zig Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 For the first time in my life I have finally seen that I'm nothing but a big fat p***sy when it come to women. I let them walk all over me and always play the nice guy. It has gotten me nowhere. My friends have always told me "the girl is walking all over you" but I've never been able to see it for myself. I thought a lot about it and it's true. I feel like this is a big change in my life and from this day forward women aren't going to control me. I see it and it has been revealed. Let the posts come from the women how they like the nice guys... it's all bu*l**st. But from this day forth it's my way or the highway. I'm not talking about compromise in a relationship or being respectful and caring about women. I'm talking about being abused, taken advantage of, disrespected, and being used. Not anymore from this guy. It's been a long hard road for me and to those guys that are always treated badly by women just keep hoping that you'll see yourself as you are. You can see the light and change. It's not the fault of the women in this world, it's your fault and that is the honest truth. I just blew a relationship because I was a p**s cake. I let the girl walk all over me. Hopefully I'll get another chance with her but if not, I now know how to handle the next one. Good luck to all. Men, be men and not wimps. And hold off on the "bitter" comments. That isn't the case here at all. I'm simply taking control of my life and having a little dignity. Cheers.
welikeincrowds Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Your post will be a lot more helpful to others if you discuss what you actually saw.
Author zig Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 Your post will be a lot more helpful to others if you discuss what you actually saw. Read the post, "Seriously, For Real?"
runner Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 slight dissagreement here. i'd say that women do like 'nice guys'; nice guys that know how to flirt, build attraction, who know themselves, know what they want and go after it unapologetically. i honestly don't know any healthy women that enjoy going out with douchebags. guys who let women (or men for that matter) walk all over them, aren't really "nice"; they're just p*ssies.
Author zig Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 slight dissagreement here. i'd say that women do like 'nice guys'; nice guys that know how to flirt, build attraction, who know themselves, know what they want and go after it unapologetically. i honestly don't know any healthy women that enjoy going out with douchebags. guys who let women (or men for that matter) walk all over them, aren't really "nice"; they're just p*ssies. Yes, I'm not talking about being nice. I'm talking about being a wimp and letting women walk all over you. I have no issues about being nice to women. I adore them.
sanskrit Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Here's another revelation, women as a gender, like any other group, aren't to be adored. Individuals are to be adored once you know them well and they have earned your adoration, groups of people are not. One of the foundations of "nice guyness" the bad kind, is putting women on pedestals merely because they are supposedly the "fair sex," or because of misguided notions of gentlemanliness you learned in your youth. Another bad habit it assuming that women are good people merely because they are pretty people whom you find attractive. This sets you up for accepting a bad woman's chicanery as somehow your fault, and since many women love to shift all blame for everything onto men, it is an easy mistake to make. Not suggesting that you are doing these things per se, but your comment that you adore women leads in that direction. Since you are resolving to change your approach and attitude, go all the way with it for the best chance of success. Everyone in your life, male, female, family, friend, etc., should be a positive influence who gives to you as you give to them. Not suggesting keeping a scorecard, but learn to differentiate between people in your life who truly care about you versus those who are interested merely in getting something from you without giving in return. Get rid of the takers and you will then have more time and energy to give to the givers.
daphne Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Good post. Women don't like doormats anymore than men like doormats. Except for what they can get out of them. The evolved person will not exploit such a person, but they won't be terribly attracted to that person either. I used to be somewhat of a doormat myself. Learning to speak up and say what I liked or didn't like wasn't easy but it's that or being steamrolled by everyone else's preferences. Good luck in finding balance. Have a backbone, but don't get angry at human nature. It sounds like you get it though.
Cee Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Women don't like doormats anymore than men like doormats. I'm a recovering doormat too. I let family, friends, bosses, and lovers walk over me. It's taken me a long time to get over this b/c I wanted people to like me and not get mad at me. You know how 2 year olds love to say the word, "No." They do that to assert their newly discovered autonomy. That strategy works for adults too.
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