LucreziaBorgia Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 So, here I am six months pregnant and alone again. Well, not entirely - I have my daughter and my son-to-be. I also have a beautiful ring that I plan to pass down to my son when he is ready to be engaged. The ring is many generations old, and it essentially belongs to him as the next male child in the line. I am more than happy to keep that for him. As for the man - let's just say that some men struggle to move mountains for you, others become mountains for you to struggle against. After nearly a year, I got tired of struggling to get him to do more than the bare minimum so I walked away. I am worth more than that and my children are worth more than that. I see so many people choosing to stay because of various reasons, but I walked away for the best reasons: I need to provide my children my time, my attention, and the most stable environment. The guy wanted so badly for me to be pregnant, but after I was he continued to procrastinate on important things, refused to get (and maintain) the help he needed, and I just couldn't deal with that anymore - so, he gets to pay child support. Until he gets help, and can prove that he is maintaining treatment, I will petition for supervised visitations only. When the time comes for the hard questions: 'why doesn't Dad live with us', etc. I will be as objective as I have been with my daughter and will be truthful. In my son-to-be's case, we simply were not enough of a priority for 'family' to happen. He expected maximum benefit with the barest minimum of effort, was all talk and very little or no action, and I will never settle for that. I will teach my children to never settle for that either. I have been through far worse things, and the only thing I see in this situation is joy at having my son - I am not hurting, sad or even angry anymore. Just relieved at having dodged a huge bullet. Glad I didn't move in with him. I am more than capable of doing this, and more than happy to do so.
willowthewisp Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Does he have a substace abuse problem?
LittleTiger Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Sorry to hear the relationship didn't work out for you LB. However, it's lovely to know that you're feeling so positive and you've clearly made the right decision for you and your children. I hope things go well with the last few months of your pregnancy. You'll no doubt be very busy in February/March, but don't forget to come back and tell us all about your beautiful little boy when he arrives.
Author LucreziaBorgia Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 Does he have a substace abuse problem? That is only one of his problems (he admitted one day that he is an alcoholic after hiding it really well in the beginning). He is also bipolar and has severe OCD/hoarding problems, and one of the conditions of having a child was that he absolutely must on no uncertain terms be in treatment and be on medication. He went to one appointment, got two weeks of meds and then nothing. I found that out recently. I have known this guy for a long, long time and he seemed to be on the way up and talked a very good game about making his life better. I believed him at first, and then it went downhill when I realized it was all talk. I was ready to break things off and then I found that I was pregnant. Then things really went downhill. Something like that demands action, and he wasn't up to it apparently so buh-bye to him. He wants to continue to go to appointments and stuff, and seems to think he will be in delivery with me but I made it adequately clear this weekend that he can show up for whatever appointments he wants to, but he will be in the waiting room for the birth. I am enjoying being pregnant. After the cancers and the blood clot stuff I thought my babymaking days were over. Thankfully I was wrong. I don't mind a single thing about being pregnant and I am thrilled to be having my son. I just can't wait to meet him for the first time and hold him in my arms. :love: The greatest joy in my life has been my daughter, and I have no doubt this little one will only add to that joy. Men come and go, but my kids are my anchor, and I am the anchor for them as well.
tobydog Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Sorry to hear about all your troubles but Thank you for those uplifting words. At least I have my son who is the only thing that keeps me going. Good luck to you and your children. x
inthagong Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Stay strong for your children AND yourself..... There are good things coming...
whichwayisup Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Sorry to hear this news, but I do know you are strong and this baby is going to be well loved!
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