? but seriously guys and especially girls, what are hints that you show that you like a guy?? is she giving any of those signs??
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 you pretty much supplied your own answers, dude. now go make out with her, pronto ! well couldn't these jus be friendly things? she seems to be friendly with the other guys, not as much so, but i don't know... I think this might be my modesty kicking in....again
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 This is some great advice, no sarcasm! Seriously if this guy had the balls to just do this though he wouldn't be on here asking for advice. but if he actualy just followed ur advice ACTION he would be set. See this is beautiful advice and true. He is just so afraid of awkwardness and rejection. The truth is awkwardness is your friend "a girl will say yes just to avoid an awkward No and then you have a good chance to romance her" and Rejection lets you know where you stand. Asking a girl out also helps CREATE attraction where there was none. She might jut be a friendly girl but now HE likes her so he ASKS HER OUT and when she gets asked out she thinks I WANT TO GIVE THIS GUY A CHANCE I THINK I LIKE HIM. Then just forget it if thats the way you feel because even if she does like you things might fall apart after a few dates and then they would be more akward then if she just rejected you in the first place. My point is STOP BEING SCARED OF REJECTION. Be YOURSELF for a change in your life... THE CONFIDENT VERSION OF YOURSELF. YOu know the guy who isn't afraid to ask out a girl he likes and then try to kiss her on the date. Yeah flirt with her and then ASK HER OUT. who cares if shes friendly with other guys, maybe she likes more then one guy... shes a single girl its in her interest to be friendly and be noticed by a good number of guys. A lot of guys will be to scared of potential awkwardness and rejection to ask her out. well don't you ever think I might be rushing into that? she shows signs, but should i really jump right into asking her onto a date? I don't want to scare her off, and all the other girls in publications. all the girls with us on the trip were being nice to me and stuff, she just appeared to stand out more so. can you also answer my questions from my posts a little while earlier?
Green Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 well don't you ever think I might be rushing into that? she shows signs, but should i really jump right into asking her onto a date? I don't want to scare her off, and all the other girls in publications. all the girls with us on the trip were being nice to me and stuff, she just appeared to stand out more so. can you also answer my questions from my posts a little while earlier? The truth is if girls see a guy who is willing to ask a girl out in a carefree fun flirty way a guy who really doesn't care if he gets rejected or accepted and is just confident ... they will actualy find you cuter and may start liking you even if you get rejected. So really other girls seeing you as a guy who finds women hot and asks them out will make you look hot even if you get rejected. The only way you can look or feel bad is if you start letting what other people do effect who you are. Really you shouldn't worry about what other people think all the time.
Author bsilmb Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 The truth is if girls see a guy who is willing to ask a girl out in a carefree fun flirty way a guy who really doesn't care if he gets rejected or accepted and is just confident ... they will actualy find you cuter and may start liking you even if you get rejected. So really other girls seeing you as a guy who finds women hot and asks them out will make you look hot even if you get rejected. The only way you can look or feel bad is if you start letting what other people do effect who you are. Really you shouldn't worry about what other people think all the time. well it's tough man, but I think I gotta do it eventually. any tips on how to figure out if she likes me without asking her out yet? is my original story lead you to believe she does like me?v
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 it's not that I've never asked a girl out, I have. I don't fear rejection or I wouldn't do it in the first place. I take it that you've already asked her out then?
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 (edited) well it's tough man, but I think I gotta do it eventually. any tips on how to figure out if she likes me without asking her out yet? is my original story lead you to believe she does like me?v Look, just admit that you are afraid to ask her out. Realise that fact and then go ahead and ask her out. Honestly, it's neither here nor there whether her "signals" are signs of real interest or not. Telepathy is still an unproven phenomenon, so there is no way of knowing with absolute certainty what any one person is thinking. There are no sure-fire signals that guarantee someone is interested in you, but if you ask someone out on a date, it takes away a lot of the guesswork. The best indicator of interest is when you start dating someone on a regular basis. Edited November 15, 2010 by Tim The Enchanter
runner Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 well couldn't these jus be friendly things? she seems to be friendly with the other guys, not as much so, but i don't know... I think this might be my modesty kicking in....again if you're waiting for her to grab you by the shoulders, look you in the eye, and say, "yes, bsilmb, i will marry you and have a million babies with you" ... then you might as well forget about this whole thing and pick up some porno on your way home. look at what i wrote earlier, and write it on the chalk board 50 times as your punishment for the day. peace
Author bsilmb Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Look, just admit that you are afraid to ask her out. Realise that fact and then go ahead and ask her out. Honestly, it's neither here nor there whether her "signals" are signs of real interest or not. Telepathy is still an unproven phenomenon, so there is no way of knowing with absolute certainty what any one person is thinking. There are no sure-fire signals that guarantee someone is interested in you, but if you ask someone out on a date, it takes away a lot of the guesswork. The best indicator of interest is when you start dating someone on a regular basis. alright I will admit these are all problems i've made in my own head. it's just there seems to be a high risk of asking her out, cuz then everyone in that class will see me differently. I just need advice that consists of how to flirt and figure her out, but I will ask her out soon! I just need a little more confidence that she's interested
MrNate Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 alright I will admit these are all problems i've made in my own head. it's just there seems to be a high risk of asking her out, cuz then everyone in that class will see me differently. I just need advice that consists of how to flirt and figure her out, but I will ask her out soon! I just need a little more confidence that she's interested You're right they will. They will see you as the guy who has the balls to go for what he wants. 95% of guys can't say that.
Author bsilmb Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 if you're waiting for her to grab you by the shoulders, look you in the eye, and say, "yes, bsilmb, i will marry you and have a million babies with you" ... then you might as well forget about this whole thing and pick up some porno on your way home. look at what i wrote earlier, and write it on the chalk board 50 times as your punishment for the day. peace haha ok! the only question is, you don't think that that could just be her being friendly?
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