irc333 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Sometimes I wonder if it's actually necessary to go out on more than one date with a person to get a feel of them. Let's say the first date, there might have been some nervousness on the other person's party...does it take time to warm up to someone? Are you a "give it X amt of dates" to see if it goes soemwhere?
carhill Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Think about how your last meaningful friendship began and progressed. Is it your style to know immediately that the person in front of you will or will not be friendship material? IME, it's pretty consistent to know on the first date if there is physical attraction or that ethereal 'chemistry' not necessarily dependent on physicality. More dates reveal other aspects. Historically, I've generally given the process at least 2 or 3 dates, presuming the lady agreed to them and didn't decide immediately that I was unattractive to her. I cover a lot of stuff on dates
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Sometimes I wonder if it's actually necessary to go out on more than one date with a person to get a feel of them. Let's say the first date, there might have been some nervousness on the other person's party...does it take time to warm up to someone? Are you a "give it X amt of dates" to see if it goes soemwhere? Will you know everything from a first date? No. So, of course it's necessary! On a first date, I try to decide if I want a second date. No need to get ahead of myself, just: (1) Do I enjoy spending time with this person? (2) Do I find this person attractive?/Could I imagine kissing them/sleeping with them/etc? The end of what I need to know at that point.
colliejoanie Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I agree with the other posters. If on the first date, I can imagine myself kissing this person down the road, then I think about the possibility of a second date. I was on a date recently, we had a good time. I was super comfortable, but I realized that I couldn't imagine myself kissing this guy. He felt like my brother. No second date.
Cee Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I say keep dating as long as things are unfolding and intimacy is growing. I have a bad picker and trying to change that. Seriously, I have fcked up taste in men. I went on a second date with an amazing guy and I felt no spark. But everything about him screams that I need to keep trying. I want to fall for him- don't know if I can or not. Too soon. But I'm going to try. I wish I could take my picker out back and shoot it in the head. But it's not that easy.
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