rebeccajones Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 It was something that was planned before the break up of 2 months ago. So next week I will most likely (unless he cancels) be in close proximity for a few hours after 2 months of NC directly after the breakup. I have not talked to or seen him for 2 months after about 2 years. It is somewhat uncomfortable, but then I have feelings of hope of reconciling, talking (sex? ). Anything or nothing could come of it. I just don't know if I should speak to him, ignore him. I have no idea how he feels, he has not told me any different since the breakup, we want different things in life so we ended it. I just don't know how to act. I'm also afraid to get hurt or rejected by him. We broke up he left immediately and I cut all ties immediately. Part of me daydreams of reconciliation and the other says ignore him move on. I just hope it doesn't depress me all over again, thinking about the loss. In the past I've been burned pretty bad because I've always wanted the person back and I just get hurt more because of it. So I don't want to be a dumbass. Please wish me luck! If anyone has had this experience or advice please let me know your thoughts. I feel positive, but my feelings when it comes to relationships don't always jive with reality! Should I just have no hope?
SithLord Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Why are you concerning yourself with his emotions? Worry about yourself! Work on yourself and improving life. Remove all hopes from your head. What you feel is normal! But you have to stop focusing on his phone call etcc.. Trust me I'm currently going through my own stuff and I had 3 years with my ex. Life continues. Exes usually don't come back until you truly forget about them and by then you wont care and have moved on.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 Thanks Sith. Yea I see what you mean. Don't be so concerned about HIS emotions or how he feels, how do I feel about this. Gotcha.
SithLord Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Think of all the bad in why you guys not together! It boils down to attachment at the end of the day. Go into no contact and drop off the earth. Make yourself sexier, improve your life, take up new activities. The only feelings that matters is yours! Life works on, the best way to make an ex come back is when you move on.. And If he ever calls you back or emails etc cc at that point you won't care.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 The thing I just don't know what to think or say to him. I will be with him for a few hours. I want to kind of but then our relationship is at a stalemate and I feel I am always the one wanting someone back and then just get dissed. I do want him back in a way, but he can't give me what I want nor is he willing to try so the whole situation may be hurtful.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Do you really have to go? Can't cancel? This sounds like a bad idea.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 It is impossible to cancel I could possibly be moved to another area. I have a few days to figure things out in my head.
Eternity001 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I wouldn't go with any expectations because if you don't get what you're expecting you'll feel 10 times worse. If you have no choice but to go then take it in your stride, act happy even if you're not. If you act like a puppy dog begging for reconciliation you are doomed. I'm due to meet up with my ex that I haven't seen in 11 months, in a week I'll see her. I don't know what to expect at all but I'm certainly not expecting anything to come of it. I'm more or less hoping that when I do see her it'll just validate why I left her.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 The truth is I will be on a plane with him for 2 hours or so. This event / vacation I have to attend he was going to go but now will just go his own way. So I'm thinking he could have canceled his flight changed it etc. I don't know I'm just wondering does he have an interest in seeing me since he did not cancel or change his flight. Should I reinvite him to this event, should we spend time together while there, should I extend myself and ask him? I'm thinking HE should I am assuming he wont care to be with me, but I have no clue I'm confused. I don't want to extend an invitation if I am just going to be rejected. I have not talked to or seem him for two months. Wouldn't he call or ask if he did want to spend time with me or was interested in something with me? I can't see us hanging out as only buddies or friends so I don't know what to do.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 So I'm thinking he could have canceled his flight changed it etc. I don't know I'm just wondering does he have an interest in seeing me since he did not cancel or change his flight...Wouldn't he call or ask if he did want to spend time with me or was interested in something with me? I can't see us hanging out as only buddies or friends so I don't know what to do. Not to paint with too broad a brush but frankly, in my experience, unless a guy LOATHES you, he won't go out of his way to avoid you. He just deals with it. I know many guys who can dislike a girl and you wouldn't know it from appearances alone. So no, it doesn't mean anything that he didn't cancel/change his flight. Yes, he would have called or contacted you in some way if he was still interested. I promise I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. Just trying to help with your confusion.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Yes it does kind of hurt my feelings but I do need to see reality here!
sarahkm Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 please don't go. 2 months of work will go to waste. i just did a post break up date and it sucked. it's like breaking up all over again and who the h*** needs to go through it twice?!
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