EricaH329 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 My other thread has really made me think about this. When a person honestly becomes happy being alone, why is it that they get approached less often? Is it because of the vibe they send off? Or is it because it's intimidating? Some people would disagree with this and say that people who are content with their lives actually get *more* attention because they appear to be happy (which is attractive). Personally, i've found that being content and not looking to date has lead to people approaching me less often.
USMCHokie Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 When a person honestly becomes happy being alone, why is it that they get approached less often? Is it because of the vibe they send off? Or is it because it's intimidating? Great question... I always figured I was approached less often because I wasn't all that appealing to women...but I recently realized that I'm just too friendly and buddy buddy with every girl I meet...perhaps I'm just a little too courteous or a little too polite...even when I'm at a club or bar, I'm not aggressive at all, so perhaps a girl thinks I'm not interested...or more likely that I'm already taken... Also, my friend I went out for Halloween with told me that I looked "intimidating"...he said he noticed people giving me stares and looks when I walked by them, but that they always looked hesitant to approach...even if I looked like I was smiling, laughing, and having a good time...I dunno...my coworker always tells me that my demeanor scares children... :laugh:
Author EricaH329 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 Great question... I always figured I was approached less often because I wasn't all that appealing to women...but I recently realized that I'm just too friendly and buddy buddy with every girl I meet...perhaps I'm just a little too courteous or a little too polite...even when I'm at a club or bar, I'm not aggressive at all, so perhaps a girl thinks I'm not interested...or more likely that I'm already taken... Also, my friend I went out for Halloween with told me that I looked "intimidating"...he said he noticed people giving me stares and looks when I walked by them, but that they always looked hesitant to approach...even if I looked like I was smiling, laughing, and having a good time...I dunno...my coworker always tells me that my demeanor scares children... :laugh: Maybe it's all those muscles! But i've hung out with you before, and I can see why someone would feel like you were intimidating. You are confident when you go out. You stand up straight, head up, almost a 'careless' type attitude (not in a negative way). I suppose this further proves the point that when you are happy with who you are, it shows and somehow becomes intimidating to those around. Hmmm, that makes me wonder about those people, though. If you are a person who is happy with who they are, then why would another person in the same position seem intimidating? Maybe we are just weeding out the ones who aren't happy with themselves?
ReturnToSender Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 When Im in a happy wonderful mood and totally content I rarely get approached... When Im having a crap day, in a bad mood its like I cant beat the guys off of me. Once a guy even tried to pick me up when I was screaming into my phone royally peeved off. I must look extra hot when Im mad or something, I dont know LoL! Always...when Im in no mood for it that guys approach me...
Mad Max Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I don't know. I find that the less I care, the more women care. No one likes desperation, but acting aloof does work. In my case, I never cared and I get approached more now then when I was 18-19.
Author EricaH329 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 I don't know. I find that the less I care, the more women care. No one likes desperation, but acting aloof does work. In my case, I never cared and I get approached more now then when I was 18-19. This is an example of the opposite that i'm talking about. You either get more attention, or less attention, from being perfectly happy being alone. I'm trying to understand why that is. I've been getting approached less often (not that I care, but i'm just noticing a difference), since i've been happy being alone.
shayan Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I approach girls virtually everywhere I go, weddings, school, subway, bus, stores, parties, etc. I have found that some are more accepting and attracting to being approached then others. Generally I am drawn to girls who have a more down to earth demeanor, calm, kind, (offcourse I have to be attracted to them). I think as a girl if you send out the vibe that you are open to being approached and comfrotable with it more men will come your way. And thus I find your approachability completely unrelated to wheteher you are happy being single or not. Be happy being single and love yourself but also welcome and desire to have conversation and interaction with other men and men will come I promise. In fact, if you are not happy and able to entertain and love yourself by yourself then you will find it an impossiblity to maintain a healthy relationship with another whether you are attracting men into your life or not. I think what's holding you back is your fear that if you are happy being single then it will be impossible for men to want to approach you. The two are not mutually exclusive events.
runner Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 When a person honestly becomes happy being alone, why is it that they get approached less often? Is it because of the vibe they send off? Or is it because it's intimidating? i'd go with the vibe aspect. perhaps it's because if you truly feel happy being alone and only want to be alone, you probably won't be inclined to being flirty as often, hence being "approached less often."
Mad Max Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 This is an example of the opposite that i'm talking about. You either get more attention, or less attention, from being perfectly happy being alone. I'm trying to understand why that is. I've been getting approached less often (not that I care, but i'm just noticing a difference), since i've been happy being alone. Depends on what vibe you're sending. If you're sending an "I'm perfectly content, leave me alone" vibe, then that would explain why you get approached less often.
Author EricaH329 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 i'd go with the vibe aspect. perhaps it's because if you truly feel happy being alone and only want to be alone, you probably won't be inclined to being flirty as often, hence being "approached less often." That's very possible! I haven't really noticed if i've been flirtatious or not lately. What I have noticed, though, is that the few guys who have been approaching me are taking my kindness for wanting to date them. If that makes sense. If a guy says "Hello" to me, i'm of course going to say hello back. But these particular guys (more than usual) quickly follow the "hello" up with, "You're beautiful, can I get your number?" It's frustrating. Depends on what vibe you're sending. If you're sending an "I'm perfectly content, leave me alone" vibe, then that would explain why you get approached less often. I'd hope that i'm not sending the "leave me alone" vibe out to anyone But considering the few guys who have approached me lately, i've been so turned off by, that perhaps I am sending out that vibe.
TouchedByViolet Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I think it has to do with the vibe that you put off when you are happy. Maybe when you are totally happy and content with yourself you don't dress to impress like you would when you were looking for a partner. Maybe you don't make as much eye contact with potential partners or engage in the type of dialog that would let a man know you are somewhat interested. I think it is difficult to know exactly why without knowing you, because it has to do with your behavior and personalty when you are happy and content. just my 2 cents
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